


In Good Company

by SuperBlondie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Angst, Bad Jokes, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Happy Ending, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, a brief glance at my undying love of sharks, college student!junmyeon, im bad at tagging, sugar daddy!yifan, they're both disasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2019-11-03 20:48:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 58,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17884961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperBlondie/pseuds/SuperBlondie
Summary: Signing up for a sugar daddy website? Bad idea. Letting Jongdae, Sehun, and Chanyeol know that he had signed up for a sugar daddy website? An even worse idea. Going on a date with the sugar daddy they'd messaged on his behalf? Worst idea in the history of bad ideas. Meeting Kris? Possibly the best thing that's ever happened to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! So here's the start of the sugar daddy fic I've been working on for a while. It's a hot mess but I really really love it and I hope you do too! 
> 
> As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi!](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18) (her twitter account got locked so she's on a new one!)

This was a bad idea. Among all the bad ideas he’s had in his life, this one is definitively the worst. This tops, trying to drink an entire gallon of milk on a dare, taking a pole dancing class with Sehun, _and_ becoming friends with Jongdae. All bad ideas that are somehow not as bad as _this_ bad idea. It wasn’t even his idea in the first place! It was to some extent, but he’d never have gone through with it if Sehun and Jongdae hadn’t grabbed his phone a week ago while Chanyeol had him distracted and replied to the stupid message sitting in his stupid inbox on the stupid website he left open on his stupid phone.

He hopes Kyungsoo punished Chanyeol for being a bully. Probably not, because now that Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are grossly in love the stupidly tall man gets away with _everything._ He misses when Chanyeol was just Kyungsoo’s friend and subject to the Gaze of Death like the rest of them. At least he knows Minseok kicked Jongdae’s ass for it. Minseok, the Best Friend to End All Friends.

He really should call him. And then he can go home and change the passcode on his phone to keep nosy fucking meddlers out of it.

“Junmyeon, I assume?” Too late. Junmyeon tries to look nonchalant, more like a normal human being and not like he’s a lizard person hiding in a human suit and terrified someone is going to call him on it. He fails, probably. Junmyeon has never claimed to be smooth or good with people. He’s an introverted literature major with a total of five friends, two of which he’s had since he was a kid. Books are easier than people, they don’t judge like people do, like the tall man in the immaculate suit staring down at him is. But he manages to not make the high-pitched nervous noise that threatens to come out of his mouth, so he’ll count that as a fucking Olympic gold medal.

“Yeah – yes! Yes, I’m Junmyeon – that is me. I am him. Yeah.” Heat rises to his cheeks as the man raises an eyebrow in what he really hopes is amusement. People usually find bumbling nervousness endearing, right? “You’re, um, Mr. Wu, right?” The man nods. “C-cool.” Will the ground crack open and create a perfectly Junmyeon-sized hole if he asks nicely enough? Because he can ask _really_ nicely if that’s what it takes. _C-cool_?! That’s all he says, _c-cool_? This was such a bad idea.

But Mr. Wu smirks, one corner of his mouth turning up. At least Junmyeon knows for sure that he’s amused. Hopefully. Sometimes Kyungsoo will smirk at Jongdae after he says something outrageously stupid or crude and Jongdae will vault over every obstacle in his way to get to the nearest sanctuary.

Mr. Wu doesn’t seem like Kyungsoo though. Good, Junmyeon doesn’t want to go on a date with Kyungsoo; Chanyeol has that frontier thoroughly explored. Instead, he’s standing outside a restaurant with Mr. Wu, a complete stranger except for the information on his profile and the few texts they’ve sent back and forth over the past week. He’s thirty years old, takes really good selfies, didn’t seem to mind Junmyeon’s stunted attempts at texting. Likes steak and seafood and restaurants that require Junmyeon to go digging through his meager wardrobe for something nice to wear and, apparently, Junmyeon. He liked him enough to ask him on a date, at least. He’ll probably like Junmyeon a lot less when he realizes that he’s always so awkward.

A car speeds by and sends a wave of dirty road water crashing towards them both. It happens too fast for Junmyeon to move but not fast enough that he doesn’t realize that his nice suit, the only suit he owns that he wore to his cousins wedding five years ago, is about to get ruined. Before his date, a date that he really didn’t want to fuck up. He was going to fuck it up anyway, it’s what he does, but it really sucks to have it ruined before he even has a chance to make it go okay. “Are you alright?” Junmyeon opens his eyes – he’d squeezed them shut at the first sign of impending doom. Mr. Wu had tugged them both out of the way and is looking at him like Minseok looks at Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s dogs when one of them runs headfirst into the coffee table. “One of the things I dislike about this neighborhood,” Mr. Wu says, “drivers too self-absorbed to look where they’re going.”

Junmyeon nods, helpless. What is he supposed to say to that? Most of the people in his neighborhood ride bikes because cars are too expensive, him included. Minseok and Kyungsoo share a car, but that old black and white station wagon is only held together by dreams and duct tape.

"Come," Mr. Wu motions for him to follow him inside, "wouldn't want another car coming by and soaking you through." Junmyeon would really like to come out of this pneumonia-free, if at all possible, so he follows and tries beat down the nerves jittering under his skin. Mr. Wu holds open the door for him, all charisma and gentility, "You first, Junmyeon." How the fuck is someone able to ooze charm and not come off as cheesy? Maybe because they ooze charm, that might have something to do with it.

Words are hard when he's nervous.

The door barely has time to close behind them before they're greeted by a pretty hostess. She has to be Junmyeon's age, maybe older, and there's something in her eyes that says she knows exactly what's going on. He wants to hide in the bathroom and call Minseok to come get him.

"Mr. Wu," the hostess greets, perfectly poised and professional, "I know you reserved a booth, but Mr. Byun insisted that you use a private room. Mr. Zhang still has a booth reserved if you'd prefer it though, he just asks that you leave his name out of it if Mr. Byun asks." Oh, they're eating at one of Mr. Wu's friend's restaurants. He really should have expected that. Rich men tend to know and befriend other rich men. Like how Junmyeon, a broke college student, is only friends with other broke college students.

Mr. Wu sighs, "Tell Mr. Byun that I would prefer if he kept his nose out of my private life. Your boss is a pest, Krystal, I am so sorry you have to work for him." Krystal laughs and waves him off before leading the two through the restaurant, which is easily the nicest place Junmyeon's ever been to in his entire life.

Krystal leaves them at a booth tucked into a back corner of the restaurant with menus and the promise of a server coming by soon. Mr. Wu chuckles to himself. "I'm sure you know how nosy friends can be. Right, Junmyeon?"

"Oh yeah, my friends can be - um - a lot to handle." Phone-stealing, clothes-borrowing, whiny little jerks. But at least his friends have never actively gotten involved in his love life. They push, but they never change things on him. "But I think it's because they care, Mr. Wu. Friends like to see each other happy."

"Please, call me Kris. Mr. Wu makes me feel like I'm at work... and a little old." Kris looks up from his menu with a warm smile that meets his eyes and Junmyeon's last two brain cells short-circuit. Shit, he needs those. "But you're right, they have good intentions. The execution is what needs work."

They both start to look through their menus. Kris does, at least. Junmyeon takes one look at the prices and has to look away so his head doesn't fucking explode. He's pretty sure some of this stuff costs more than what he spends on groceries in a week. Of course, he lives off of cup noodles and whatever's on clearance. But that’s a given, he’s in college. The most he can even think about letting himself get is soup, and that's only because Kris had been very adamant over text that he was buying him dinner.

Kris is handsome, a lot more handsome than the men Junmyeon had expected to find on that website. Zitao was the one who showed Junmyeon the website in the first place, after he broke down and cried at Minseok, Jongdae, and Sehun chipping in to cover his portion of the rent. His first warning was not to get his hopes up about finding anyone not horrendous or ancient.

_"I told Minseok I wouldn't bring it up with you...but I can't just sit by and watch you cry like this. Listen, the site I use for my...business is pretty reputable and safe. I know you've been having a hard time finding a job so maybe check it out?"_

And he did. He made a profile and uploaded pictures of himself that Zitao deemed good enough. Sehun saw them when he stole his phone and deemed them _extra twinkish._ Either way, they managed to get Kris' attention. There were also a few men older than his father, but those messages were left unanswered in favor of the man sitting across the table.

The man sitting across the table that wants to pay him to be his _companion_. That's what Kris called it over text. It feels nicer than sugar baby; makes him feel a little bit more like a person. Zitao said that was the hardest part, finding one that treats him like a person.

Kris looks up from his own menu and they meet each other's eyes. He smiles on reflex and Kris smiles back. "So, see anything you like?" Zitao told him to be flirty, to take any and every opportunity to be cute and coy and make the man want him. This is a prime opportunity; Junmyeon fidgets with the menu and ducks his head instead. Kris laughs, "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I was genuinely curious; is there anything on the menu that you like?"

"Oh, I, uh. Soup, maybe?" He really should have looked. He doesn't even know if there's soup listed on the menu.

"The soup here is pretty good, yeah. I don't know what they have tonight though."

A waiter comes by and takes their drink order. The kid looks as nervous as Junmyeon feels. What kind of power does Kris have to make their waiter stutter? Kris raises an eyebrow when Junmyeon just orders water. Junmyeon literally cannot ingest sugar right now or his heart will explode. He's already nervous.

"A literature major, right? What exactly does that entail and why did you pick it?"

"Yeah," it's the most comfortable Junmyeon has felt so far, "I'm starting third year right now. It's a lot of analyzing texts and studying why writers use the words they do." Kris settles his chin on the back of his hand and his eyes crinkle at the corners. It makes him stumble over his words for a moment. "I like to write so it just kind of made sense for me to pick something to do with literature. I like actually writing more than studying _how_ to write, but it's not bad. I guess I just wish there were some classes for just writing. I'm in a class now where all we do is complain about how people re-enact Shakespeare. It's so pretentious and everyone feels like their way is the right way."

Kris wrinkles his nose and it's - it's really funny. Not super cute or anything because he looks like he smelled something bad, but Junmyeon giggles a little. "Really? They make you pay to take these classes and _that's_ what they're teaching you?"

Junmyeon feels a little defensive about the quality of his schooling but he knows that the liberal arts get shafted every year come budget time. So he just nods. "I write down what they hate on sometimes and me and my friends will re-enact it using only those things. We did Romeo and Juliet in southern accents one time and, um, one of my friends is an acting major so he over-acted _everything_. His boyfriend still has it on his phone. It's not, you know, all bad."

"It sounds wonderful," Kris says, "I'd love to see it sometime." Sometime, that means Kris wants to see him again after this. He has no idea how he managed that, but he's not going to complain.

"I can ask Chanyeol to send it to me." As if he doesn't have a copy of his own on the phone sitting in his pocket. That video is more than just southern accents though, and he's not quite ready for Kris to see him attempt to twerk to Sehun rapping the lines of Juliet's famous _Wherefore art thou, Romeo_ monologue. Kris doesn't know that though, so he smiles.

The air stays light and silly and Junmyeon realizes he's actually having fun _._ He has a few more stories about his Shakespeare class, mostly centered on the twins named Kale and Okra that sit in the front row. Kris laughs so hard he chokes on his own breath when Junmyeon tells him that their last name is Leaf.

"White people name their children weird stuff," Kris takes a drink of his water. He'd had a single drink while Junmyeon described the insane book-throwing fight that took place about the usage of American or British accents and then switched to water.

Junmyeon doesn't know if it's because he's only drinking water – he's four glasses in already because he stress-eats and stress-drinks when there's no food around – or if it's because the man wants to stay composed. He appreciates it either way. Drunk people are among his least favorite people in the world.

"A couple that designs for us from time to time just had a baby and I asked them what they named it. They said they were waiting for the child to pick their own name."

"What? That's... that's not..."

Kris raises his eyebrows and nods, "I see you are also an intellectual, Junmyeon, wonderful. I then asked them what they're going to call the baby until that time comes and they said – wait for it – baby. They're just going to just call them Baby."

Junmyeon's a little dumbfounded. He's never going to do that to his children. They are going to have names. Actual names that make sense and won't get them bullied. Of course, if they decide to change those names when they're old enough, that's a thing that can happen, but he's not going to call his infant Baby.

Zitao said to be cute and flirty. Junmyeon does awkward and punny so much better. "You know...they should never let the kid watch _Dirty Dancing_ ," he says. And he's bubbling with excitement, he's got an awful joke lined up. One that would make even Minseok groan and swat at him. Kris looks confused and motions for him to continue.

"When they put the kid in timeout," he drops his voice, " _nobody puts Baby in the corner_."

There are few moments of silence as the joke sinks in. And then Kris gives a little _ha-ha_ of laughter and shakes his head. "That was awful, I loved it." Junmyeon can't help the proud smile that spreads across his face. "Are all your jokes that painful? And pop culture related? It's very cute but my pop culture knowledge is found solely in fashion."

He has a fashion joke. It is one of the worst jokes in his arsenal and honestly couldn't even make Minseok do more than groan. But he has a fashion joke. And telling jokes can be considered flirty, right? "I really didn't like the Met Gala this year."

Kris perks up, lips pursing and eyebrows arching. Fashion moguls and the Met Gala, like peanut butter and grape jelly - people who like strawberry jelly are demons. "I wasn't aware that you liked fashion. Though I do agree that it was a lackluster turnout this year. I hated the lack of creativity regarding Catholic designs. What bothered you the most?" Oh shit. Oh fuck. Kris was just supposed to ask why and set up the punchline.

Junmyeon didn't prepare for Kris to take him _seriously._ Junmyeon wears kitty cat pajama pants and sweatshirts twice his size; fashion is not his forte. He finally looks at the menu, ducking his face in close as he mumbles his answer.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." _Son of a bitch_. Junmyeon mumbles a little louder. "One more time, Junmyeon, if you don't mind?"

"Because the outfits were godawful!" He can't look up. He won't. Kris is going to get up and leave because Junmyeon does an awful, horrible job at being a sugar baby or companion or whatever kind of relationship they're trying to set up here. Zitao says people looking for sugar babies want cute and sweet and sensual and sexy and all the things Junmyeon is _not._

Kris _howls_. He laughs so loudly Junmyeon startles and looks up from where he was trying to shoot eye-lasers through the drink menu. This man, a _CEO_ , is cackling into his hands with his eyes squeezed shut. Heat rushes into Junmyeon's cheeks and he wiggles a little with pride.

No one ever enjoys his jokes that much. It feels kind of nice to be recognized for his humor.

"That was so _awful_ ," never mind. "Did you come up with that on your own?" Junmyeon nods and now the heat in his face feels less excited and more like he's wishing for the ground to swallow him whole. At least Kris is really pretty when he laughs.

The waiter comes again, this time to take their order. Junmyeon flounders and Kris _knows_ he hasn't read the menu. He probably knows that it's because everything is ridiculously fucking expensive too. Just – why would anyone ever need to pay this much for food? These kinds of restaurants don't even give large portions for the price. Junmyeon knows that he could get food that tastes good from the tiny diner a block away from his apartment for literal fractions of the cost.

Still, Kris makes a point to ask what the soups of the day are, smirking at Junmyeon across the table. He orders the tomato soup because everything else has a fancy name that he doesn't have the brain power to comprehend; Kris killed those last few brain cells earlier. Junmyeon wasn't lying when he said he needed those.

"You're the epitome of a broke college student," Kris says when the waiter walks away. Junmyeon's jaw drops open. Like, Kris isn't wrong but does he really have to say it? "I've talked to a few others about this kind of arrangement and you are the only one who has ever given off the 'I survive off of ramen, cheap coffee, and sheer spite' vibe like this."

And shit, Kris actually has him pegged. His three major food groups, ramen, shitty instant coffee that Jongdae buys by the case load, and a burning passion to prove everyone who's ever doubted him wrong. Is he that transparent?

He feels a little ridiculous, honestly. All of Zitao's tips and tricks to be sly and charm his way into a – is being a sugar baby a job? It has to be, he's putting in time and effort and getting money back. So yeah, a job. But all of Zitao's tricks are useless because Kris isn't a sleazy old man looking for a piece of ass.

Kris seems lonely. Junmyeon can't put a finger on it, but the man just seems so lonely. "I can't tell if that's a good thing. Did it not work out because you like vindictive, over-caffeinated, college students or because you don't?"

They both laugh, Kris shaking his head and sighing and Junmyeon feeling a little too proud of himself. Kris rests his chin on his fist and watches him for a moment. It's in his job description to read others, to figure out how to get what he wants from them. Kris doesn't look at Junmyeon like that. It's a little like Jongdae looking out the window on rainy days, when the world catches up to him and there's nothing there to stop him from sitting down with all his thoughts.

Kris looks at him like he's trying to find an answer he's not sure is there. It's weird because Junmyeon doesn't know what to do. Minseok always sits with Jongdae on those days. They lean on each other until the storm in Jongdae's head clears. But he and Kris barely know each other. He doesn't know how to help him. He wishes he did; no one should have to sit by themselves if they want company.

"I wasn't sure if I did or not, but I think it might grow on me." The corners of his mouth pull up and his eyes change, going a little brighter. "Though I'll have to make sure you watch how much ramen you eat. You can't grow on me if you're not around and that stuff is _not food_."

No one insults ramen. He is well aware that it is awful for him and his intestines are probably going to turn into a big block of plastic but ramen kept him fed when nothing else did. "It most certainly is food. I can eat it, therefore it's food."

"You can eat arsenic too. Is that food?"

"That's different because arsenic is a _poison_."

"And instant ramen isn't?" The blasphemy. It's like sitting at the fucking Last Supper table with Judas except he's not Jesus and therefore not prohibited from kicking Judas' ass for being a traitor.

Junmyeon has never in his life bickered about ramen. Maybe about who gets the last packet when Sehun doesn't want to admit that Junmyeon was the one who bought the fucking food and should get to eat it. But not about the validity of it as foodstuffs.

And then he finds out that Kris is Canadian and says _bag_ like _beg_. They don't bicker, Junmyeon just tries to see how many times he can get the man to say the word because it makes him laugh. It's fucking ridiculous. Canadians and their weird pronunciations. "So do you have like a purse that you carry?"

Kris rolls his eyes, walking right into the trap. "In a sense, yes. Though it is becoming more common to just call purses bags. Oh, very nice, Junmyeon. I see. Is it really that funny to you?" Yes, yes, a million times yes. It's funny because it's harmless. There's a hint of a Chinese accent on some of Kris' words but Junmyeon leaves that alone.

Making fun of a Canadian accent is one thing because no one will commit a hate crime over the word _bag._ Junmyeon knows the hell an Asian accent can bring down on someone in America.

When their food comes, they eat quietly. Kris eats like he's starving. Which, seeing as he's probably pretty fucking busy and it's a weeknight, is pretty likely. Junmyeon just is bad about making conversation when he's focused on something else. He'll trail off mid-conversation if something on TV catches his eye. Class discussions are a lesson in concentration because he always finds the most interesting pattern on the wall or the carpet or his desk just as he goes to raise his hand.

"Good," Kris asks between bites of some pasta dish he's inhaling like a top of the line Roomba. "Like your tomato soup?" Junmyeon answers in a happy food noise because Kris is like a waiter, always asking if he likes his food while he's trying to eat it. Once he figures out ventriloquism and can make the salt shaker answer for him, no one will ever be able to make a fool out of him again.

That's a lie. The universe will find a way. If he's not made a fool of at least once a day, how will he know he's alive?

The check comes quickly after they finish eating. Junmyeon's suit made it out intact, a gift from the gods. He's probably going to get soaked with dirty road water as he walks to his bus stop.

Kris hands the waiter his card without looking, focusing instead on how Junmyeon is wiping off his mouth. It's the thing he hates most about eating with other people. He knows he wipes off his mouth like a hamster, he has known since Jongdae pointed it out freshman year of college.

"I'm sorry to cut our date a little short," Kris reaches across the table to take Junmyeon's hand in his own, "I have work in the morning and I have to assume that you have class as well? I thought so. I would like to talk about the business aspects of our relationship when I walk you to your car."

Bold of him to assume Junmyeon has a car. He is a big fan of public transportation. And his bike. Junmyeon loves his bike.

"You don't have a car, do you?" Junmyeon shakes his head. "Can I drive you home then? I'd rather talk to you when I don't have to worry about you being mugged the second I let you out of my sight."

He kind of knew this was coming. Kris seemed like a decent guy over text. Decent enough to not let his date take three different buses home. Not that Kris needs to know the place he picked was three bus rides away. He'd probably feel kind of guilty. "I live pretty far out, Kris, you don't have to-"

"I'd be an ass to make you take the bus home when I have a perfectly good car that can get you there in half the time. I understand if you feel uncomfortable letting a man you just met drive you, but if the protest has anything to do with any burden on me then please drop it." Kris is all kind smiles and reassuring thumb circles against Junmyeon's wrist. Makes him a little dizzy. A little hard to come up with another reason to tell Kris that he doesn't have to drive him home.

"No other arguments? Then let me get my card back and we can go."

The card is in his hands in seconds, like he summoned it. The waiter bids them a goodnight and Junmyeon knows he's probably going to go stand in the walk-in freezer and cool down from a stressful table. It's what Junmyeon used to do when he worked at a restaurant. Kris comes around the booth to help him up, as if Junmyeon isn't perfectly capable of standing on his own. His legs may be short, but they still work fine.

Kris doesn't let his hand go after he helps Junmyeon to his feet. He keeps it held tight within his hand as he guides them back out of the restaurant, glaring at a couple watching them from the hostess' station. One looks like he has to physically restrain the other from bounding over to them and saying hello.

They're nearly to the parking lot when Kris starts to speak again, "I want to discuss the next steps in this relationship. I'm very interested in you being my companion, but only if you feel the same."

And that's surprising. How did he manage to win Kris over so fast? The inability to string words together? The compulsive blushing? Maybe Kris _does_ have a thing for grouchy, over-caffeinated college students. Zitao made it sound like it took a little while to really seal the deal. Which, in Zitaoland, probably means a few rounds of sex. Junmyeon likes this a lot better.

It's not that he's a stranger to sex - yes, he is. He is very much a stranger to sex and he and Minseok have talked about lying to himself. He's had sex a few times, all with really serious boyfriends. He will have time to get to know Kris, for Kris to get to know him. Maybe. Depends on how badly Kris wants fuck him.

"I'm, um, interested."

Kris makes a noise of joy and fishes his car keys out of his pocket with his free hand. The taillights flash on a car just in front of them and Junmyeon has to squeeze his eyes shut to block it out. When he opens them again - _holy shit_ that's a fucking vehicle. It transcends the word _car._ It makes Kyungsoo and Minseok’s look like an even bigger pile of junk in comparison. It's all sleek lines and dangerous and looks like it could truly go zero to a hundred real quick.

"Get in and type your address into the GPS, please," Kris lets his hand go with a squeeze and walks around to the driver's side, the picture of nonchalance. Like he's not walking around the fucking batmobile. That's what this car looks like, the fucking _batmobile_. His potential sugar daddy is Batman. Still, Junmyeon timidly opens the passenger door, terrified to touch anything with his actual hands.

Kris is blissfully unaware, buckling himself in and setting up the radio. "I'll talk to you a bit about what I expect of you during the drive over, though I'm not sure how much time we'll have." And then Junmyeon gently taps in his address and Kris' jaw drops. "You were going to take the bus home? From here?" He nods. It's not his favorite trip but it's not the worst. Just lengthy and a little scary when it's dark outside.

"All of these types of relationships have rules, yes," Kris asks, "Rules for me and rules for you. Rule number one for you? _Never_ take the bus home when it's this late at night. Call a car or tell me where you are and _I_ will call a car for you or come get you myself."

"I-I really... It's fine! I've ridden the bus later than this before," Junmyeon sputters. He's a grown man, close enough to grown to take the bus home, at least. There have been a few close calls; one man nearly stabbed another during one notable and terrifying trip home after a midnight shift back when he had a job. But it's something he does every goddamn day. "I appreciate the concern but taking the bus is just a part of life."

The engine purrs and it sounds a lot like the low grumble coming out of Kris' chest. He backs the car out of the space with one hand and seeks out Junmyeon with the other. Touchy, Kris is very touchy. Zitao said that all of his sugar daddies have been touchy. Maybe it's a rich people thing?

Kris pulls up to stoplight and turns to him, lips pursed in determination and the intensity in his eyes is just crossing the line into intimidating. "During the day, yes. I take the bus during the day as well, when people are a bit more reasonable and there are enough people milling around to ward off most of the muggers and rapists. Nights are entirely different. Most of the rules I will suggest are negotiable. This one is not because it's for your safety."

It's hard not to let his hackles raise. He treasures his independence and his self-control. But he does truly appreciate the concern and not having to play seat leapfrog to move away from handsy creeps sounds really nice. "If it's after eight."

"Hm?"

"I'll text you or whatever if it's after eight," Junmyeon has to force the stutter out of his voice. Kris can't keep smirking at him like that. His last two brain cells are starting to come back online and he'd like to keep them there.

"Sounds perfect to me!" Kris kisses the back of his hand - there go the last two brain cells again. It was nice having them for a few seconds. The light turns green.

They keep driving and Junmyeon's bus stop passes by. He would still be walking to the bus stop if Kris wasn't taking him home. His feet are incredibly grateful to the tall, touchy, pushy man in the driver's seat but his pride is still smarting, just a little. His mouth and brain cell, the last one that he's pretty sure is a manifestation of Jongdae and Sehun together, collaborate with his injured pride and take his vocal chords hostage. "I have a rule too."

Junmyeon tries to stop himself, sends in the SWAT team of his impulse control. But the Jongdae-Sehun-and-maybe-Minseok brain cell is faster, "I want to wait to have sex. Just until we know each other a little."

Oh he just had to fucking go there. The Freudian slip of the century. All his insecurities just falling out of his mouth. Kris was really into him! He had somehow managed to stop himself from fucking this up and now it is Fucked Up, capital letters because he's an idiot-

"That's fine," Kris says, "It's your body and I'm a stranger who has the power in this dynamic; it can be very much a turn-off. We can wait as long as you need. Physical needs are secondary to what I'm asking of you anyway."

Oh. That's sweet. That's honestly one of the most reassuring things he's heard in a while. Tension he didn't even know he had leaks out of his shoulders.

"What are you asking of me then?" It had been very vague over text. Not that they'd texted much beforehand. He had thought that Kris wanted a typical sugar daddy deal but that idea's been blown out of the water. He has no idea what the man wants from him. Hopefully not help in robbing a bank or exacting revenge on a business partner who wronged him.

Kris laughs nervously. Junmyeon watches as he smiles sheepishly and taps his fingers on the steering wheel. "I had this idea of speech about what I expected of you," Kris explains, "but I forgot it when I saw that you were going to take the bus home. Those kinds of things make me nervous and I tend to forget when I'm nervous."

"Buses make you nervous?"

"You running around in the middle of the night all by yourself looking gorgeous makes me nervous." Junmyeon's face feels like it's on _fire_. Real, actual fire. Kris is a sweet-talker. A dangerous sweet-talker. And Kris knows it. He's smirking again, glancing at Junmyeon from the corner of his eye. The dashboard has too many lit up buttons, he can probably see the pink in his cheeks. Thankfully, he doesn't say anything. "But I am looking for a companion. I really don't like the word sugar daddy and sugar baby, reminds me of those candies from the sixties. And it just sounds weird. And I don't have a daddy kink.

"But I have a lot of public appearances so I would want you to accompany me to those. I would take care of wardrobe and you wouldn't have to mingle any more than you wanted to. Aside from that, we would spend time together either on dates or at my apartment. Enjoy each other's company. You would lead the physical interactions until or unless you feel more comfortable having me lead. Does that sound alright with you?"

That sounds perfect. Really fucking perfect. The public appearances sound terrifying but everything else checks literally every box he has. It's being a paid boyfriend. Junmyeon can do boyfriend, he does boyfriend really really really well. Minseok said he would date him if he didn't see him as a little brother. And if he wasn't already doing some weird mating dance with Jongdae.

But he can do this. He can really do this.

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good." Another stoplight. Kris looks over with a smile, a big smile. "You could have probably said anything but asking me to be your accomplice in a bank robbery and I'd have said yes. The sex thing was my big worry."

Kris throws his head back and laughs and Junmyeon can't help but laugh along. When they stop, the light has changed and the person behind them is honking in annoyance. It just makes Kris laugh harder and stick his tongue out at the rearview mirror. "There goes my idea to rob a bank for the second date. I don't know what we'll do now."

There's so much comfort here. This back and forth feels normal, like something they've done countless times. Junmyeon keeps smiling so wide that his cheeks ache. But Kris is funny and goofy and seems determined to make him laugh and Junmyeon loves to laugh. It's why he has so many jokes.

Kris waxes poetic about the bank robbery he'd planned for the second date, so detailed it actually worries him a little, and Junmyeon laughs until he starts to cry. When Kris finally stops, they have to sit in silence until Junmyeon can breathe normally again. His building is just coming into view by then. He feels a little sad to have this moment end. The radio is buzzing the background and Kris keeps rubbing his thumb across Junmyeon's knuckles.

"I know we didn't talk much about payment, but take this for tonight and we can talk about setting up something with your bank a little later," Kris says as he pulls up to the curb and pulls his hand out of Junmyeon's. They both wipe their hands on their pants, stupid sweaty hands. At least Junmyeon's pretty sure it's not just as his sweat. And then Kris is pressing a bundle of bills into his now clean hand.

Holy shit. That's a lot of fucking money. For a dinner? That Kris paid for? _What the fuck?_ None of this makes sense. How does he tell Kris that this seems like way, way too much? He has to because this is just ridiculous. He turns to tell Kris that he could probably accept _half_ of this but his brain grinds to halt because Kris is just watching him.

The man leans over the console and cups Junmyeon's face in his hand. "Can I kiss you," he murmurs. He was supposed to tell Kris that this is too much money. Why is he nodding dumbly and closing his eyes? He really needed those fucking brain cells.

Kris is gentle. He doesn't shove their mouths together or force Junmyeon to submit. He's just an insistent pressure, soft lips and a hint of tongue brushing over Junmyeon's bottom lip. Junmyeon's brain tips into an odd kind of void and refuses to come back out until Kris is pulling away, lips red and shiny with spit.

"Goodnight, Junmyeon, I'll be in touch soon. Get some sleep."

"Night, Kris. S-see you soon. Thank you for dinner and for driving me home." And for the stupid amount of money that Junmyeon needs to protest next time he sees Kris. He exits the car and waves goodbye. But Kris motions for him to go inside first. They stay like that, motioning for the other to leave first until Junmyeon hears Sehun yelling to Jongdae to come see him act stupid on the sidewalk.

He scurries to the front door, out of sight from their apartment windows. Kris laughs at him but gives him a final wave goodbye and pulls away from the curb.

He will never tell Jongdae, Sehun, or Zitao this, but maybe Kris was a good idea after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So heeeere's the next chapter! Thank you all so much for your support and the love you've shown this fic! I love this fic and how silly it is, especially once the rest of the crew are involved, so I hope you like this chapter as much as I did when I wrote it <3
> 
> As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi!](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18)

“How did it go?”

“Holy shit, he’s got money!”

“Did you suck his dick?”

He barely gets the door open before he’s being dragged into the apartment. If he was in a horror movie, this would be the part when the hands of the dead drag him into the underworld to kill him. He almost wishes these hands _did_ belong to the dead. They’d probably be a lot easier to deal with than the demons pulling him in now.

Jongdae kicks the door shut and Sehun pins him to it. By accident, probably. Sehun is too tall for his own good, noodle-looking motherfucker. Jongdae pulls the money out of Junmyeon’s hand on purpose because he knows his own strength and is also an absolute fucking _menace._ Junmyeon would fight him if he wasn’t stuck to the door a la Sehun’s giant, gangly frame.

“Let’s see what you go- _Mother of fuck_ ,” Jongdae screeches and nearly drops the wad of cash on the floor. “This is just twenties! Like a lot of twenties! How much is this? _You didn’t count it?_ ” No, he did not count it. He was a little distracted by Kris’ tongue in his mouth. “Thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty. How much is forty twenties?”

Junmyeon’s face burns and he struggles against Sehun. He’s such a sweet boy, but Junmyeon’s going to have castrate him with his knee if he doesn’t let him up. Sehun leans more heavily on him instead, forcing the air out of his lungs and pissing him the fuck off. The boy turns to stare at Jongdae with exasperation, “Couldn’t you have just, like, counted as you went and not had to do math.”

“Fuck off, you overgrown noodle.”

“You fuck off…cat face.” Weak. Insults in this house have to be good, Sehun knows that. Junmyeon would roast him for it if he could enough air to speak. He tries to cover himself though, change the subject before Jongdae can latch on with his evil claws, “Junmyeon, did you suck his dick? Or did he suck yours? Was there any kind of dicking present?”

It doesn’t work. Not much can distract Jongdae from ridiculing his friends. Junmyeon has learned that on more occasions than he is comfortable admitting to. “Cat face? That’s all you’ve got,” mischief and probably the will of Satan glints in Jongdae’s eyes, “Oh you utter fucking stick bug, you’re as dumb as you are long. It’s not your fault though, your blood has to take so much time circulating through your yardstick legs to get to your brain that there’s barely any oxygen lef- Ow! Fuck, Minseok!”

He walks in like an angel. If angels wore hooded bathrobes and dripped water all over the living room. Minseok smacks Jongdae in the back of head and snatches Kris’ – Junmyeon’s? It is technically his now, isn’t it? – money out of his hands. “Don’t call Sehunnie dumb, you know that really hurts his feelings and it’s his hands-off topic. Apologize. Sehun,” Sehun nods and stares at Minseok with the same little brother hero-worship he’s had since they first met. Junmyeon’s only Minseok’s best friend because Sehun hasn’t decided to rip the title out from under him yet. “Get off of Junmyeon, he can’t breathe when you pin him to the door.”

Minseok, idiot wrangler extraordinaire. Junmyeon would literally die without him. Sehun jumps backwards, apologizing profusely and pulling him into a loose hug. Jongdae grumbles out his own apology but it’s waved off in favor of Sehun wrapping himself around Junmyeon like a face-sucker from _Alien_.

“It’s fine,” Junmyeon wheezes, “was an accident, Sehunnie.”

“‘m still really, really sorry. I just wanted to annoy you, not actually hurt you!” Ah, Sehun, only the noblest of intentions. “Jongdae’s the mean one!”

“Hey,” Jongdae screeches, “I apologized!”

“You still called me dumb. I’m not dumb, I just get confused sometimes.” It really wasn’t kind of him to call Sehun stupid. Junmyeon made sure that was rule number one when they established the rules for making fun of each other. Sehun is just as smart, if not smarter, than everyone in the apartment; he just takes a little longer to reach an answer than the rest of them. He struggles enough with it outside of the house, he doesn’t need those problems following him home.

“Besides,” Sehun mumbles into Junmyeon’s hair – if the sugar daddy thing doesn’t work out he could always get a job as Sehun’s teddy bear. He does it enough for free, might as well get paid for it. “I never talk about _your_ hands-off thing.” Junmyeon watches Jongdae go white and ball up his fists like he’s about to beat Sehun into a pulp. He’d do it too. Too much anger and too small of a body to hold it all in.

Minseok scoffs and starts peeling Sehun off of Junmyeon. He really doesn’t know what he’d do without Minseok. Maybe spend the rest of his life as an unpaid cuddle toy. “Jongdae doesn’t have a hands-off topic. It isn’t in the rule book or on the fridge. I would know, I’m in charge of both of them.”

“It’s a secre- Junmyeon, don’t pinch me! I let you go!” Sehun is a sweet boy that Junmyeon would go to the ends of the Earth for, but he’s a _whiny brat_ too. Not as whiny as Jongdae, but still pretty fucking whiny.

Junmyeon pinches him again for good measure anyway. “If it’s a secret, then _keep it_ a secret.” Everyone knows about Jongdae’s ‘secret’. Everyone including Minseok, to an extent. Minseok looks a little hurt but doesn’t press Sehun for more information.

Good. If he did, Sehun would spill all the times Jongdae’s come to them both to whine about how beautiful Minseok is, how smart he is, how he helps Jongdae through his moods. Jongdae’s had a crush on Minseok for as long as Junmyeon as known him. He refuses to say anything because he thinks Minseok’s too good for him. True, to an extent, but still fucking ridiculous because Jongdae’s a catch. But it’s not his secret to tell. Not Sehun’s either, though Sehun is like a leaky faucet when it comes to classified information. He still doesn’t know his own social security number because his mother is scared he’ll tell it to a fucking stranger on the bus.

“Twenty times forty is eight hundred,” Junmyeon attempts to pull the conversation away from the elephant in the room, crafted out of love letters Jongdae never got the guts to actually to give to Minseok. “So I have eight hundred – I have _eight hundred dollars?”_ He grabs the money from Minseok and stumbles to the kitchen, slapping them down in stacks as he counts it himself. No way. No fucking way. There is no way Kris gave him _eight hundred dollars_ to go to dinner with him.

But there it is. Eight stacks of five twenty-dollar bills. Eight hundred US dollars sitting on their kitchen counter. “Holy shit,” he whispers. His part of the rent for the next two months is right here, front of his very eyes. “There’s no way Kris actually meant to give me this much. He must have grabbed more than he thought.”

As if summoned, his phone buzzes in his pocket.

**Mr. Wu:**

_Was $800 enough? If not, give me an estimate of how much you will need._

Or Kris did mean to give him this much and is just fucking _crazy_. Likely, considering he thinks Junmyeon’s awful jokes are charming.

Minseok sidles up beside him, whistling low as he takes in the text on Junmyeon’s phone and the money. “I was going to ask if you had a nice time,” he says, “but I think this answers that.” He pats him on the head, sleeve of his bathrobe a little damp when it brushes against his face. It’s an odd thing to notice, but if Junmyeon actually focuses on the money and the fact that Kris thinks he might need _more_ , his head might actually explode.

“But was he nice to you? Like actually nice and not just ‘oh he wasn’t a creep’ nice. If he wasn’t, tell him to fuck off. The money isn’t that important and I can see talk to my boss about finding an opening for you at The El Dorado.” Like Minseok hasn’t tried to get him a job at The El Dorado a billion times already. No one ever quits there though. And even when they do finally quit, Junmyeon’s usually already found another shitty job.

“He laughed at my Met Gala joke.”

“The godawful one? You _did not_ tell that fucking joke on your first date with your potential sugar daddy,” Minseok turns to stare at him with undisguised horror in his eyes. Junmyeon nods. “And he laughed?”

“Uh-huh.”

Minseok pulls at the hood of his bathrobe until it covers his face and sighs into the fabric. “Then I guess he’s nice. No one who’s not a genuinely decent person would fake a laugh at that joke, even if it was just to make you feel better.” Junmyeon scoffs and smacks him in the arm. Kris did not fake laugh! He real laughed! And his jokes are _hilarious_.

“Damn, Junmyeon,” Jongdae and Sehun finally stop squabbling about – who know what they’re arguing about at this point? All they do is argue. Jongdae looks between the money and Junmyeon’s phone, text hidden behind a black screen now. There are some people that are just painfully obvious. Jongdae is one of them. It’s like an actual light bulb appears over his head, one of the non-energy efficient ones that have maybe a month of life in them from the start. “Maybe I should look into this sugar daddy business. I’m cute, and flirty, and it’s not like I’ve got any romantic prospects on the horizon.”

Junmyeon remembers why Jongdae never told Minseok that he liked him – he’s a fucking moron. It’s also the reason that Minseok won’t tell Jongdae that he’s fallen in love with him over the past few years. Jongdae says shit like this to see if Minseok will call him out on it, make some sort of move because he’s obviously too fucking scared to do it on his own, and all it does is tear at Minseok’s heart little-by-little. Minseok has known about Jongdae’s feelings for months. To an extent. All it takes for Sehun to spill his guts is a little vodka and some throwaway comments about how Minseok feels like no one will ever love him like that. Of course, Sehun only knew that Jongdae had a _thing_ for Minseok then, not that he’s head-over-heels, the sun shines out of his ass in love.

For someone so tall, Sehun has the alcohol tolerance of a mouse. For someone so angelic looking, Minseok is a manipulative demon.

Junmyeon stays out of it all. Minseok says Jongdae is an immature little jerk that will just break his heart in the end and so he lets the boy chip away at his heart instead. It’s fucking ridiculous because Jongdae is a jerk, yes, but he’s a devoted, loving jerk that would jump off the roof of the apartment building if he thought it would give him a chance with Minseok. Arguing with Minseok is like arguing with a fucking camel though, so Junmyeon just sits back and watches as Jongdae shoves his feet in his mouth up to the knees.

Minseok’s face falls and he stomps out of the kitchen to his and Jongdae’s shared bedroom and slams the door shut so hard Junmyeon winces and says a prayer for the doorframe. Jongdae’s face falls too, though he just chews at his lower lip and manfully holds back tears.

One day, he’s going to hand this problem over to Zitao and let him lock them in a room together to work out their problems. But that has to wait until he has somewhere to hide all his valuables. Even if it all goes well – _especially_ if it all goes well, because then Jongdae will have unlimited access to poison Minseok with his evil ways – Junmyeon will probably find his bed superglued to the ceiling.

Junmyeon circles over to where Sehun is awkwardly patting Jongdae on the shoulder in comfort. “Go knock on Chanyeol and Soo’s door, okay, Sehunnie? Tell them to come by and make sure the oven is ready for Kyungsoo to put it to work. I’m gonna get a shower and go check on Minnie.” Sehun nods and scuttles away to go do as he’s told because he works hard to maintain his title of Junmyeon’s Favorite Child.

“And you,” Jongdae looks up, eyes teary. It pulls at Junmyeon’s heart; it also makes him want to smack Jongdae with a shoe for causing himself so much pain, “I will once again say that you could make your life so much simpler if you just went, knocked on Minseok’s door, and told him that you love him.” Jongdae glares at him. He tries to help and he gets grouched at in return. No sense of gratitude in this household. “No? Fine. Then stop saying shit like that. You know he cares about you so stop throwing it in his face.”

Jongdae huffs and puffs over to the couch, crossing his arms and pouting at the TV like a child. Not Junmyeon’s problem right now, that can be for Chanyeol to solve. Instead, Junmyeon grabs pajamas from his and Sehun’s room and hurries to the shower before Chanyeol comes over and gets any bright ideas about using their bathroom. It takes forever for the water to cool down after a flush and Junmyeon is not dealing with that tonight.

He pulls his phone out of his discarded pants while he waits for the water to warm and types, deletes, and retypes a message to Kris. Texting has never been this hard before. Why does it feel like he’s writing a term paper he forgot to research now?

**Me:**

_no! it’s more than enough thank you!_

He doesn’t get a response before the water warms, so he ducks under the spray, scrubbing off all the nervous sweat from his date. It only goes icy cold once and Chanyeol yells an apology from the living room when he shrieks. “Soo forgot that all your water is connected! Our bad!” He hates the fucking plumbing in this stupid fucking apartment.

“It’s fine! I’ll be out in a minute!” He has to stick entire face into the spray to keep the shampoo out of his eyes, but he’s fine. He’s perfectly fine. He hates this plumbing so much he would actually fucking fight the pipes if they formed a physical entity. He’d lose because he has tiny bird arms and the pain tolerance of baby mouse, but he’d still fight them.

He finishes his shower and his lizard brain, a dark, dark part of his brain composed entirely of brain cells that sound like Jongdae and Sehun in equal measure, does not go careening into the giant gutter labeled ‘Kiss with Kris.’ Which is a sign that he might actually have killed off all his brain cells because he _never_ gets through anything without his brain turning on him like it’s stuck in a beartrap and he’s the unlucky foot that has to be gnawed off. But it’s a godsend because it means he _does not_ have to deal with an inopportune boner.

It’s probably because he got blasted with water penguins consider chilly. If that’s what it takes to get through a shower without his stupid penis bothering him, he’ll take it. Just not every shower and not for a long time because he’s a baby and doesn’t like the cold.

There’s another message waiting for him when he dries off and manages to pull on pajama pants in the humid bathroom. Putting on pants after a shower should be an acceptable reason to being late to things, double the reason if the pants are jeans. Junmyeon nearly knocks himself out cold on the counter when the fabric sticks to him halfway up his shin before he’s finally clothed and able to type back.

**From: Kris**

_As long as you’re sure. I don’t want you to be left wanting until we see each other again_

_On that note, I had lovely time tonight_

**From: Me**

_it’s fine!!! thank you!! and me too. it was really fun_

**From: Kris**

_Would you like to pick where we go for our next date? I was thinking sometime this weekend_

He wants to see Junmyeon again so soon? Even the normal dates he’s been on don’t usually want to go out again so fast. Not that he doesn’t want to see Kris again, because he does. It’s just a little shocking and nerve-wracking to have someone who, from Zitao’s stories, is supposed to be detached. Sugar daddies – what is Junmyeon supposed to call him if Kris doesn’t like that name? Junmyeon’s the companion so Kris can’t _also_ be the companion.

Semantics. Things he’ll probably have to use the powers of His Lord and Savior Google Christ to find out.

Junmyeon’s a good date planner though. It’s one of his skills, picking out nice places and figuring out how to have a good, romantic time. It’s easier when he knows more about the other person than just their name, age, occupation, and inability to say _bag_ the right way. He _refuses_ to let that go, it’s just ridiculous. And Kris insulted ramen so he’s doing it to avenge the One True Food Group.

**From: Me**

_there’s a coffee shop called The El Dorado that’s pretty neat_

**From: Kris**

_Neat?_

Fire. Hellfire. Someone please chuck him into the garbage where he belongs. All he can think about is that meme Chanyeol sends into the group chat whenever someone makes fun of him for liking _Zootopia_ so much, the one with fucking Marge Simpson and the fucking potatoes.

He dives deep into the dark recesses of his brain for something to help him recover at least a little of the coolness he’s lost by calling something _neat_ in _twenty-fucking-eighteen_. He gets more memes and the distinct urge to call The El Dorado a funky place where all the cool cats hang out. He needs to stop caving in to Kyungsoo and Minseok’s unnatural need to watch John Hughes movies until dawn. He’s started using old slang that’s not even _in those movies_. And he really really wants to adopt a St. Bernard.

**From: Me**

_dont mock me please_

**From: Kris**

_I think it’s cute. Is it a funky place where all the cool cats go hang and jive?_

**From: Me**

_Yes. Yes it is._

**From: Kris**

_Groovy ;)_

_Send me the address and give me a day and time and I’ll meet you there_

Junmyeon walks out of the bathroom fighting a blush and a goofy smile. Seems like he’s not the only one that’s hip to the lingo. Kris is picking up what he’s putting down, one jive turkey, that man is. And now he feels like a parent trying too hard to relate to his teenage children.

Except he would be a _fantastic_ father to his two adopted sons and they would all live in a nice little house that may or may not have some sort of demonic history in a semi-isolated cul-de-sac in the northern Midwest. He just knows it.

Cheery music drifts in from the living room, cut off by screamed swear words every few seconds. Sehun shrieks in joy about a bullet. Jongdae calls Chanyeol an overgrown, turtle shell throwing whore. And Kyungsoo is probably stress-baking batch after batch of cookies because it makes him feel like he has control. As usual. A normal night in the apartment. Except Minseok’s not there to beat them all into the ground and emerge as the one true victor.

Junmyeon shoves his phone into the waistband of his pants, because where else is he going to put it? His underwear? Did that once and it happened to be the only day in history when people _actually_ wanted to talk to him. Worst minute of his life – or best if it goes by Jongdae’s standards. Still, he shoves his phone into the waistband for safekeeping and knocks on Minseok’s door.

“G’way,” Minseok yells, “I’m dying. Or jacking off. Whichever makes you not want to come in.”

“It’s Junmyeon,” he calls back, “I’ve seen your dick and I know CPR.” The door creaks open and Minseok looks out at him pitifully from his white blanket burrito. It’s a lot like talking to an Alaskan bull worm, if Alaskan bull worms had red eyes from holding back tears. Maybe they do. Junmyeon’s never seen a real Alaskan bull worm. “You okay?”

Minseok shrugs, lips twisting into a sad smile. He walks back to his bed and Junmyeon follows him, kicking the door shut as he goes. TVXQ! is humming in the background, the only group Minseok listens to when he’s sad. Or angry. Or happy. Minseok actually only listens to TVXQ! period.

Junmyeon is more of a Red Velvet man himself. But he doesn't mind hearing Changmin go all out in _Mirotic_ if it makes Minseok happy.

So he flops onto the bed beside next to him and rubs his wet hair all over the blanket burrito. Until Minseok whines and tries to kick him with his legs all bound together in the blanket, wiggling an incredibly determined worm. Until they're both giggling and Minseok's cute face isn't as sad.

"You know," Junmyeon says after Minseok tries and fails to braid his hair. He's not growing it out any longer, Minseok can grow his own hair out if he wants to put it in ponytails and braid it. Doesn't matter how much he pouts. "You could tell Jongdae about your feelings. At least put it out there that he's really hurting you when he says shit like this."

Excessive worm wiggling to turn around and face away from Minseok. How is his oldest friend such a _child_? "You could tell Jongdae about your feelings." Junmyeon's voice is _not_ that high. Minseok's just mean when he's upset. "I could shove my heart into a blender and put it on brulee."

"You mean puree?"

Minseok wiggles back around to face him. "You know what I meant."

He does know, of course, but how can he turn down this golden opportunity to make fun of Minseok's mistake? This kind of fuck up doesn't come every day, at least not from Minseok. "I don't think blenders have the ability to burn things... Well, unless we let Jongdae near one. So maybe you just have super special blenders at The El Dorado - that name is so stupid. El is the in Spanish. It's The The Dorado."

"I hate you. You're a menace and I should never have let you meet Jongdae or Chanyeol. They turned my only child into a life-ruiner just like them."

"I'm not a life-ruiner and you know it. I just think you'd be happier if maybe you let Jongdae in. Like really in." Even if it went poorly, at least they'd be able to live without the big What-If following them around like a storm cloud. "And not in in the way that Sehun would mean in. You could, of course, but I think you'd be happier if he you let him in your heart first so you know he'd stick around after he's been in your ass - don't hit me!"

Junmyeon rolls off the bed when Minseok starts shrieking and wrestling his way out of the blanket burrito to beat him senseless. "You are _horrible!"_ But he's laughing. They're both cackling even as Junmyeon has to defend himself from a barrage of pillow smacks to the face. "I can't believe you! You've been a horrible monster before, but this is really taking it to the extreme."

"You deserve a heart nut," Junmyeon wheezes between words, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, " _and_ a nut nut."

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Myeon, I really really am." But then Minseok gets all the way back on the bed and holds out a hand for Junmyeon to join him. They settle back on the bed together, no blanket to stop them from cuddling.

It's just what they've always done, wrapping around each for comfort, for warmth, because it helps to feel loved like that. Today, Junmyeon pulls Minseok against his chest and gives him all the love he can. Mentally beating him over the head with it like Minseok is a whack-a-mole that has personally victimized him.

"Hey."

"Yeah," Junmyeon asks.

"I can't believe you think Jongdae likes to top." And they burst into laughter again. "I've seen his toy collection. He's a bottom _and_ a size queen." For all that is holy and good in the world. There are some things Junmyeon doesn't need to know. Namely, Jongdae's sexual preferences. They laugh and laugh and laugh until Minseok sighs. Junmyeon watches him chew on his bottom lip for a moment and then stare up at the ceiling, eyes turning shiny in the moonlight shining through the useless curtains. “I-I could be enough for him.”

“You would be – _are_ more than enough,” and it feels a little weird because he knows Minseok means more than just his dick but also Junmyeon knows through no fault of his own that his best friend is _packing._ “Any guy would be lucky to have you. Or for you to have him. Whatever.” Minseok laughs. Tears still leak out of the corners of his eyes, but he laughs.

Silence stretches on, Minseok’s laptop dying somewhere between songs. Noise filters in through the locked door, Chanyeol and Jongdae yelling until they’re too loud for Kyungsoo and the terrifying, sweet but terrifying, little man yells at them to shut up. And then it’s just Minseok’s breathing. It’s just them, the dark, and their thoughts. Two of Junmyeon’s worst fears. But he’ll suffer them for Minseok.

The kitchen timer goes off and Kyungsoo knocks on the door, all soft voice as he asks if they want cookies or brownies or brookies – he must’ve been too stressed to decide what to make.

“Keep some hidden for us,” he asks, “we’ll come get some later.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo calls back. And then, quieter, “I’m here for you if you need me, either of you.” He doesn’t wait for a response, footsteps thumping down the hall. Kyungsoo is possibly the kindest person Junmyeon’s ever met. A plate of baked goods will probably end up sliding to them under the door in a few minutes, a tiny drawing of Kyungsoo round-housing Jongdae into a swamp stuck to the plate. Or a tiny drawing of Minseok and Jongdae getting married with a tiny Kyungsoo standing as flower boy, whatever fits the atmosphere radiating through the door best.

If it’s the wedding one Junmyeon’s going to have to have a talk with Kyungsoo. Growing up with florist parents does _not_ mean he gets to be the flower boy at every wedding. Junmyeon is just as cute and would make an excellent flower boy. As would Sehun, because he’s the baby and they could probably get him to wear a dress and flower crown if they asked nicely enough.

“Hey.” Minseok turns to look at him and his heart hurts at the sadness welling up behind his best friend’s eyes. “I have some good news.”

“Your sugar daddy has a friend that’s looking for a twunk with extensive knowledge of how to and how not to stick things in your various orifices?”

“No – what? What the fuck? Don’t call yourself a twunk, you weirdo.” His friends are so goddamn weird. Minseok especially. It’s a silent but deadly weird. He seems so normal and then you’re his friend and he’s telling you all about the dangers of vaginal prolapsing that he read about on four in the morning sadness Wikipedia binge. “I wanted to say that I have another date with Kris this weekend. Saturday, probably. And I get to pick the place so…”

Minseok doesn’t even need a heartbeat to finish that sentence. As expected, they’ve been friends for so long they should be able to and have communicated through solely nostril flares. “I get to subtly judge him from afar and make him uncomfortable? And then introduce myself as your best friend so that he knows you have a very strong and very dedicated twunk in your corner if he ever hurts you?”

“Wait, woah, I was just gonna bring him to The El Dorado so you could subtly judge him! Not all that other stuff! And stop calling yourself a twunk-”

“This is going to be great. I’ve gotta go make sure Kyungsoo and I are there when you two show up.” Minseok jumps out of bed and runs out the door before Junmyeon can grab him. “Soo! Soo! I have _amazing_ news!” Minseok and Kyungsoo start cackling from the kitchen, discussing how to best approach a sugar daddy in his unnatural habitat. “We get to mess with Junmyeon! We get to mess with Junmyeon!”

At least it got him out of bed and took his mind off Jongdae. Junmyeon wraps himself in the blanket and shoves his head under the pillow. He did what he came in here to do; he made Minseok happy again. And yet it feels like a black cloud of doom and unplanned interference from all of his friends is hanging over his head. Probably because there is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Junmyeon?” God has forsaken him. He – or she, he’s still not sure about that one – has left him on earth to suffer under the wrath of Jongdae and Sehun and Minseok. And Kris, apparently. He turns and tries to give him his best smile, but Minseok’s still got ahold of his face. Junmyeon can feel his face going from moderately cute to late stage Picasso, not to mention the burning heat rushing to his cheeks. Kris does his best not to laugh at him, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thank you so much for all the support you've given this story so far! I'm so happy you all enjoy this and I hope you continue to enjoy it as it goes on!
> 
> For all my Chansoo friends, I started a fest: [Oh Lovely Day](https://twitter.com/lovelydayfest?lang=en) fic fest. Prompting started today, so please be sure to leave some prompts! 
> 
> As always, a big thanks to [Aarushi!](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18) the best beta in the whole wide world <3

“Do you think he’s gonna be early?”

“If he’s invested in this he will be. He has his own car.”

“Yeah, but he probably has no idea where this place even is. We are literally a hole in the wall.”

Junmyeon smacks his head into his table over and over. First Sehun tells him that the sweater he picked out – his favorite fucking sweater – makes him look like the Ultimate Twink and now this. Minseok and Kyungsoo are watching him from behind the counter, whispering _very loudly_ about how they think this date is going to go. They’ve already discussed what they think he’ll wear, what he’ll order. He should have known there was some sort of evil motive when they offered to give him a ride.

“Please stop talking about it,” he whines, “he’ll get here when he gets here! And you two are stressing me out.”

“Hush,” Minseok comes around and flicks him in the ear, sliding a muffin onto the table in front of him. “You knew this is what we would do. Scorpion and the frog, my sweet little rabbit child. Eat your muffin.” So he does, because Kyungsoo is in charge of baking today and he makes the best muffins and he’ll be damned if he misses out. “And yes, Kyungsoo used milk chocolate chips just for you.”

“Kyungsoo is my new best friend. He loves me and makes me muffins. Ow! Don’t flick me in the ear!” Minseok flicks him again for good measure and then pinches his cheek. “Soo, help! Minseok is bullying me!”

Kyungsoo brings him a napkin. Just a napkin. Asshole. “Cry about it, sweet little rabbit child,” he says as he pats Junmyeon on the head. Friendship with Kyungsoo ended, Minseok is once again his best friend. Or maybe Sehun is his new best friend; Sehun doesn’t bully him like this.

“I’m older than you!”

“Physically, yes. Mentally, I am older than every single one of you. Minseok included.” Kyungsoo walks back to the counter with a cackle and a smug skip in his step. Because Junmyeon and Minseok can’t argue that point with him. Minseok licked a freezing pole last winter and got his tongue stuck because he’d never seen _A Christmas Story_ and didn’t think that it would _actually_ happen. Junmyeon got too close while he was laughing and then managed to get his tongue stuck too. Kyungsoo freed them both and then made them hot chocolate.

Funniest day of his life. They made it into the campus paper, pictures of them stuck to the pole and everything.

The little bell above the door rings and Junmyeon and Minseok freeze in place, Minseok’s hand still pinching his cheek and wiggling his face back and forth. “For all that is good and holy please tell me that’s not Kris.”

“Junmyeon?” God has forsaken him. He – or she, he’s still not sure about that one – has left him on earth to suffer under the wrath of Jongdae and Sehun and Minseok. And Kris, apparently. He turns and tries to give him his best smile, but Minseok’s still got ahold of his face. Junmyeon can _feel_ his face going from moderately cute to late stage Picasso, not to mention the burning heat rushing to his cheeks. Kris does his best not to laugh at him, at least.

“Holy shit,” Minseok hisses in his ear, “he’s _hot_.”

“Please let go of my face,” he hisses back. Minseok swears and jumps back before scurrying off to the counter. “Oh, uh, hi, Kris.” Ah, voice cracks, he thought he left those in puberty.

Now what should Junmyeon do? Does he stand up and give Kris a hug? Does he run in the opposite direction because Kris just saw him getting his cheeks pinched like a little baby? Does he run in the opposite direction just because it sounds like a good choice?

He doesn’t get the chance to make a decision because Kris settles in the seat across from him, even more handsome in the daylight. "Do you know the man who was grabbing your face," Kris asks as he reaches across the little table to take Junmyeon's hand in his own, "because I watched from outside for a moment and I was a little worried you were being harassed."

Oh, he sure as fuck _was_ being harassed. He's always being harassed because he is solely friends with demonic entities walking the Earth. But, "Yeah, no, that's my best friend. He and another one of my best friends work here. He just likes to mess with me."

"I'm going to guess your other friend is the one staring at me from behind the pastry case," Kris asks and Junmyeon nods. He doesn't even have to look, he can just feel Kyungsoo's Gaze of Judgement just barely passing by his head. "Alright. Can I expect to be judged on the coffee I order?"

"Maybe? I don't know... Do you want part of my muffin? The guy watching you from behind the pastries made it and it's really good." That sounds really fucking weird out loud. It sounded weird in his head too, but it sounds _really_ weird coming out of his mouth. But Kris takes a piece of muffin anyway, and his eyes do this little crinkling thing in the corners.

"It is good, thank you. I see why all the cool cats come here to get funky." Junmyeon has to resist the extreme urge to bury his face in his hands and scream. Kris is just being cute. He can't be making fun of Junmyeon when he was just as lame over text, but it still makes him want to scream in embarrassment. "Have you already ordered yourself a drink?"

He shakes his head. He'd been waiting for Kris because if he had gotten himself coffee he would've chugged it and then entered a caffeine-induced trance. Or started bouncing off the walls until Minseok was forced to sit on him to make him stop. Not like it hasn’t happened before

Kris squints at the menu, "What would you like? I don't think they have soup." Rude. Does he just attract people that mock him? Is that his superpower? It would be a really, really shitty superpower. But they also kind of have their own inside joke now and that makes something warm and fluttery jump in his stomach. "Are you a black coffee sort of guy? Or a fra- what is a mocha-choca-latte-ya-ya?"

"Free your Lady Marmalade," Minseok and Kyungsoo sing. Junmyeon smiles and rolls his eyes. They only have to sing it when someone orders it, not that they follow that rule. Chanyeol is the only one who orders it regularly, and that's more because he loves to hear Kyungsoo nail all of Christina Aguilera's parts than because he loves the drink.

Kris' mouth falls open and heaves a deep breath. "I really hope that's not what you drink," he laughs, "because it says on the menu that they'll sing the whole thing if you order it.”

Junmyeon did actually try it once, when they first put the drink on the menu. He's pretty sure he got like seven cavities from the first sip alone. It's delicious but obnoxiously sweet. "I usually just get the hot chocolate."

And then Kris is standing up and heading to the counter. Alone. Unguarded. To where Minseok and Kyungsoo are. Junmyeon whirls around his seat to watch Kris, internally flinching when Minseok appears next to the cash register.

"I would like one medium hot chocolate and a... green tea frappuccino?"

"Of course, sir." Minseok actually sounds polite, customer service smile and voice perfect. "That'll be six fifty-seven. Thank you very much, sir. Kyungsoo will have your drinks up in just a moment." Kris takes his card back and walks over to where Kyungsoo is already finished with the hot chocolate. When he moves away, Minseok meets Junmyeon's gaze - _there's_ the evil he was expecting.

Kris is back at the table moments later. "Here you go," he says as he hands him the hot chocolate, "your friends are very nice. Much better than my friends would be if the situations were reversed." _Nice,_ nice like those creepy Siamese cats from _Lady and the Tramp_. Kris takes a sip of his frappuccino, “I like your sweater. It looks very… cute on you.”

“Oh, uh, thank you. You look nice too.” Junmyeon smiles behind his drink. He sounded like an idiot, but Kris thinks he looks _cute_. And not twinkish – maybe, Kris might think he does and is just not telling him to save face. He’ll take it, he’ll take it anyday. And holy fucking shit that was actually one of the most twinkish things he’s ever thought.

Death is coming for him and it will not be sweet or merciful.

“Did you have a good week,” he asks as a way to hopefully take his mind off of his own failures as a human being. He probably wouldn’t be this way if he had normal friends. But he probably wouldn’t have nearly as much fun in life either. “Like after our last date and before this one? And that time period was implied, wasn’t it?” Does his mouth just not work anymore? Is that just what happens to him now?

And why does Kris smile and chuckle like he thinks it’s cute? “My life between our last date and now has been _busy_. Winter is actually a hellish nightmare in the fashion world. I look over designs from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep. I dream about coats now.” Junmyeon cringes. Fashion has never been his strong point, as shown by his large collection of sweaters and sweatshirts and his singular suit. Kris nods, “Exactly. I have been looking forward to this immensely. But what about you? Any stories from class?”

“No,” he replies, “not really. My roommates and I’ve all got a lot of projects coming up so that’s what we’ve been focusing on. It’s just been kinda busy.” Busy as fuck, to be exact. Jongdae has fallen asleep on the living room floor three times in the past four days, working on lyrics for his vocal music class. And Junmyeon forgot to eat lunch yesterday and started gnawing on his textbooks for nourishment.

He fucking _hates_ projects. He’s a literature major; he knows how to write a paper, not create a PowerPoint kissing Hemingway’s ass.

“I’m sure you’ll do fantastic. Just remember to take care of yourself.” Kris grabs his hand again and it seems like it’s just a force of habit. Maybe he’s just a hand-holding guy. Everyone’s got their thing that they like to do. Chanyeol literally can’t stop himself from giving Kyungsoo back hugs, it’s why Kyungsoo always makes sure he has something solid behind him. “I passed out mid-final my senior year because I was trying to juggle school, my work at the company, and volunteering at an animal shelter.”

“How did you manage all that?”

Kris snorts. “Well, I didn’t. I fainted in the middle of a final.” Oh yeah. That was a dumb question. Junmyeon feels his cheeks turn red again. He loves being awful at speaking. It’s just the best. “But I’ve learned since then,” Kris says, “I take time to take care of myself and have fun. As much as I can, at least.”

“I have fun too! My roommates and I went to Burger King on Friday and got sixty nuggets for ten dollars. And that sounded cooler in my head.” But Kris doesn’t stop smiling. He just shakes his head and takes another sip of his drink. “It was a good deal, at least. And we got a lot of extra sauce packets because the staff couldn’t figure out how many to give us.”

"So you enjoy terrorizing poor fast food workers?"

Junmyeon's jaw drops. He knows Kris is just messing with him. He _knows._ But he will _not_ be lumped with the actual people who threaten to call corporate or throw chairs. He has been one of those poor fast food workers. Sixty nuggets is _far_ from terrorizing. Back in high school he once had a woman demand to speak to the manager; he was the manager. "Have you ever worked in fast food?" Kris shakes his head. "We said please and thank you and didn't scream at them. We were model customers."

"Is working in the service industry that bad?"

"Yes. It's fucking horrible. Food service is a nightmare. I never want to work in it again." His heart can't take it anymore. Maybe The El Dorado wouldn't be too bad. Kyungsoo works here and he's got a horrific temper so it can't be as bad as McDonald's.

"Good thing you don't have to then," Kris says. And oh, yeah, this right here is his job now. He won't have to work at a shitty restaurant with shitty customers for the foreseeable future. He just smiles and nods and drinks more of the hot chocolate that Kris bought him. They fall into silence, Kris rubbing his thumb over Junmyeon's knuckles.

Junmyeon takes the moments of silence to get a really good look at the man across from him. He's handsome, of course, Kris would be handsome even in pitch black darkness. But Kris looks exhausted. There are the hints of bags under his eyes and it doesn't seem like he takes as good of care of himself as he says he does. Or maybe he's just _really_ busy now. Either way, Junmyeon feels a little bad that Kris had to drive all the way over here on his day off just to see him. Junmyeon could've easily just taken the bus if Kris wanted to be closer to his apartment.

The silence lasts until they finish their drinks and Kris looks a little more awake than before. Not a whole lot, like maybe going from a seven to a five on the sleepy scale. "Are you okay," Junmyeon asks, "You seem really tired."

"Oh," Kris jerks to a one on the sleepy scale but like a six on the surprised scale, "I'm fine. This week has been busier than most. But don't worry about me, I'm very happy to be here with you. I've been looking forward to it."

Junmyeon smiles and squirms a little in his seat. Kris has been looking forward to see him. He's pretty fucking cool, isn't he? A real cool cat, a funk master.

No, not a funk master. Being a funk master is not cool and Junmyeon is trying to not be not cool. Sometimes his own thought patterns confuse him.

"I've been looking forward to seeing you too. And so have Minseok and Kyungsoo," Junmyeon motions to where Kyungsoo and Minseok are attempting to inconspicuously clean tables near them and failing.

Kris smiles and his eyebrows raise as the two snicker and scurry back to the counter. "They seem to really care about you. It's very sweet and I would enjoy watching them try to spy on our date very much, but if you remember from our date on Tuesday, we have something to talk about.” Or they could avoid it and discuss how Junmyeon’s friends are well-meaning and terrifying. It’s just a suggestion. "Are you sure eight hundred is enough? I don't want you to feel stressed or undervalued."

"I'm sure," Junmyeon enters the realm of dog toys, where he can only talk in squeaks, "it's fine!" Kris laughs with his whole body and tries to cover his mouth to hide his smile. Which kinda sucks because Junmyeon thinks he has a really nice smile. "It was way more than I had expected, actually."

"I'd feel better if you let me give you nine hundred a week.” Let? _Let?_ Junmyeon has to check that he’s not turning monochromatic. Kris keeps on talking, unaware that there is the chance Rod Serling is narrating how they’ve somehow stumbled into the Twilight Zone.

“I have a pretty good idea of what rent is like in your neighborhood and while I know you have roommates, I want to make sure you have spending money _and_ something to put into savings." Junmyeon doesn't know how to react. His heart and stomach are doing some crazy shit and his cheeks feel a little warm. It's so sweet it kind of hurts because _nine hundred dollars a week?_ "I like to take care of people. If you're going to offer me your time and company then I want to make sure that you are adequately compensated."

"That's a lot of money," Junmyeon says, "like _a lot_. I'm not entirely sure what I'll be doing is worth that much."

And Kris simply shrugs, "To me it is. I enjoy your company and I think you are worth a lot more. I worry that you'll fight me on it if I try to give you more though, so I'll settle at nine hundred a week." Settling at nine hundred a week, how diplomatic of him. Truly a pinnacle of compromise. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to have your account number by the end of the week to set up the direct deposit. You walking around with that much cash makes me a little nervous."

"I can do that. I'll have to go digging in my room to find it though, so it might not be till later tonight. I think my checkbook was used as a projectile in the last blanket fort war." Because that's a normal thing twenty-year-olds do. It probably is actually. Kids his age are sad and have to take pleasure in the small things in life. "It's normal, I promise – I think. Just a thing we do sometimes after someone has a big exam."

"I like it," Kris smiles until the corner of his eyes crinkle and Junmyeon's heart does a weird little _swooshk_ because he's so damn handsome. "Could we have a blanket fort war sometime? I think my apartment might allow for guerilla tactics." If this thing lasts for a while, he's going to take Kris up on that and bring his friends over. Except they might actually kill Kris in the heat of the moment. Little monsters.

"You seem much more relaxed now."

He feels much more relaxed now too. Maybe it's the fact that he knows Minseok and Kyungsoo are right there if something goes wrong. Maybe it's because Kris isn't a _total_ stranger. Either way, he feels _infinitely_ better than he did on the first date. “Not as intimidated as before.”

“Am I that intimidating,” Kris asks. And his head tilts to the side a little and Junmyeon _refuses_ to think that’s cute. That’s a fucking lie, it’s adorable. What is it with tall people and being adorable? It’s not fair, they shouldn’t be allowed to be cute too, that’s what short people are supposed have in return for not being able to reach things. “I wasn’t trying to be, I promise.”

“It wasn’t _you_ ,” he says. Like a liar. “It was the suit and being in, uh, a really nice place, I think.”

“Way out of your comfort zone, right? This seems like a bit more in your element.” Junmyeon smiles. It should, he fed the owners suggestions through Minseok and Kyungsoo. The bits of metallic-y gold and silver shining between the pastels were his idea. He puffs up in pride a little when he hears anyone compliment the décor. Except for the one guy who said the gold and silver was tacky. He can choke.

"I especially love the way the metallic accents break up the pastels. I think it could have used more, honestly." Does this qualify as dirty talk? It should, because that was possibly the sexiest thing anyone's ever said to him in the history of his entire life. Junmyeon waits for Kris to turn, pointing out the metal hexagonal clock on the wall that he apparently really admires, and squirms in his seat. He feels a little like a peacock, puffing up in pride.

Or maybe like a really sad college student in need of validation. Both are very likely and very similar.

"I picked them out," he does _not_ giggle. He just says it very quickly with a high-pitched lilt.

Kris turns back with one eyebrow perfectly arched, "Really?" His mouth twitches in a half-smile half-smirk monster and Junmyeon recoils a little. He doesn't like the sound of that _really_. It reminds him of when Chanyeol was trying to ask Kyungsoo on a date and suggested an ice skating rink because Kyungsoo reminded him of a penguin. They went on the date, obviously, but Chanyeol avoids penguins like the plague to this day. Junmyeon would like to not have a pathological fear of metallic colors or The El Dorado.

"The way you smiled when I complimented them surely did _not_ give it away or anything." Nope. No pathological fear, just his face feeling like it's going to spontaneously combust and Kris laughing at him. Makes sense, his life is just one long stream of suffering. "It was very cute, Junmyeon. And I meant it. You have a good sense of colors for design."

"Thanks," Junmyeon mumbles into his hands. Very sweet that Kris thinks he's cute, still horrifically embarrassing. "I like decorating." Like is a bit of an understatement. Minseok takes Sehun and hides in the library whenever Halloween comes around because Junmyeon is "out of control" and "a tyrant" and "needs to stop abusing Sehun's need to be the favorite child and forcing him to help you decorate".

Kris tugs his hands away from his face. "You're good at it. Don't be embarrassed about being good at something and enjoying praise." Kris links their fingers together over the table and looks him in the eye. Junmyeon tries to avoid it because Kris hasn't stopped being intimidating and the man makes _intense_ eye contact.

Kris can probably see into his soul and into every past life he's ever had with those eyes. It's terrifying. And moderately impressive.

For a few minutes, Kris tries to follow his gaze, both of them bobbing and weaving around in their seats. Kyungsoo and Minseok are cackling behind them but Junmyeon doesn't give a fuck. He's laughing too. Kris is just so _determined_ to make eye contact. He's got his jaw set and his brows furrowed and he acts like he's trying to predict which way Junmyeon's going to bob. He knows Minseok is getting a video of this - if he didn't get video evidence whenever Junmyeon's being an idiot, he just wouldn't be Minseok. It's their test to figure out if he's been replaced by a CIA murderbot.

And finally Kris huffs and lets go of one of his hands to fit two fingers under his chin to keep him still. Junmyeon's jaw drops because holy shit he just discovered a new kink. Does it count as a kink? He's asked Jongdae about the exact definition of _kink_ before, but it seems pretty fluid. So this is a new kink. Great. Awesome. Just what he needs on a Saturday afternoon in a public coffee shop.

"I'm being serious," Kris says, "I didn't mean to embarrass you. Though I think you were trying to embarrass me. I would very much appreciate it if your friend only sends that video to you. I enjoy living life without the press sticking their noses into the more private aspects of it."

Kris is smiling again, amusement crystal clear in the upturn of his lips. There's seriousness there too though; Kris has an actual image. Junmyeon feels a cold pit of shame start to form in his gut. A video of him being silly in a coffee shop isn't the issue, it's _who_ he's being silly with. Being caught with a sugar baby – under the name _companion_ or not – is an issue for him.

"Yeah," Junmyeon agrees, "Minseok won't send it to anyone if I ask him not to."

"Good. If evidence of my stupidity is going to be caught on tape, I'd like to go to someone special enough to truly appreciate it as the art it is. And someone who's too sweet to use it as blackmail later."

Kris lets Junmyeon's chin go and he drops his gaze to where they're still holding hands. Kris is rubbing his thumb against Junmyeon's again. Back and forth and back and forth across the knuckle. He grabs the other hand too and Kris seems perfectly happy to just hold his hands. That's what it seems like when Junmyeon looks up, at least.

Piano music starts up on the speakers, one of the songs Sehun's internet friend composed and sent to him as part of their weird courting ritual that they've been doing for the past few months. The two of them and Lay's real life boyfriend.

"I love this song," he and Kris say in unison. How does Kris know this song? Lay says that he never uploads his music to any websites; that Sehun is the only person he's ever sent a song to. Junmyeon hopes that's true and Lay's not playing him. Because Junmyeon's going to have to go to jail if Sehun's heart gets broken.

"A friend of mine composed this," Kris hums and stares at Junmyeon like he's trying to read his mind. Which he might be doing. That stare is still uncomfortably intense. "I didn't know he'd started uploading them." Oh, Kris knows Lay. And that's a little weird. Kris is a rich guy who probably only knows other rich men who are probably not the young, handsome man that has sent numerous selfies and voice chats with Sehun twice a week.

Junmyeon's going to jail. Sehun's probably getting catfished and Junmyeon's going to go down for aggravated assault. Still Junmyeon doesn't say anything. He'd rather tell Kris that either someone's stealing one of his friend's songs or that one of his friends is a catfish and going to be beaten with a bat after he's gotten to know him a bit better.

"You remember how we talked about rules?" Junmyeon startles. Too lost in a daydream of kicking the unknown catfish's ass. But he does remember. How could he not? Kris had just been perfectly okay with Junmyeon not wanting to have sex, kind of wet dream – except not wet, so a dry dream? A dream that made him very happy and a little turned on but without any sex.

He confuses himself sometimes.

“Well, I have another that I’d like to ask of you. I think it’s pretty standard but I’d still like to make it clear,” Kris smiles a little sheepishly but doesn’t let go of his hands, “I want this to be exclusive. On both ends.” Oh. That’s easy. Exclusive is his middle name. Not really, because his parents are from Korea and don’t believe in middle names. And he likes the idea of having Kris as his own, in a way. There won’t be any boyfriend or girlfriend walking in or getting upset that he’s Kris’ date.

He just nods and smiles, "Makes sense. It'd be a little weird to be, uh, in this kind of relationship with you and be seeing someone else, for me at least." Zitao's apparently had boyfriends and sugar daddies at the same time and Junmyeon won't judge a second of it, but Zitao also admits that he isn't one to get heavily invested in others without a lot evidence that they're worth the effort. Junmyeon is like a sloth, clingy and slow to let go of his branches. That kind of arrangement just wouldn't work for him.

Kris relaxes back into his chair and smiles with his teeth. Junmyeon really hadn't even noticed how tense the man was until he relaxed. Maybe it's a CEO thing, being really good at hiding stress and nerves.

It could also just be a part of who Kris is. If his little speech about accepting praise is in any hint, Junmyeon would say that Kris takes self-confidence and self-esteem _very_ seriously. It's cute; everyone Junmyeon knows is drowning in their own insecurities because they're young and searching for validation they can't get back home. Kris just seems to validate himself.

Kris' phone rings as he's opening his mouth to say something else. "Fuck," Kris swears and pulls his phone out, begging it to stop ringing, "What on Earth could you need from me at noon on a Saturday, Irene? Oh... oh shit. I'll be right there, tell Seulgi that I know it wasn't her fault and that we'll figure out what happened." Kris puts the phone down and sighs into his hands.

Junmyeon misses having them in his own. It feels a little wrong to _not_ be holding them at this point.

But Kris is standing up and apologizing over and over and that takes a little more precedence over Junmyeon being a baby about wanting affection. "I'm so, so sorry, Junmyeon. Truly, I am. One of my designers was walking to put her newest designs on my desk and another employee ran into her and spilled coffee all over the designs. They're ruined and from what I had seen of her first drafts, they were going to be gorgeous; she is upset, understandably so."

And so Kris, the CEO enjoying one of his few days off, is running into work to comfort her. Junmyeon's stomach does an uncomfortable little flip. Is this just how he is? This weirdly considerate person? "I understand. You gotta take care of your people, right," Junmyeon stares at Kris' chin and tries to push down all the gross butterflies trying to take wing in his stomach.

"Right," Kris leans down and tips Junmyeon's chin up and that is probably edging into real kink territory now. A place where no Junmyeon has gone before. "I'll make it up to you though, for ending our date so early. I promise. Can I kiss you?" Junmyeon nods dumbly and is very, very glad Kris' fingers are not anywhere near his pulse points because his heart is _hammering_ in his chest.

Kris kisses him slowly, sweetly. A different kiss from Tuesday night but still enough to get him all turned around and mixed up inside. Junmyeon nearly chases after him when he pulls back but stops himself by the skin of his teeth; Minseok and Kyungsoo are probably watching like voyeuristic monsters and the last thing he needs is those two making up stories about how he's needy.

He is needy. He'll admit it. That doesn't mean he wants everyone else to know it though.

"Goodbye, Junmyeon! Goodbye, Junmyeon's friends," Kris calls as he leaves, "Thank you for the lovely service and I hope to be introduced to you properly next time. Have a wonderful day, Junmyeon, I'll text you about the possibility of you coming over sometime this week, alright?" The door swings shut and Kris waves goodbye to him through the windows as he's walking away.

And Junmyeon wonders if it's normal to wave at someone even when they can't see him anymore. Not that he'll ever ask.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris starts laughing though. He laughs with his entire body until he has to let go to wipe away the laughing tears. "It-it's not the size of shark. It's how you use it." Junmyeon hates it. It's awful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone please take creative control over this fic AWAY from ME. I made a shark dick joke....I need to be thrown in jail and never allowed to see the light of day again a;lkjsdfa;ldjf
> 
> Anyway! As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi!](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18?lang=en) You're the best beta in the world and I hope you do well on your next exams!!
> 
> And~ please don't forget about the fic fest I am running. It's called the [Oh Lovely Day fest](https://twitter.com/lovelydayfest?lang=en)! It's Chansoo-centric aned prompting ends tonight at midnight! It's so close to 100 prompts! Please help it get there~

"You gotta cut around the corner! You're never gonna catch Leafeon that way!" Junmyeon flops backwards as Leafeon outruns Minseok _again._ Nearly half an hour of their life has been wasted trying to catch this little asshole and make him their friend. Pikachu just can't run that fast, no matter what Minseok seems to think about their chubby, stubby yellow friend. "He can't catch her directly, he's too little!"

"Shut up," Minseok yells and challenges Leafeon to another game of chase. "Pikachu is a god among men! Do you hear me? A god among men! He _will_ catch Leafeon and we _will_ befriend her."

"Not if you keep chasing after her like a moron - Ow! You're so mean!" The Sky Pavilion is going to fall and crush the Pokepark and it's all because Minseok just won't _listen_. This is Junmyeon's game! He's the only one in the entire apartment who's ever beat it but Minseok is just too fucking headstrong. Leafeon outruns them again and Minseok screams in the back of his throat. "Wow, you lost - again. Now will you listen to me?"

Minseok turns to him with hellfire in his eyes instead. "I will actually give you a swirly if you don't shut up. And Jongdae was in charge of cleaning the bathroom this week so you know the toilet is now classified as a bioweapon." Junmyeon is well aware of the current state of their toilet; he's been considering using Kyungsoo's bathroom out of fear.

He'll probably actually die if Minseok gives him a swirly. He doesn't think his best friend would actually do it, but he's in Pokepark state of madness and Junmyeon's not a big gambler. He also can't watch Minseok fuck up this game of chase again though. It's almost physically painful at this point.

So he lunges for the Wii remote and screeches to throw Minseok off his rhythm.

The front door opens as Minseok is dragging Junmyeon to the bathroom by his ankles. Junmyeon shrieking for mercy and dragging a kitchen chair with him to try and slow his best friend down. Kyungsoo pauses in the entryway and sighs, "Pokepark again?" They both nod, frozen in place by the utter lack of amusement on Kyungsoo's face.

"Let Junmyeon go. If he gets sick from the new species Jongdae's started growing in your toilet you'll never forgive yourself." Junmyeon's feet hit the ground and he wiggles across the floor to hide behind Kyungsoo's legs. Chanyeol comes in a few seconds later, a bag of chips in hand.

"Leafeon again," he asks and hands the chips to Junmyeon, settling down on the couch. He tugs Kyungsoo down to sit in his lap, "She's kinda hard to catch. I think Junmyeon knows how though."

Minseok huffs and stomps back to the couch, picking up the discarded Wii remote and dropping it onto Junmyeon's belly. "Fine! You try it!"

And Junmyeon does in one go. Because he's the only one that's played this game all the way through and because he uses the age-old tactic of attacking from the side. Truly, an innovative strategy. He hands the remote back to Minseok with a smirk and dodges the kick to his ass as he climbs back up onto the couch.

What Junmyeon doesn't do is openly gloat about his victory. Minseok isn't going to dunk him in the toilet - he really could get sick and one of the rules is to never leave lasting damage. But that doesn't mean the precious, precious bag of chips is safe.

"So where're Sehun and the human terror," Kyungsoo asks.

"Getting pizza." Minseok pauses the game and hands the remote to Junmyeon of his own free will. Is he having a stroke? "There's - uh - actually something I wanted to ask you guys about while he's gone." Junmyeon tosses the remote on the coffee table. No time for Pokepark, only Minseok. Minseok stares at the ground and chews at the inside of his cheek. "I've been thinking about talking to him about my feelings all week and I think I'm really gonna do it. I'm tired of this stupid dance we keep doing."

Junmyeon makes some weird noise of happiness in the back of his throat and pulls Minseok into a hug. This is a wonderful day! A Saturday to end all Saturdays!

"Besides, if Junmyeon, resident timid baby, can get a man then why can't I?" And why must Minseok hurt him so. Junmyeon retracts his hug and falls onto Kyungsoo and Chanyeol instead. Chanyeol is laughing at him, because he's a giant asshole, but Kyungsoo pats his head in comfort. Kyungsoo is the nicest of them all - except when they're being stupid. But usually the nicest.

"Why can't you just live your life and not make fun of me," Junmyeon whines. "He's not even my man!"

Junmyeon's phone buzzes on the coffee table and Minseok lunges for it. He waves the texts in front of Junmyeon's nose with a stupid know-it-all smirk on his face.

**From: Kris**

_Sorry I haven't responded to you today_

_I was called into work today for a literal fashion emergency and just got it all settled. I wanted to know if you were free and felt like coming over to my apartment to spend the night?_

_I can pick you up. Just let me know soon. I'd really like your company baby_

"Not your man, huh?" Junmyeon whines and kicks at Minseok's thigh and snatches his phone back. "Doesn't seem like it to me, _baby_."

Junmyeon shoves his phone down his shirt where Minseok won't try to grab it again. Minseok has no reservations about accidental dick grabbing when trying to steal a phone, but brushing nipples is just too weird for him. It makes absolutely no sense but Junmyeon's not going to try and point out his flawed logic.

At least he didn't unlock the phone and open up Kris' text conversation. He'd see a whole week's worth of pictures of dogs they saw on the street and a discussion about Junmyeon's favorite books and Kris sending him cute little motivational messages to do well on his projects. Junmyeon would never live that trove of fluff down, not in the circle of hell that is this apartment. The _baby_ thing is new though, Kris has never called him by anything but his name before.

"Go think about how you're going to spill your gay little heart out to Jongdae and stop picking on me!" Junmyeon rolls off the couch and squirms backwards across the floor, out of Minseok's evil, evil clutches. He keeps squirming around the side of the couch towards his room.

He could very easily stand on his own two feet like a normal human being. He probably _should,_ because he was the one in charge of cleaning the floors this week and he knows exactly how bad of a job he did. But he feels more comfortable wiggling around like a worm. It feels organic.

"Where're you going," Minseok asks, peeking over the top of the couch at him. "I'll stop making fun of you and your man."

"I'm gonna pack. And if you stopped making fun of me, how would I know you're you?'

Minseok blinks and his eyebrows pull together in a way that is decidedly not happy. "Wait, you're leaving? Like you're actually gonna go?"

No, Junmyeon's just going to pack to go to his own room. "Yes...?" And then he dodges the ratty couch cushion thrown at his face. "Agh – _Why?"_

Minseok groans, _"_ My best friend is being stolen by his sugar daddy!" Chanyeol chokes, probably on the potato chips Junmyeon abandoned. Junmyeon likes to think that Kyungsoo is on his side. Probably not, because Kyungsoo likes a joke just as much as the rest of them, but he can't see Kyungsoo's face so he pretends. "My best friend is leaving just as I'm about to confess to the boy I love... What's a twunk to do?"

"For all that is holy, stop calling yourself a twunk!"

* * *

 

Kris lets him pick the radio station, showing him how to work the radio and offering the AUX cord. Junmyeon vehemently refuses the AUX cord. It's a little too early for Kris to know just how deep into girl groups he is. His phone is, in essence, a shrine to Red Velvet and Girls' Generation. It's his greatest pride and darkest secret.

So he hides his incriminating phone library in his pocket and flicks through the radio stations. There a few songs that come on that he doesn't mind, but he watches Kris out of the corner of his eye and tries to find a song the man likes. They eventually end on _Russian Roulette_ because Kris smiles when he the chorus hits. Seems Kris is _also_ an intellectual. Junmyeon has to restrain himself from dancing in his seat.

"Have you eaten dinner yet," Kris asks. Junmyeon shakes his head and Kris hums. The man grips Junmyeon's hand loosely in his own and slides their fingers together. He's more touchy than last Saturday. It's really sweet, but different. Probably a product of the stress.

Junmyeon's not great at understanding emotions over text, but it was pretty fucking obvious that Kris has been under _major_ stress. He would answer Junmyeon's texts at three in the morning and then send him pictures of designs that were actually meant for someone else but he's just too tired to remember to change the contact he's talking to.

So Junmyeon does his job as a stress reliever and lets Kris be as affectionate as he wants – Junmyeon likes it too, of course. He's an affectionate little gremlin that is more than happy to soak up all the attention Kris has to give.

"Pizza sound good?"

"Yeah." He left before Jongdae and Sehun returned from their wild adventure for pizza and the idea of food has stomach making all those weird grumbly noises. "There's a place pretty close to here that's not too bad."

"Pie-Oh-Pie?" Junmyeon nods. The pizza place that has single-handedly pushed Junmyeon and his friends through allnighters. He would like his wedding to be catered by Pie-Oh-Pie. They'd probably do it too. Nayoung said she once delivered to a funeral. "What do you get on your pizza? Not pineapple, right?"

"No," Junmyeon laughs, "no pineapple. I get black olives and onions. Don't look at me like I'm crazy, it's actually pretty good!" Kris nods but the look on his face screams that he's a giant liar that's questioning Junmyeon's favorite pizza toppings. Long-legged jerk.

But Kris orders a pizza on the phone with onions and olives on one half and pepperoni on the other. And he kisses Junmyeon on the cheek in apology for making fun of him. So it's all good. It's very good, actually.

And then they walk into the restaurant and there's high-pitched giggling and quiet screeching that sounds like Sehun when he's losing at Mario Kart. Kris doesn't even notice. Junmyeon whirls around though and sees Jongdae and Sehun bouncing up and down at the cash register barely five feet away, pointing at him with looks of absolute _joy._

This is hell. They must've crashed on the way to Pie-Oh-Pie and this is his hell. Jongdae and Sehun keep jumping and quietly screeching and pointing like fucking five-year-olds. Junmyeon waves for them to stop but all it does is encourage them further. Jongdae might just pass out from excitement.

Kris squeezes his hand and Junmyeon startles. This was _not_ how he wanted Kris to meet these two. If Kris ever decided he wanted to meet them. It would make sense for him to not want to meet Junmyeon's friends because he's not Kris' boyfriend or anything but Kris seems to take this whole thing very much as a relationship. It's complicated. Kris makes it complicated.

But what is not complicated is how badly Junmyeon does _not_ want Jongdae and Sehun to be here.

"Your friends, I hope," Kris murmurs in his ear. Junmyeon nods. Kris probably thinks he's fucking weird for having friends like this. He _is_ fucking weird, but not because he let these two giant morons into his life. Kris just waves to them and takes their pizza. Junmyeon's face is on fire because his friends are so so _so stupid_ and Sehun just tripped over Jongdae and took them both to the ground.

Junmyeon waves goodbye. He also flips them off when Kris' back is turned, because Jongdae and Sehun are _evil_ and enjoy making him suffer. Jongdae makes a really gross gesture and then points at Kris and holds his hands a highly unrealistic distance apart.

He hopes Jongdae cries like a little bitch when Minseok tells him he loves him. And that Minseok gets it on camera so Junmyeon can laugh it later. It's what he deserves for making him suffer like this.

Sehun, at least, waves goodbye with a big smile. He is firmly in the Favorite Child spot.

Kris doesn't say anything until they're outside and away from where Sehun and Jongdae are probably still screeching about seeing Junmyeon with his sugar daddy. They still need to find a better name for him than that.

Junmyeon holds the pizza on his lap to keep it safe. And it gives him something to focus on besides the fact that Kris probably thinks he's really, really fucking weird. Or maybe something bad about his friends. Which would make Junmyeon get out of the car because only _he_ is allowed to make fun of them. It's a trade-off; they make his life a living nightmare and he gets to make fun of them for being the physical embodiments of chaos.

"Your friends are very interesting," Kris says as he pulling away from the curb. "Very, very interesting."

"They're the best friends I've ever had." It comes out a little standoffish, but Kris just smiles and tugs playfully at Junmyeon's earlobes.

"Good," he replies, "it doesn't matter how interesting or weird they are as long as they treat you right. What's the point of having friends if they don't embarrass you in public, anyway?" A true intellectual. Junmyeon smiles, turning up the radio to near deafening as _Gee_ comes on. What's the point of living if there's never any embarrassment?

* * *

 

Kris' apartment is messier than Junmyeon expected. _A lot_ messier. That might be because Zitao talked about how people rich enough to afford sugar babies tend to also have maids that keep everything nice and neat. And it is clean. There's definitely a kind of cleanliness to most of the place and it looks lived in. Which is comforting. It makes the whole place feel more like a home and less like a little diorama at IKEA. But there is such a thing as being _too_ lived in.

"I am so so sorry, Junmyeon. I should have cleaned up. I promise I don't usually live like this." Kris scurries around the kitchen, gathering up as much mail as he can in his long arms. Junmyeon just stands there with the pizza. His face feels like it's frozen into uncomfortable disgust and he can't make it stop. He's trying like hell to school his face into something less judgmental but good fucking lord.

Kris is a grown adult man in charge of a whole company and the _entirety_ of his kitchen is overrun with mail. Just mail. Envelopes and catalogs and more envelopes. The man's face is so red and he's just spitting out a running stream of apologies. And running around the kitchen with the same armload of mail because there's nowhere for him to put it all.

Junmyeon sets the pizza on a shitty fashion magazine - shitty enough that he knows it's garbage. The apartment’s honestly not that bad. Maybe a little messier than Junmyeon's apartment during finals season now that Kyungsoo has stress sex with Chanyeol instead of stress cleaning. It's just a little weird that a real adult with a real adult job and a nice apartment that he owns is this messy. Junmyeon pushes a pile of mail off the kitchen counter to the floor.

Kris freezes. "What are you doing?"

"I – uh – helping?" Junmyeon sits down on the ground next to his pile of mail. "If that's okay?" It seems like junk mail. Lots and lots of junk mail. Junmyeon doesn't mind sorting through junk mail and throwing away what Kris doesn't need.

"You don't have to," Kris says. "That's not what I brought you here for..." But he doesn't stop Junmyeon from pulling over the trash can and throwing away the obvious junk. The man just stares at Junmyeon like _this_ is the weirdest thing he's done. Not how he essentially malfunctioned like a prototype android on their first date or anything, but sorting mail and helping him clean. Like _this_ is the height of strangeness.

Kris sits next to him on the floor anyway, tugging a paper shredder and recycling bin over and plucking the junk mail out of the trash can. "People go through the dumpsters here to see which apartment I'm in. I have to shred all the mail and then put it in the recycling – save the planet and all. It takes more time than I've had to spend and it's just piled up."

"I can't believe people try to find your mail. Isn't that like a felony or something," Junmyeon asks as he feeds a stack of envelopes to the paper shredder. It whirs away and Junmyeon loves that the basket is see through. It looks like shredded lettuce, cool but not edible. "But I don't mind helping you clean up. This is actually sort of – why do you have a quilting catalog?"

Kris snatches it away and rips off the address marker, chucking it and all the other odd catalogs into the recycling bin. And then he kicks the recycling bin out of Junmyeon's reach. "My aunt. Don't – they're not mine. Don't laugh at me."

"I wasn't going to," Junmyeon says. Like a liar.

"Don't try that. I can _see_ you smiling." Kris pokes at his cheeks and Junmyeon giggles. “Hey! Get back here!” Junmyeon lunges for the recycling bin, squeaking out laughter when Kris intercepts him and they both go rolling on the floor. They land with Kris hovering over him in what should be probably be a lead in into something romantic or hot or anything else befitting a romcom. They stare at each other for a few moments and it’s the perfect set-up. It would be the perfect moment for romance.

Junmyeon grabs a catalog near his head that says _Goodies for Good Boys_ and bursts in cackles instead. “Did your aunt get this too? Oh my god, why is the guy in a _fursuit_!”

“That was Baekhyun’s fault,” Kris whines, “I just keep forgetting to tell them to stop sending these to my house! And quit laughing at me!” Junmyeon can’t. He doesn’t even try, but he knows he can’t. It’s just so fucking ridiculous. Junmyeon laughs until he starts to run out of air and his laugh comes in on the inhale. It is the dreaded Seal Laugh, capable of reducing the entire apartment into a cackling mess in seconds. “What is that _laugh?_ Oh, oh wow.”

Kris hits the ground next to them and then they’re both laughing, Kris losing his mind every time Junmyeon becomes the Seal. And Junmyeon can’t stop laughing because the stupid fursuit in BDSM gear is right there in front of his face and it’s disturbingly hilarious. Kris finally rips out of his hands and tosses it into the garbage can where it belongs.

And then they both cross themselves. Though Junmyeon is pretty damn sure Kris actually does a fucking jutsu like from _Naruto._ The kind of people he surrounds himself with. Truly incredible.

"That was..."

"Something." Junmyeon sits up and nods, doing his best to not burst into laughter again. But it's hard. It's so hard. "And I thought my friends were weird, at least my friends don't do _that."_

Kris sits up too and rolls his eyes, smiling just a little bit. His hair is all messy and his nice, clean clothes are wrinkled. He looks like a real person. Not that he doesn't look like a real person most of the time because he is a real person, but he looks a little more like someone Junmyeon could meet on the street someday. Boyfriend. That's how Minseok and Jongdae describe their favorite boy group when they're dressed like normal human beings. He looks very boyfriend.

That doesn't sound right at all. But it fits.

"Can we agree to not look at the catalogs anymore? Just hand them to me and I'll make sure they're not one of the fashion magazines I actually order." Kris kicks the recycling bin a little farther away and his cheeks are burning bright pink. "You don't have to keep cleaning, by the way. I really just wanted to spend a night in watching TV with you or something."

Junmyeon really doesn't mind. He's actually having a pretty good time. They've got pizza waiting for them over Mount Mail-suvius - good pizza with all the right toppings! There was a strange magazine with a person in a fursuit in a BDSM harness, which is always a necessity for any date.

And Kris is sweet and likes Red Velvet and looks so cute right now it gives him heart palpitations; Kris is actually the high point of this wild arrangement which is apparently not supposed to be a thing. Zitao says that Junmyeon is a very bad sugar baby but he won't tell him why.

But Junmyeon picks up another pile of sorted mail and starts it feeding to the almighty paper shredder. "We can stop if you want but this is nice. I like just spending time with you like this."

It's just them and the mail and the paper shredder. No assumptions about what he should be doing as a sugar baby or companion. No weird sexual atmosphere or need for extreme romance. Just two guys shredding mail together. Junmyeon's not good with hot and heavy romance but he's - he likes to think that he's really really good at this. Whatever _this_ is.

Kris darts in close and kisses his cheek. Junmyeon's face could probably be used to melt lead. And Kris just laughs and kiss his cheek again. Heart palpitations. Kris gives him heart palpitations and he _knows_ better. They are both very aware that Junmyeon has the stress-handling capabilities of a particularly hardy chihuahua and yet Kris does this to him.

A demon. Truly a demonic presence from another plane.

"I'll grab the pizza and some plates. We can eat while we sort, I guess," Kris says. Or an angel. Either-or, it depends on the moment.

They eat pizza, sort mail, and fill up the paper shredder basket so many times that Kris rigs it to just hang above the recycling bin with the help of duct tape and a really good understanding of how physics work. Junmyeon did the duct tape, Kris was the physics man.

"You have so much mail," Junmyeon whines as he stands up and sweeps the last pile off the counter. Two hours. Two hours they've spent sorting and shredding mail. Kris won't let him touch a catalog, not after the furry incident. But Junmyeon has figured out a way to coax Kris' paper shredder to shred three envelopes at once. So he's feeling pretty good about himself.

He's also feeling good about Kris. There has been something superhuman about him since they met, something a little larger than life. It had been bad enough to make it nearly impossible for him to even speak to Kris at first, but then there was that weird little head-bobbing thing at The El Dorado that made him seem kind of birdy? Bird-ish? Birdlike? It brought him down a few pegs.

And now this. Seeing the messy side of him, the embarrassed about how messy he is side of him, the side of him that doesn't tell his aunt to stop signing him up for knitting catalogs because it's the only way she knows how to reach out to him. It makes Kris fallible, human.

Junmyeon kind of likes that Kris is, at his core, a human too. Well, more than just his core, hopefully. Junmyeon's not quite ready to fuck a cyborg. Or anyone at all, but the cyborg thing puts a damper on the boner situation.

"Let's leave the last pile for the morning." Kris yawns until his jaw cracks and gently pulls Junmyeon to stand with him. "I just wanna veg out with you."

The leftover pizza goes into the fridge for tomorrow morning and Junmyeon find himself lying on the couch with his head pillowed in Kris' lap, long fingers running through his hair making him straddle that border between drowsy and sleep. He didn't even know he was this tired until Kris got him to take a rest.

"What do you wanna watch? I've got Netflix and satellite – not a Hulu or HBO fan though." Kris flips through titles and the lights blur kind of weird when Junmyeon lets his eyes start to fall shut. He doesn't really give a fuck what they watch as long as it's not some action thriller or a spooky horror movie.

He would be the first one to die in a horror movie, it's an agreed upon fact in the apartment and now it makes him a little nervous. It's hard to yell at the idiots on screen when he knows he would be making those exact same bad decisions.

And then something catches his eye. "Oh," he gently taps at Kris' arm, "the shark thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the narrator's voice is really soothing. it's a good thing to watch at night because it helps you fall asleep. Or, like, it just doesn't force you to stay awake with loud noises or infect your dreams with really weird dialogue." It can enter dreams though. Junmyeon's had many dreams of sharks doing lovely shark things. Those were some damn good dreams.

Kris hits play and throws the remote on the coffee table. It goes sliding off with a crash and Kris whines like he doesn't have freakishly long gibbon-like arms to grab it. He does, of course. All tall people have those weirdly long arms that aren't actually weird because they're in proportion but still weird because they are longer than Junmyeon's arms.

Junmyeon is very tired.

The hand in his hair moves to hold one of his own hands resting on his stomach while Kris' other hand takes up the arduous task of playing with Junmyeon's hair. A sacrifice for the ages, truly. Junmyeon plays with Kris' fingers and tries not to fall asleep. It's hard though. Kris is good at head-scratching and hand-holding. If he wasn't a CEO, he could do it for a living. He'd make bank. Maybe.

But it's good that he is a CEO and Junmyeon doesn't have to share. The exclusivity rule is probably the best rule in the history of rules. Junmyeon's a possessive gremlin who doesn't like to share, even when Kris isn't actually his to keep.

They both start to drift. The narrator lulls them into a shark-filled trance as he talks about the cute little lemon sharks and the kind of terrifying white-tipped reef sharks - they let the other fish bother them during the daytime and then massacre the reef at night and that's pretty fucked up in Junmyeon's book.

They manage to stay awake until the show starts on prehistoric sharks, shark ancestors, and other prehistoric fish that looked like shark but were not actually sharks. It's the best part because nature has created some really weird creatures, most of which are still alive at the bottom of the ocean. They've only explored one percent of the ocean floor; there's a damn good chance that a megalodon is hiding somewhere down there. But it's incredible to see what animals came before him and how perfect nature made the shark that its basic design hasn't changed in millennia.

"The helicoprion is so much cooler than the megalodon," Kris says around a yawn. The show is moving to the twilight zone to talk about goblin sharks and the other animals that are on Junmyeon's Would Not Want to Meet in an Alley list. "Sucks that it doesn't get classified as a shark though."

Junmyeon forces his eyes open to make sure Kris isn't joking. He better be joking. The helicoprion is cool, yes, but it wasn't cool enough to be a shark. "The megalodon could eat this apartment building and still be hungry. It's a god among sharks, Kris."

Kris scoffs, "It could not eat the apartment building. And it's just a big shark! That's it!"

"It so could! It's like a fucking million feet long or something-"

"The show said sixty, baby, sixty feet." Junmyeon stares at Kris in disbelief. Was he just interrupted? While arguing? Kris is staring down at him with a smile and he knows that Kris isn't really taking this seriously. Junmyeon has Strong Feelings about sharks.

"And how big is your buzzsaw-mouthed pseudo-shark? It's not even cool enough to be a shark, okay. It's weak and it's not as big as the megalodon. So...the megalodon is better." Junmyeon runs out a breath near the end and he is well aware that he sounds like a child but he will not let anyone talk badly about the megalodon. So what if it wasn't a million feet long physically? It's a billion feet long in Junmyeon's heart.

Kris starts laughing though. He laughs with his entire body until he has to let go to wipe away the laughing tears. "It-it's not the size of shark. It's how you use it." Junmyeon hates it. It's awful. It's like one of Junmyeon's bad jokes on steroids. But he loses it. Junmyeon nearly falls off the couch because he's rolling with laughter and Kris has to grab him and hold him steady.

Junmyeon taps Kris' arm to get his attention and looks him dead in the eye, "Is that a megalodon in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" Neither of them even make it to the end of the joke, laughing until their sides hurt like absolute morons.

They both keep spitting out half-formed shark puns and jokes that don't actually have any meaning but still leave them howling. Kris is nearly bent in half and their foreheads are touching. It's a little gross because the laughter has made them kind of sweaty, but Kris pulls back a little and Junmyeon can look him in the eye – he's so absolutely wonderful – smile, laugh, face, sense of humor, all of it. It's all so incredible that it makes his heart feel like it's going to burst out of his chest.

They both grin until their cheeks hurt. Junmyeon wonders if he should ask for a kiss because he really wouldn't mind one right now but then he sees the amusement in Kris' eyes and knows _exactly_ what's coming. So he beats Kris to it. "Shark bait oo-ah-ah!"

" _Goddammit!_ That was gonna be _my_ joke!" And maybe kisses are a little overrated when it comes to moments like this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Accompanying Kris to social events is a part of his job – it is his job. He said he could do it and he thought he was telling the truth. But the asphalt is looking more and more comfortable with each mile they put behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter five and we finally get too meet some characters I'm sure you've all been waiting for! (I hope, at least) I really hope you enjoy this chapter! (I also need to get started on chapter nine because we've already almost caught up to where I've written haha)
> 
> As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18?lang=en) for being the best beta ever!
> 
> And don't forget that the Chansoo fest I'm running, [Oh Lovely Day fest](https://twitter.com/lovelydayfest?lang=en) is currently claiming and will be until 4/22. Come check it out!

Junmyeon’s so fucked. He’s so royally fucked. There is no true way to describe just how completely fucked he is. He could not be more fucked unless he was actually getting fucked. He can jump out of the car at the next stoplight and make a run for it. Except Kris has his hand in a vice grip because they both know how close Junmyeon is disappearing into the night.

Accompanying Kris to social events is a part of his job – it _is_ his job. He said he could do it and he thought he was telling the truth. But the asphalt is looking more and more comfortable with each mile they put behind them. He should make a run for it and maybe call Zitao to go with Kris. Zitao is good at socializing, really good at putting on fake smiles and pretending he likes people and cares about they have to say. Junmyeon is not. Junmyeon is good at being honest and holding hands and slurping down take-out noodles with Kris after work. Kris thinks so too, it’s why they’ve been together for a month and a half – not together like _together_ together but just doing this thing together.

But Junmyeon’s not good at the thing he has to do tonight. He has to mingle in this suit that he feels weird in with people he feels weird around and only Kris as his lifejacket. He’s going to say something wrong to the wrong person. And then something awful is going to happen to Kris and it will be all his fault. He’s going to ruin Kris’ entire life. Junmyeon grabs the door handle and stares at the dashboard in pure terror.

“Please, do not explode right now,” Kris says, “I really, _really_ think your head is about to explode and I would appreciate if you didn’t do that.”

“I’m gonna fuck it up. I’m gonna fuck it all up,” Junmyeon’s voice has to squeak out of his throat because he’s not having the easiest time breathing.

Kris stops at the stoplight and makes sure all the doors are locked. He also grabs Junmyeon’s other hand and pulls it away from the door handle with a terrified little laugh. “No, you’re not,” he sing-songs, “you’re very funny and very sweet and I think you’ll have a very good time tonight. It’s the best gala to go to because it’s very relaxed and there are lots of people who are not related to fashion. My friends are going to be there! My friends who are very excited to meet you! So you won’t fuck it up – please don’t jump out of the car, Junmyeon.”

And now they’re both panicking in the car. They should just go home. They can go eat pizza at Pie-Oh-Pie and maybe Junmyeon can teach Kris the dances to Red Velvet like he promised. It’ll be very nice and very relaxed. No black ties or important people that could ruin Kris’ career because Junmyeon is bad at speaking words with his mouth.

“You did great at the dinner last week!” Kris kisses his temple and screeches quietly when the light turns green and he has to let go of Junmyeon to keep driving. “Remember that, you didn’t fuck that up and Mr. Lee decided he wanted to come design for my company! It was awesome! Best dinner ever!”

That dinner was Something. Junmyeon had arrived first because the restaurant was close to campus and he’d brought his nice clothes in his backpack, an outfit he’d finally bought for himself when Minseok mentioned that he needed nice clothing to wear to nice things. So Junmyeon had been the one looking for Kris’ business associate, some designer he really wanted for his company. Junmyeon didn’t even know the guy looked like, so he looked around the restaurant like an idiot until some idiot gave him a onceover as he walked by. He asked if Junmyeon was lost, eyes too similar to those weird frat guys who are only gay when it comes sex. He said Junmyeon was too beautiful to be having dinner all alone and Junmyeon had happily replied that he was not alone.

And then Kris called his name and Junmyeon turned around to see Kris darting in to kiss his cheek and hug him. The designer had frowned and pouted like a child until they ordered appetizers and then ignored Junmyeon the rest of the night. Kris had tried to get him involved in the conversation but the designer refused to talk to him. A grown fucking child.

“Hey,” Kris yells, startling them both, “how are Minseok and Jongdae doing? Let’s talk about them and not the gala, yeah? Sounds like a _great_ idea to me!”

And Junmyeon’s brain hops off the spiraling merry-go-round of doom and hops onto the seesaw of disgust and joy. “They’re really good. Like really, really good. Jongdae made Minseok dinner last night and Sehun and I had to eat in our room because they were having a _date night_. It’s gross.” Kris only knows about the drama involving Minseok and Jongdae because Junmyeon checked his phone the morning after the Great Shark Debate and screamed.

Minseok had sent a snapchat of Jongdae asleep on his chest with the caption ‘am I just in love with Jongdae now? Is that my job?’. Minseok apparently spilled his guts and Jongdae burst into tears apologizing for being so awful because he’s so in love with Minseok he has to force himself not cry whenever he smiles. “It’s really cute. Kind of gross because I know they probably make out on the couch, but really cute. Jongdae stares at Minseok like he literally hung the sun in the sky and they watch TV and cuddle and kiss.”

“That’s so cute,” Kris coos, “I’d like to meet them sometime – properly. You talk about them a lot and I don’t think Jongdae is nearly as demonic as you say. He sounds very sweet.”

Jongdae is very sweet. And _fucking nasty_ because Junmyeon and Sehun had to add a new rule for Jongdae and Minseok to not have sex when anyone else is home. Jongdae is _loud_ – and a size queen. And they like to fuck when it’s like eleven at night and Junmyeon and Sehun have class in the morning. There’s a sticky note on the fridge now, ‘Get Jongdae a gag or fuck when you’re alone’.

But no fucking way is Junmyeon about to tell Kris that.

“I’m happy for them. The apartment isn’t so angsty anymore.” They laugh and Kris squeezes his hand gently. “And now I don’t have to be on Minseok’s team for Monopoly anymore.”

“You play Monopoly with teams?”

Junmyeon nods. Fuck yeah they do. Six young adults who all want to win and all hate capitalism until it comes to buying Park Place? There have to be teams so the game ends before they graduate. But Minseok gets tired of Monopoly before the rest of them and actively sabotages the game so his team loses. Junmyeon is pretty damn tired of losing. He wants Sehun on his team. He’s the youngest, sweet, and manipulative, and terrifyingly good at capitalism and business.

Kris takes a left turn and – Junmyeon can still make it if he gets out of the car _right now._ But Kris hits the gas with a nervous laugh and gets in line for the valet. They’ve barely even breached the realm of the gala and Junmyeon’s ready to just vomit the Kit-Kats he stress ate before Kris cajoled him into getting dressed into the nearest trash can and get the hell out of dodge. But he can’t do that because Kris gave him so many outs when he brought up the gala two weeks ago and made it _so_ clear that he didn’t want to make Junmyeon do anything he didn’t want to.

“It’ll be okay, Junmyeon,” Kris squeezes his hand again and pulls up to the valet, “I’m gonna be with you the whole time and I’ve gotten good at these kinds of things; I’ll try to keep the attention off you. And I’ve got a few people I _have_ to talk to for business and everything and then I would like for you to meet my friends, but as soon as that’s done just let me know when you’re ready to leave.” Kris is out of the car before Junmyeon can process it all. He hands the valet the keys and hurries around the car to open the door for Junmyeon. Kris is so excited, smiles so big it takes over his whole face. “You look so good, most of the people will probably assume you’re a model I met when I was overseeing a shoot.”

Kris is a big dumb idiot who gives out big dumb compliments and it makes Junmyeon’s big dumb heart not work right. His face burns and Kris just smiles wider because he _loves_ it when Junmyeon blushes. What a jerk. But Junmyeon laces their fingers together as the first opportunity because he’s reliant on this big dumb idiot and because he just really likes holding Kris’ hand.

“Oh my god,” Kris whispers, coughing violently, “don’t look, ten o’clock.” So of course Junmyeon looks, because it’s impossible to not look at something when you’re told not to look. And then he promptly dies. Of laughter. And mortification, but only for the other person. “Why did you look?”

Junmyeon stops walking, fighting for air as he tries so hard not to laugh his ass off just outside a big, fancy gala. Kris stops too, because he has to or else one of them will fall over. “Please, keep walking. I know it’s so funny and we can laugh until we cry when we leave but _please_ , baby, please keep it together.”

And Junmyeon can’t not take the shot. Some poor soul shows up to a gala, a gala that has so many fashion moguls as attendees, and they wear a fucking BDSM harness. Junmyeon only knows what those are from the time he and Minseok got drunk and decided to move away from their vanilla porn and see how far they could go into the depths of the internet before getting scared or laughing their asses off. Junmyeon lost it at the harness video when the dominatrix started calling the man a ‘dirty little pig boy.’

“Kris,” he chokes out. Kris stops, lips quivering with the urge to smile and trying to tug him along before anyone notices that they’re both really about to lose their shit. “I thought it was a black tie event, not a tied up event.”

“I hate you so fucking much. That’s so fucking funny, oh my god. Get – get inside before we cause a scene. That joke was so good why are you so funny?” There are actual tears leaking out of Kris’ eyes as he drags Junmyeon up to the entrance to the gala. Junmyeon tries to look like a normal human creature who is most certainly not cackling about BDSM.

And then all the laughter fades away because the doors to the building open up – Junmyeon has to go home right now immediately. He is not cut out for this. There are chandeliers and an actual fucking ballroom and people dressed so nicely Junmyeon feels underdressed even in his stupidly nice suit. “Oh – I – uh? I don’t feel so good.” Kris just squeezes his hand like that’s going to make him feel any better. It does, a little.

He leads Junmyeon further past the door, tugging gently when Junmyeon decides he would very, very much like to stay exactly where is. “Junmyeon, come on. It’s easier if you just jump into it and don’t have people thinking you’re strange for hiding by the door.” Junmyeon shakes his head. No thanks. Here is much nicer and not full of people. Kris sighs and tries to pout. It doesn’t work as well as he thinks it does. “You know, I can’t really stay by your side if you don’t come in with me.”

Or he could stay at Junmyeon’s side right here. Or they can go back to Kris’ apartment. Junmyeon will follow Kris all around the apartment if he wants. That would be perfectly fine. But Kris is very much _not_ going back to his apartment. And Junmyeon said he would go and he’s not going to break his word. So he follows Kris in and holds his hand as tightly as he can.

They barely make it into the ballroom before Kris is fucking _mobbed_ by people wanting to talk to him. Maybe _mob_ is a little bit of an overexaggeration because each person comes in an orderly fashion, talks to Kris, and leaves to give another person a turn, but Junmyeon sees people eyeing Kris like cats waiting to pounce on the first moment of free time he has. So it is most certainly a mob to him.

A few are just employees that say hello and update Kris on their department’s progress. And Kris greets them all by name. He asks how their families are, if they’re having a good time at the gala. He _knows_ these people, and they know him.

“And this is Junmyeon, my date.” Junmyeon’s heart does a weird little flip in his chest. Each and every person. Kris introduces to him to each and every person. The employees say hello and that’s it’s very nice to meet him and all the weird small talk Junmyeon never really figured out how to use.

And then business associates, designers from different companies and acquaintances from non-fashion business. Kris keeps all the attention off him – it’s actually pretty fucking boring.

So Junmyeon tracks down all the little appetizers to keep himself occupied. “You’re like a magnet for free food,” Kris hisses when Junmyeon ducks through the crowd and comes back with a tray of little finger sandwiches. He looks a little embarrassed, mostly because he knows Junmyeon snatched it from the food table like a hungry goblin, but he eats them anyway.

“I’m a college student. So it’s basically the same thing. Damn, these are pretty good.”

Kris sighs and takes the tray before nodding at the server walking around with sushi. “Think you can grab those too?” Junmyeon scoffs. Fucking _watch_ him.

Junmyeon weaves through the people a few minutes later with his hard won tray of food. He’d had to grab it in the split-second the server put it down to help an attendee pick up the spilled contents of her purse. Kris better appreciate the lengths he goes to to make him happy because a man with a very pronounced handlebar mustache had watched him steal the tray. The embarrassment he put himself through, the indignity. But Kris smiles so wide when he sees Junmyeon coming back with the sushi – it’s worth it.

It's really, really worth it.

And then the BDSM harness guy comes by. Junmyeon grabs Kris’ arm and makes a high-pitched noise of terror. This is his limit; this where he loses his fucking mind, having to stare at this man wearing a sex harness in the middle of a ballroom. Kris can’t expect him to keep it together, not with this guy around. The harness is even worse up close. It’s black and shiny and there’s a little stain on one of the straps. Death is coming for him and it will not be swift or merciful. “We have to go. I _can’t,_ Kris, not this.”

“It’ll be fine,” Kris whispers, “I’ll do all the talking, just don’t look below his face.”

It’s so hard not to look. It’s _so fucking hard_. But he tries, Junmyeon really fucking tries to keep it together for Kris. Kris does his best to just make small talk. Weather, business, if the other person is enjoying the event. But the guy just keeps gesturing to his harness like he’s asking for them to notice. Junmyeon has to stare at his own reflection in the tray so he doesn’t start laughing; Kris must have a will of fucking steel to not take the bait.

And then. _And then._ “I see you’re wearing a very – uh, interesting accessory today.” _Goddammit!_ Kris is supposed to be the smart one here! The one who doesn’t walk right into jokes. That’s actually a lie, Kris walks right into jokes every goddamn day, but Junmyeon thought that was Kris just humoring him. Apparently not.

The guy lights up, “Yes! I found it in my father’s closet a few weeks ago while I was helping him declutter.” What the fuck? What the fuck? Junmyeon looks to Kris and his eyes are so wide, jaw clenched as he makes a weird little noise. “I asked him about it because it seemed like it hadn’t been used in a few years and I thought it was beautiful.” Junmyeon has to go. There’s no way he can make it through this. “He said it was French, a Beaudroitsumont, I believe.”

Junmyeon turns on his heel and walks back to the table with food and drink. It’s time for him to go, he’s seen everything.  Kris is right behind him, giggling helplessly. “Beaudroitsumont, what the _fuck_.”

“Do _not_ say it again or else I’ll start laughing and then we’ll have to leave,” Junmyeon squeaks. They hide by the food table, giggling together and deflecting anyone else that tries to talk to Kris. Kris is pretty fucking useless at this point, putting on a straight face and then dissolving into laughter.

Junmyeon gets a little caught off-guard. Kris – Kris is really, obnoxiously handsome when he laughs; so handsome that Junmyeon actually stops laughing so he can stare. Kris likes to hide his face when he laughs. He likes to bury it in Junmyeon’s shoulder or a pillow or in his hands. Junmyeon doesn’t usually get to just stare at Kris when he laughs and he takes full advantage.

A clock rings and Kris forces himself to straighten up. Which, well, sucks. But he’s still smiling. Kris is still smiling when he grabs Junmyeon’s hand and pulls him for a kiss. And that does not suck at all. “Are you still good to stay? That chime means dinner and we can’t really leave in the middle of dinner. So we’ll have to go now if we want to leave.”

“I thought you wanted me to meet your friends. And you had people to talk to.”

But Kris just shrugs. “My friends are my friends for a reason, they’d be happy to come over and meet you anytime. And they understand that these kinds of things are a little overwhelming at first. All my business stuff is done. Everyone I wanted to talk to came and found me – perks of being six feet tall, I guess. Never have to worry about getting lost in a crowd… Maybe I should tie a balloon around your wrist so I don’t lose you.”

Junmyeon is five fucking eight, thanks. He is a perfectly normal height for a man! He might be the shortest of his friends. And maybe he has to go up on his tippy-toes when he wants a kiss from Kris. But he’s not fucking short, not short enough for Kris to need a _balloon_ to keep track of him at least. “I’m kidding,” Kris coos, “I’d only do that if we went to Disneyland or something. Oh, don’t pout, you’ve got such a _short_ temper – I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ll stop!” Kris grabs him by the waist when he tries to stomp away. Junmyeon shouldn’t accept the apology hug; he’s not fucking short and Kris knows it. But Kris is really good at hugs and Junmyeon might be a little whipped for them.

A lot. He’s a lot whipped for Kris’ hugs. Probably because Kris is the size of the Megazord from Power Rangers and radiates heat like a furnace so his hugs are all warm and cozy.

Kris hums happily above his head. “You are not short, you are perfectly sized for having a good time. One could say you’re-”

“Call me fun-sized and I’m leaving.”

“That’s fair…but not very fun. Which you are sized for, by the way.” Kris dodges the weak kick aimed at his shin and grins down proudly. It does not make Junmyeon’s heart do very strange things, and it also does not make Junmyeon want kiss him or hug him really tight or anything weird and sappy and affectionate like that. Except it does and Junmyeon does both of those things. “So you’re good to stay?”

Junmyeon nods. How bad could it be? He’s already spent like two hours either being ignored or called cute as he munches on whatever food he could find. What’s another hour or two of doing the exact same thing? And it’ll make Kris happy. Which is pretty nice all things considered. There’s nothing wrong with liking to make Kris happy – it’s technically part of his job.

It has nothing to do with it being a part of his job though. Junmyeon just likes seeing Kris smile big and goofy. But that’s no one’s business. That’s not even Junmyeon’s business and they’re his feelings in the first place.

Kris leads the way to their table and pulls Junmyeon’s chair out for him. He’s buzzing with nervous energy and Junmyeon tries really hard not to lean out of the figurative blast zone. Last time Kris got this excited, they were playing UNO and his last card was a plus four that he threw so hard it hit Junmyeon in the arm and gave him a papercut. Or a plastic cut. No one knows what those cards are actually made of. So Junmyeon has a pretty good reason to be a little nervous when Kris gets excited.

But Kris just sits in chair beside Junmyeon and taps the man on his other side. The other man turns and lights up. “Kris! I was wondering where you were tonight. I just didn’t see yo-”

“You just showed up five minutes ago for free food,” Kris says with a smile, “There’s really no use in lying to me – not that I’d ever care what you do when it comes to these things. You’re a grown man, you can go or not go to whatever events you choose.”

The man shrugs. “Listen, these things are pretty fucking boring when you’re not interested in fashion at all. Like I hope you don’t torture Junmyeon with this shit.” He pauses and then leans forward, looking past Kris. Junmyeon freezes and tries not to meet his eyes. Maybe he’s like a Tyrannosaurus, if Junmyeon doesn’t move, he won’t be able to see him. “You said you were bringing him tonight, didn’t you, Kris?”

“I’m so sorry,” Kris whispers. Junmyeon grabs his hand under the table. If Kris leaves him to this terrifying creature, he’ll fuck up his shoe organization. That’s right. He’ll mix up all of Kris’ perfectly organized shoes. He’ll turn some of them backwards, he’ll mix up pairs, he’ll even hide one of them in Kris’ summer clothes; it’s almost early November, Kris won’t check there for _months._ “Yes, Luhan, I did say that.”

He’s hiding Kris’ favorite sweater too. _Shit!_ Junmyeon already has that sweater at his apartment because he got cold walking around the park last Sunday and Kris said he didn’t mind him borrowing it for a little while. Fucking with shoes is one thing, fucking with a gift given out of the kindness of Kris’ heart is another. Because the man staring at him is Luhan and there’s something distinctly not good about that.

Luhan. Thirty-two, Kris’ best friend since middle school, and very, very excited to meet Junmyeon. According to Kris on the way here, at least. Junmyeon wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing when Kris said it – Luhan’s got a smile that looks a little too big for his face now and he’s nearly leaning his whole upper body onto the table to see around Kris, so Junmyeon’s going to go with it being a bad thing.

“And is _this_ Junmyeon?” Kris nods. Junmyeon squeezes his hand and looks for a way out. Why can’t they lie and say that Junmyeon is actually not Junmyeon and that the real Junmyeon got called away for very important college student business? Or that he’s Batman and had to go fight crime so he couldn’t make it? Luhan’s smile is strangely shark-like and Junmyeon doesn’t like that at all. “Well _hello_ , Junmyeon. I’m Luhan. It’s very nice to meet you for the first time without getting a full thirty-page thesis about how wonderful you are from Kris.”

Kris tells his friends that he’s wonderful? Junmyeon’s brain is a dumpster fire ruled over by very distractible gnomes that love praise. So he ignores that Luhan sounds like Mrs. Doubtfire because Kris thinks he’s wonderful! He thinks he’s so wonderful that he tells his friends about it!

"Nice to meet you too, Luhan. I haven't gotten a, um, thesis like you but you seem very cool from what I've heard." Ah, yes, because every man in his thirties wants to be called _cool._ Didn't he make this mistake with Kris? Which didn't actually turn out to be a mistake because he's here, at the gala, sitting next to Kris. His cheeks feel like they're on fire regardless of whether it was a mistake or not.

Luhan's face softens and he sighs. "You're scared out of your mind, aren't you?" Junmyeon nods dumbly. He's never been a good liar. Luhan seems like the type of person to hate lies too; Junmyeon would very much like to be on Luhan's good side. "Don't be scared – not of me or Kris' other friends, at least. We've heard too many good things about you to dislike you right off the bat."

That implies that they might not like him after a little while. Which is Not Good. Junmyeon stares into Luhan's eyes, happy and cheery and kind of friendly. And he sees the Abyss and maybe his own death. A flair for the dramatics, some say? The dramatics have a flair for _him_.

Kris leans forward until he's body-blocking Luhan and Junmyeon from seeing each other. Junmyeon feels himself relax, a la _Dinner for Schmucks_ brain control. "Thanks," he whispers.

"Anytime." Kris leans in close and props his face up on his palm. It pulls his smile to one side and he looks absolutely ridiculous. It's also really, really cute and Junmyeon's not entirely sure what he's supposed to do with that newfound knowledge. "I wanna talk to Junmyeon now," Kris says when Luhan squawks in complaint. "He's my date, not yours, so I get to monopolize as much of his time as I want. And as long as he lets me. You're making him nervous and I promised I'd be his buffer."

"I can't tell if I'm proud of you or very offended that you think _I'm_ the one you're going to have to protect him from." Luhan flicks Kris in the ear. "I choose offended. But it's fine, I can always talk to Junmyeon later – he'll probably _want_ to talk to me." There's something unsettling about that statement. Junmyeon just can't figure out exactly what.

And then Luhan turns and eases himself into another conversation, easy as breathing. Junmyeon would be very focused on the fact that Luhan can just do that. Can just talk to other people he doesn't know without rehearsing the word _hello_ fifty thousand times in his brain because he's convinced he's going to fuck it up if he doesn't. He gets self-conscious just hearing Kris talk to business associates on the phone. He could never be that confident, not even if he got really drunk because he's actually a very sad drunk person and he likes to cry over videos of little puppies wobbling around on their little puppy legs.

Usually, all Junmyeon would be able to focus on is how good Luhan is at using his mouth to speak words at other people. But the words Luhan is speaking are in _French_. Junmyeon meets Kris' eyes just in time to see him mouth _Beaudroitsumont_ and they both burst into giggles.

He hides his face in his hands and half pretends half hopes that no one is looking at the two idiots cackling over nothing in the middle of a ballroom. Kris is gasping about how he's never laughed so hard at a gala – which is really, really nice - but Kris is also being so fucking shameless about it all. "You gotta," Junmyeon squeaks between giggles, "you gotta stop. We look so dumb right now."

"Yeah you do! We could hear you two from across the room!" Junmyeon startles, falling against Kris' side. His blood pressure is not happy but at least he's stopped laughing. He peeks between his fingers; he's seen these two people before. Not sure where, but he's definitely seen them. "Junmyeon, I'm hoping? Yes! Awesome! Well, it's very nice to meet you, Junmyeon. I'm Baekhyun and this my husband, Yixing. We have been _so excited_ to meet you all night!"

Baekhyun is _a lot_. Somewhere in all that talking, he'd managed to sit down on Junmyeon's left, tug his husband to sit down next to him, and pull Junmyeon into a hug.

It's a lot for him to handle. He's very, very good at being ignored. Being the center of attention, especially when the attention is coming from someone so energetic, makes his smile feel a little forced and his chest go tight. And that usually means something Very Bad is going to happen the near future. His heart is already galloping in his chest and his breaths come a little shorter than he'd like.

But then Kris is squeezing his hand underneath the table with one hand and batting away Baekhyun with the other. "And I thought Luhan was the one I had to worry about stressing Junmyeon out. You okay?"

"Uh-huh."

He will be, at least, now that Baekhyun has leaned back in his chair and is doing his best to give him space. Yixing still leans over his husband to shake Junmyeon's hand, but that's easy peasy lemon squeezy compared to Hurricane Baekhyun. "I've heard a lot of good things about you, Junmyeon. And seen good things too. You and Kris came to our restaurant on your first date so Baekhyun and I are kind of attached to you already. Not for anything weird, just that you ordered soup at one of the nicest restaurants in town."

"I like soup," Junmyeon mumbles, "and it was really good soup."

"I'm glad you liked it." Yixing shakes his head and smiles, dimples popping out. Junmyeon remembers Yixing and Baekhyun from the restaurant now, just a brief flash of them when Kris was leading him out, but he _knows_ he's seen that smile somewhere else. Or it's deja vu. He has that pretty bad sometimes.

Junmyeon looks to Kris for help. The conversation is at a standstill and this isn't like at Kris' apartment where he can start cracking awful jokes to get around that awkward pause. This is Advanced Awkward because he doesn't know these people or how he's really supposed to act at a gala. So far he's stolen multiple trays of food and laughed at a man in his father’s sex harness, but he and everyone else are dressed to the nines or whatever the expression is and the dinner set-up has like three forks.

He's getting some mixed signals here.

Kris is staring across the table in well-disguised horror though. The man he's staring at looks absolutely fucking ecstatic to be sitting at the same table as Kris, and then he looks over at Yixing and nearly combusts. "Mr. Wu! Mr. Zhang! I was hoping I'd be able to catch you two!" Baekhyun, Yixing, Luhan, and Kris all share a look of irritation. Poor guy, Junmyeon would probably burst into tears if that was directed at him.

"Fuck me with a rake," Kris hisses. He ducks behind the centerpiece and rests his head on Junmyeon's shoulder. "Well, there goes having a nice dinner with you. Or having dinner at all. I'm probably going to manage a bite between talking to him and trying to keep his attention off Yixing."

Junmyeon shuffles and pulls a rolled-up gallon ziplock bag out of his pocket. He was a boy scout, always be prepared. He’s got a few little sandwich bags in his pocket socks too. "You can probably fit whatever they give you in here. I have like another two or three on me if you need more."

He's not expecting the kiss, but he doesn't mind it. "You're a fucking gorgeous human being, Junmyeon. A genius ahead of his time. What would I do without you?"

"Not have dinner?"

"Fair enough. But still, you are a god among men. Savior of my stomach and my patience." Kris is so dramatic. Junmyeon shouldn't find it so cute. Really, he shouldn't. But he does, he really really does. "Baekhyun was actually a lit major in college too. You guys might have something to talk about while the rest of us suffer under the weight of stupidity."

Junmyeon's not sure what Kris and Luhan are being forced to talk about as they try to sneak in bites of food, but Yixing doesn't say a single word the entire night unless he leans in very, very close to Baekhyun and starts a weird game of telephone to get his message to Kris or Luhan. Chadderan, which is a fucking ridiculous name and his parents should be locked up for forcing their son to carry that around for the rest of his life, talks and talks and talks.

It's like Jongdae if Jongdae wasn't so lovable and funny and had the personality of a wet bran flake. Junmyeon listens to maybe thirty seconds of their conversation and decides that Chadderan is like that Normal Spongebob episode. He talks about the weather, and sports, and the news, and _nothing else._ All he does is small talk, but he doesn’t seem to understand that small talk is meant to be _small._

Thank fucking god he gets to talk to Baekhyun. Junmyeon goes from being a little terrified of Baekhyun and all his energy to being one hundred percent ready to marry him if ever asked in five seconds. Seven if he accounts for the time it took his brain to comprehend how fucking smart Baekhyun is. Baekhyun is a literature god. And not for analytical genius or anything, even though Baekhyun could probably tear apart any text he’s given, but because he just _understands_.

“The thing with literature is that we hold it up to be this grand thing, right? Like literature courses study classic novels or books surrounding a certain theme. It’s always books, always traditionally published literature that was written to spread a message or something. But you know what literature was originally for? To _entertain!_ ” Baekhyun speaks with his hands. It’s kind of cute, because Yixing is so in tune with his husband that he moves with Baekhyun’s arms in perfect time. “I understand the need for analyzing literature, I did it for four years in college! But I think the field as a whole needs to take a step back and remember that you’re supposed to enjoy reading! You’re supposed to be able to read things and just enjoy the story at face value.”

Junmyeon taps Kris on the shoulder and interrupts whatever conversation Chadderan was trying to start about golf. It was going to go nowhere anyway, Kris fucking _hates_ golf. “I’m going to marry Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says. “We’re going to get married and I’m just going to listen to him talk about literature all day.”

Baekhyun laughs and starts tugging Junmyeon’s chair over, cackling like a swamp witch. “I’ve done it, Yixing, I’ve caught the boy!”

“Nope!” Junmyeon nearly falls face first out of his chair when Kris yanks it back towards him. “You’ve already got Yixing and whoever your internet boyfriend is; you don’t get Junmyeon too. I can talk literature better than you can anyway – books have lots of words in them.”

It’s not that funny, but Junmyeon laughs anyway. Maybe because he’s getting tired and the alfredo they served for dinner was so fucking delicious that it made his gut tell his brain to give him that sweet, sweet serotonin and dopamine. Or maybe he’s just starting to get used to Kris’ awful jokes. Kris is used to his, so it seems like a pretty fair trade.

He yawns not even a few seconds later though. Junmyeon is really fucking tired, actually. “You ready to go,” Kris asks. Junmyeon nods. He’d love to stay and chat. Which is usually a lie because chatting is not his forte. But is actually pretty truthful now. Kris’ friends are more like Junmyeon’s friends than he thought they’d be, funny, weird, and full of inside jokes and dynamics that don’t make sense to anyone but them. It’s cute, kind of interesting to know why Kris just accepts the wild stories Junmyeon tells him about his own friends.

They tell everyone goodnight a few minutes later, Junmyeon yawning like he’s literally three seconds and a flat surface away from falling asleep. Not a bad simile either. He ends up with Baekhyun’s number and a promise to have a coffee date in a week or two to talk more about literature. Baekhyun leans in as they’re exchanging numbers. “I hope you stick around, Junmyeon, Kris really likes you.”

He knows that all of Kris’ friends know what he is to Kris. Kris told him that before he even agreed to meet them. But that doesn’t even seem to cross their minds. It’s like Junmyeon is just Kris’ date, not a companion or a sugar baby, just a date.

Junmyeon is really, really tired. That’s all. It’s just being tired. That’s why he says, “I really like him too.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junmyeon rolls over in bed with a groan and tries to suffocate himself with his own pillow. It'll either block out the noise or kill him, which are both excellent options right now. He peeks out from underneath the pillow to check the clock and groans even louder when he sees that it's not even eleven yet. Why, for all that is holy and unholy in the world, are Chanyeol and Jongdae playing Mario Kart before eleven in the fucking morning?
> 
> He stayed up until three on the phone with Kris so he wouldn't be sitting all alone in an airport by himself. Junmyeon chalks it up to being a good sugar baby and not because the idea of Kris sitting sad and alone in airport makes his heart twist painfully in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're starting on the angst train...choo choo... Anyway, thank you all so much for the support and love that you've given this story. We have about 3-4 more chapters to go (and I haven't finished writing them all...AHHHH) because I didn't want this to be a super angsty story when I could just have it be some Idiots In Love. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! (I'm a little scatterbrained at the moment, still coming down from finals week and moving out of my dorm and stuff)
> 
> As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi!](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18) Thank you for being the best beta in the whole world and making time to edit all my fics <3 (and for making me realize I forgot to put Jongin in this story klasjdfaslkjfd)

"See you in hell, Jongdae!"

"You tell them who sent you!"

Junmyeon rolls over in bed with a groan and tries to suffocate himself with his own pillow. It'll either block out the noise or kill him, which are both excellent options right now. He peeks out from underneath the pillow to check the clock and groans even louder when he sees that it's not even eleven yet. Why, for all that is holy and unholy in the world, are Chanyeol and Jongdae playing Mario Kart before eleven in the fucking morning?

He stayed up until three on the phone with Kris so he wouldn't be sitting all alone in an airport by himself. Junmyeon chalks it up to being a good sugar baby and not because the idea of Kris sitting sad and alone in airport makes his heart twist painfully in his chest.

He deserves to sleep in as late as he wants. Even if he knows Kris is coming to pick him up sometime after his plane lands and will probably just want to sleep off the jet lag with a full eight-hour power nap. Junmyeon still wants to sleep in now.

"I got the bullet! Suck my dick, Yeol!"

"No! I only suck one dick and that's Soo's! Isn't that right, babe?"

"Minseok," he whines, "make them stop existing!" There's laughter from Sehun's bed. Which is strange, because Sehun is supposed to be getting ready for his first date with his internet boyfriends. "Hunnie, are you still in bed?"

Junmyeon pulls the pillow off his face and looks over to see Sehun sitting up and blinking blearily at the mid-morning sun. "Yeah, I always get up late on Sundays, you know that. It's my sleepy day." Silence descends on the room. Junmyeon decides he'd rather let Sehun figure this out on his own.

One.

Two.

Three.

"My _date!_ Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Why didn't any of you assholes wake me up?" Junmyeon giggles as Sehun leaps out of bed and scrambles to put on clothes that don't smell. "I'm not gonna have any time to shower! Come on, you guys! I wanted to make a really good impression and now they're gonna think I'm gross!"

The bedroom door creaks open and Minseok sticks his head in, hair still messy from sleep but eyes crinkled in amusement. "We thought Junmyeon was gonna wake you up."

"Nuh-uh, I said I was staying up with Kris," Junmyeon mumbles. He rolls further into his blanket cocoon. He is a beautiful blanket caterpillar who will one day turn into a blanket butterfly. Probably when Kris comes to pick him up because he got a really soft blanket from the store a few days ago and Kris hasn't gotten to feel it yet. Kris _has_ to feel it. He's like a fabric goblin; if he finds out Junmyeon has a new, cool fabric and hasn't let him touch it, he'll get sad and pouty. Junmyeon doesn't want him to get sad and pouty. Ergo, he has to bring the new blanket for Kris to feel.

Somewhere in his thought process, he realizes that he has yeeted the original train of thought into the abyss. It will likely never be seen again. Kris says it's cute when he does that. Probably because most of the thoughts that get derailed around Kris are Junmyeon getting distracted by how handsome he is.

And how much he likes him.

"Oh." Minseok shrugs. "Guess you gotta grow up sometime then, Sehun. Your boyfriends are real adults, aren't they? They probably don't need someone else to wake them up."

Sehun screams in the back of his throat. His mouth is closed too. Junmyeon wonders if Sehun was a teapot in his past life. He probably would've made really good tea; he's good at making tea now, at least. "They are _married!_ They probably help each other wake up every morning! I don't have anyone to wake me up but you guys!"

Mario Kart ends as Chanyeol devolves into angered screeching and Jongdae's cackles glide down the hallway until Jongdae appears in the doorway, pressing himself along Minseok's back. "Good morning. Sehun didn't wake up on time for his date, huh? You were right, babe, we should've woken him up."

Junmyeon giggles sleepily into his pillow and tries to fall back asleep. "That was mean, Minnie," he says, "you know Sehun doesn't set alarms on the weekend. And we all know you wake Jongdae up every morning."

"Jongdae is my boyfriend. You can't use that against me."

"But I am your _child_ ," Sehun whines, "child trumps boyfriend!" He's got his pants halfway up his legs and Junmyeon realizes that Sehun's boxers have ridden up to the point where his dick is perfectly visible from Junmyeon's angle. He considers telling Sehun that. But he doesn't.

Minseok cackles. It sounds like Jongdae. Demons. Absolute demons. "You're so whiny. And that's saying something because I'm dating Jongdae and all he ever does is whine." Jongdae, of course, whines in response. Junmyeon suddenly misses Kris and he's not sure why, but he rubs at the ache in his chest and frowns. No one notices. "Go hop in the shower. Kyungsoo and I were kind enough to throw some of your clothes in the laundry this morning so you wouldn't go on your date all gross."

Junmyeon forces himself to sit up just as Sehun sprints out of their room and into the bathroom. And then there's a loud thud when Sehun loses his balance because his pants were only halfway up his legs. Junmyeon giggles his way through a yawn.

Then he yawns his way through a yawn. And another yawn after that. Eight hours of sleep isn't really eight hours when it’s from three to eleven. There's probably studies to back that up too.

When he finally manages to shuffle his way into the living room, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are playing something on their 3DS's together. Animal Crossing, if Junmyeon knows them – and he does. Kyungsoo only likes non-competitive video games and Chanyeol just likes making Kyungsoo happy. So, Animal Crossing.

Kris would probably like Animal Crossing.

"Good morning, Junmyeon," Kyungsoo calls from where he's lying on the opposite end of the couch from Chanyeol, their legs tangled together under a blanket. "Sleep well?" Junmyeon feels a bittersweet smile spread across his face.

But he just shrugs. "It was okay. Just hungry now."

"Pancakes are on the counter. Chanyeol and I woke up early and felt like cooking so we made enough for all of you guys." Junmyeon smiles a real smile. He lives across the hallway from angels. Real, actual, heaven-sent angels. "No syrup though."

Junmyeon turns around from where he'd been hobbling to the kitchen in search of pancakes like a starving wolf searching for food at the low-level irritation in Kyungsoo's voice. Who gets that upset over syrup?

But then Chanyeol is whining, "When they said pour syrup over your lover's body I thought they meant any kind of syrup! I didn't realize it just had to be chocolate syrup!"

"Did...did you pour maple syrup on Kyungsoo? Like sticky, gross maple syrup?" Junmyeon almost doesn't want to know the answer. But also he _needs_ to hear the answer. Chanyeol nods, pouting at the screen of his DS and grumbling something about having poor reading comprehension.

"Took me three hours to get it out of my hair," Kyungsoo says, " _All_ of my hair." Lord in heaven.

Junmyeon scurries to the kitchen and begs his brain to not create the mental image it's trying to create. He knows what Kyungsoo's dick looks like by virtue of being best friends for the past few years, but he does _not_ need to even imagine what his dick might look like covered in maple syrup. Oh god, maple syrup in the _pubes_. Fire, hellfire, this fire in his skin.

"I'm gonna throw up."

"Not on the pancakes, please," Minseok shouts from somewhere in the apartment. "I haven't eaten any yet! Neither has Dae, so please don't eat them all."

Oops. Junmyeon looks up from where he's hunched over the pancakes, half of one hanging from his mouth. Not his fault he got his dirty hands all over the pancakes. Minseok should've told him not to eat them all beforehand.

That's what he tells himself, at least.

"Is he eating them all?"

Kyungsoo looks up from his DS and snorts, lips curling into a smile at Junmyeon staring back at him over the counter. Junmyeon chews the pancake in his mouth resolves not to feel embarrassed. He gets to eat pancakes too, goddammit.

"Yeah!"

Minseok curses but Jongdae is already laughing. Something about Junmyeon and unsupervised food. Junmyeon has a distinct flash of running around that gala last month to get Kris sushi. He smiles down at the plate of pancakes. "I mean, we weren't gonna go get pancakes for a while anyway, Minnie. Because we're having _sex!_ " The happiness bubble pops and Junmyeon grimaces because his roommates are fucking nasty. Even Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, who have allegedly been caught by Jongdae doing things Junmyeon won't let Sehun hear about.

He eventually hobbles back over to the couch and throws himself down between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo pats his hair and then goes back to playing his video game, completely unbothered by how Junmyeon is double-fisting pancakes with one still hanging out of his mouth. Chanyeol notices though, and he giggles, “Are you really that hungry? Doesn’t your sugar daddy feed you?” Kyungsoo giggles and Junmyeon feels him kick at Chanyeol under the blanket. “I’m just kidding, don’t kick me!”

Junmyeon grunts between bites. It feels wrong to call Kris his sugar daddy. Even though that is literally what he is. Junmyeon doesn’t see him like that. Kris is just Kris. Goofy, sweet, smart Kris. Yes, he and Kris end up cooking together in Kris’ kitchen nearly every night now – the final magazine was shredded a month ago and Junmyeon whined until Kris agreed to start putting his state-of-the-art kitchen to use. But that’s just what they do. It’s a trade; if Junmyeon cooks, Kris cleans and vice versa, or they cook and clean together.

There’s something uncomfortable in the pit of his stomach and he grumbles quietly. Kris is just Kris; they’re not just a sugar baby and sugar daddy, right? He knows they are, somewhere, but he doesn’t want to _know_ it.

So he changes the subject. “How’s school going? I haven’t talked to you guys in a while.”

“Been going alright,” Chanyeol says, “Turns out that I have enough credits to graduate next semester, so I’m going to. Little stressful, but there’s a really good studio that’s been in contact with me about a possible job. So it’s not like I’m gonna just graduate and be fucked, you know?”

Junmyeon feels his jaw drop. “You’re graduating early? And you might be getting another job? That’s incredible! When did you find all that out?” Guilt bubbles in his belly. Has he been that preoccupied with Kris? He’s tried to balance things and Kris has been so busy that it hasn’t felt like they’ve been spending _too_ much time together. But maybe? Is he?

“Just this past week about the graduation thing. And I didn’t want to mention anything about the studio in case it looked like it wasn’t going to pan out. You haven’t been, like, an absent friend or anything, Junmyeon.” Junmyeon and Chanyeol share a smile and Junmyeon stretches out between him and Kyungsoo to feed Chanyeol a pancake. “Fuck yeah, food!”

Kyungsoo laughs. Junmyeon rolls over so Kyungsoo can worm his foot out from underneath him and poke Chanyeol in the side with his toes. “You just ate like six pancakes today! You’re gonna make yourself sick.” Chanyeol whines about being tall and needing lots of food and Kyungsoo calls him a big, whiny baby. “We brought them over for our _friends_ to have some, not for you to eat them all!”

“It was offered out of the kindness of Junmyeon’s heart! Am I supposed to turn away a gift?”

“You’re _impossible_!” But Kyungsoo is smiling and staring at Chanyeol so fondly. Junmyeon feels a little out of place, a little lonely. “So how has Kris been? Is he treating you well?”

Chanyeol starts laughing and Junmyeon feels his face go from faint blush to overripe tomato red in half a second. “He’s fine,” Junmyeon squeaks. He smacks Chanyeol and tells him to _stop fucking laughing at him._ “He’s on a business trip, so I haven’t seen him in a week, but he says it was pretty productive.”

“You guys talk a lot?”

Junmyeon thinks of how many times his phone has dinged over the past week with a message from Kris, whining about his meetings are boring and how he’d rather be home. He thinks of how many times he’s responded and told Kris to focus on his meeting, only to give in when he begs. Kris is his best friend on Snapchat now. Minseok is appalled, but Kris sends Junmyeon a snap every day saying that he’s working on getting all the Snapchat medals and Junmyeon kind of prefers that to pictures of Jongdae. “Yeah, I guess so.”

There’s a knock on the front door and they all freeze, looking between each other. “Go get it,” Kyungsoo hisses at Chanyeol, “Sehun’s still in the shower and we can’t leave his boyfriends out there!”

“ _Me_? I don’t even live here! You go get the door, Junmyeon!” Junmyeon shakes his head.

“Not me, nu-uh. No way.” He doesn’t do interaction with new people. He doesn’t have to get the door for new people. It’s in the Rules. No one gets to call Sehun stupid and no one gets to make Junmyeon answer the door. Except Kyungsoo and Chanyeol live across the hall and are therefore heathens who live outside the reach of the Rules.

Chanyeol kicks him off the couch and whisper-yells, “Go! They might leave if they think he’s not home or something!” Junmyeon blinks up at him from the floor, hating his life, and gravity, and how they’ve all been too lazy to vacuum the living room rug so he’s lying in weeks of dead skin cells.

He pushes himself up off the floor when another knock comes. He is petty, and if this had been for anyone but Sehun, he would just lie on the floor and refuse to get up out of sheer petty power. But Sehun is his son – Ms. Oh has designated Minseok and Junmyeon as Sehun’s honorary parents when he’s away at college, that is his _child_.

Junmyeon whines the whole way to the door, shuffling and dragging his feet. He doesn’t _want_ to answer the door and meet Sehun’s boyfriends. God, he still doesn’t understand how Sehun managed to get _two_ boyfriends. He knows that he almost dumped them when he found out the boyfriends were married to each other. Junmyeon will remember Sehun crying into a tub of ice cream about being a side hoe fondly – because Sehun is not, in fact a side hoe. The married couple wanted Sehun to be a part of them. Jongdae calls them the Borgs, which is not nice, but it _is_ nice that they are very, very emotionally invested in Sehun as a partner.

If the whole thing had been a plot to just have a pretty, young thing on the side, Junmyeon would be in jail because, well, they hurt Sehun and that’s just not allowed. But they didn’t, and so Junmyeon isn’t.

Sehun soon transitioned from worrying about being insignificant to his boyfriends to making a giant idiot out of himself in front of them. When they asked him on a date, Sehun came running to Junmyeon for help. Which is a Bad Move, because Junmyeon has no goddamn idea how he managed to win Kris over. That date was a Hot Mess Express. Junmyeon resorted to the most cliché advice ever, which was _just be yourself._ Minseok agreed. Jongdae said suck their dicks. Junmyeon told him not to listen to Jongdae – not on the first date, at least. Not for anything slut-shamey or anything, but because Sehun is nervous and that means more jaw tension.

Junmyeon ended up giving him Zitao’s number and telling him to go beg the master for wisdom.

Junmyeon stops at the front door with a sigh, staring at the doorknob. He doesn’t want to answer the door, but Sehun’s boyfriends are on the other side and they’re knocking _again._ He’d never forgive himself if he fucked this up for Sehun. So he opens the door just as he hears the shower shut off. _Of course_. Sehun has lovely timing.

Junmyeon pulls the door open anyway. And the whole world freezes. Baekhyun is there, fist poised to knock, and they lock eyes. Neither moves. Yixing looks between them, blinking quickly. No one knows what to do. Junmyeon enters panic mode level seven and _shrieks_ , because his brain decided that was the correct course of action to take. Baekhyun shrieks back, but he’s smiling. Because of course he is. Baekhyun is a godless creature that Junmyeon is sometimes not entirely sure is a real human being. He’s lovely. Junmyeon wouldn’t have gone out to coffee with him earlier this week if he wasn’t lovely, but he is also fucking _terrifying._

And he and Yixing are also Sehun’s boyfriends. Junmyeon shrieks again and slams the door in their faces. He walks robotically back to his room and falls face-first onto the bed, screaming the whole way.

Somewhere, Chanyeol is shouting and someone is opening the door because Junmyeon can hear Baekhyun shouting too. He wants to die, just a little. He’s not even sure _why_ he slammed the door in their faces. It’s not embarrassing to have them around. He doesn’t think that _any_ of his connections to Kris are shameful. That’d be fucking ridiculous. And it’s not like he doesn’t think they’ll treat Sehun right. He knows they will; Kris makes a point not to interact with assholes in his private life. Junmyeon’s a socially awkward disaster. And not one of those ‘hehe I’m awkward X3’ demons from the internet, but like a full-blown disaster whose inability to navigate social situations cause him Big Problems.

He admits, to his pillow and no one else, that seeing Yixing and Baekhyun made him think of Kris and he really misses Kris.

“Uh, Sehun,” Chanyeol calls, “your boyfriends are here.” Sehun screams from the bathroom and yells something about keeping them busy because he’s all wet.

“We don’t mind you being wet!” There’s a thump and Baekhyun whining. “Yixing says I’m not allowed to make sex jokes about you. Is that true?” Sehun just screams again. Junmyeon buries his head under his pillow and prays that Baekhyun and Yixing are too preoccupied with Sehun to remember that Junmyeon also lives in this house. He also prays for the end, but when isn’t he praying for the end?

Footsteps pad down the hall and stop next to Junmyeon’s bed. “Kris said you were a little spastic. He also said it’s very cute. I’m happy to see he’s right about both.” Great, Baekhyun and Yixing certainly did _not_ forget about him. And he’s _still_ alive. God, can’t you give him just one good day? Just answer one little prayer?

Junmyeon peeks out from under his pillow and there’s Baekhyun kneeling down next time, smiling wide. Junmyeon pulls the pillow down over his face again and wonders if screaming quietly is an acceptable behavior. It should be. Screaming quietly is an excellent way of dealing with stress in his opinion. But he doesn’t do it now, because he is technically a grown adult and that’s not how grown adults deal with things, or so he’s been told.

“Did we scare you or something? Or is it kinda weird to have like the two halves of your life mix together? Do your roommates know about Kris? Is he a dirty little secret? Oh my god, please tell me he is.”

Junmyeon sighs and finally throws the pillow off, sitting up and looking anywhere but Baekhyun. “They all know about Kris; he’s not – I’m not ashamed of him or like anything like that. I’m just…just,” he gestures vaguely, “I don’t mean to be, I just am.” Kris knows. Kris once watched him mess up ordering at Starbucks and then hide in the bathroom to cry about it for five minutes because he knew he looked so dumb and that _everyone_ noticed. Kris messed up his order even worse on purpose. “I’m working on it.” And he is. It’s hard, but he’s working on it and he hasn’t started crying over this yet, so that’s progress.

Baekhyun hums in thought and then pats Junmyeon on the back. "I still make Yixing order takeout for me over the phone. I think everyone is kinda like that, no shame in it. And I'm not gonna say that you don't have to worry when it's me and Yixing - you don't! You don't have to worry, but I know that's not going to make your brain say any different. But we really, really like Sehun, and he's way more of a spaz than you. So there's that."

Junmyeon laughs. It comes up from his belly and makes him shake, pulling the pillow off his face and looking, actually, truly looking Baekhyun in the eye. "How _did_ you meet Sehun?" Like he knows how, because he's been Sehun's honorary parent since he started college and Sehun only started talking to Yixing online earlier this semester. But how _did_ Yixing end up meeting Sehun?

"Honestly? Really long story." Junmyeon smiles softly and the ugly weight that had been hiding out in his chest lifts as Baekhyun lets the topic fade away and die. Baekhyun looks like he's going to launch into the story anyway, but then the bathroom door clicks open and he freezes. He stands up and starts straightening his out his clothes like a nervous teenager and not a married man with a successful career. Yixing appears in the doorway and looks just as nervous.

It's sweet. Sehun's boyfriends are sweet.

Something pangs in his chest at the word _boyfriend_. He realizes Sehun will probably be at the next party-gala-thing. But he'll be introduced as Baekhyun's and Yixing's boyfriend. Not just a date. Someone permanent and special. Not just a _date._

Junmyeon half-fakes a smile as Sehun shuffles out of the bathroom, across the hall, and into the bedroom with a red face and wet hair. He looks at the ground as he introduces himself to Baekhyun and Yixing. He goes for a handshake. "I've seen your dick, Hunnie, I think I deserve a hug at least," Baekhyun says with a smile and pulls Sehun in for a hug that Sehun returns in a daze. "You're even more handsome in person. I told you he'd be, Yixing."

"I never said you were wrong, I just said don't put him on a pedestal in your mind. He's a person, not a trophy." Baekhyun looks Sehun up and down and Junmyeon giggles as Yixing sighs, "Do _not_ ask him how he feels about being a trophy husband." Baekhyun huffs and Sehun is smiling, face fading from bright red to light pink. "Oh, and hello, Junmyeon. Lovely to see you. Will you be here when we come back or do you think Kris' flight will have landed by then?"

Oh right, Sehun doesn't know they know Kris. Wait, is Sehun now a sugar baby by technicality or is that label defunct because he's actually in a loving, committed relationship with Baekhyun and Yixing? And there's that pain again.

"Depends on how late you'll be out. Kris' connection was at eight and it was like a four or five hour flight, so he won't land for another hour or two. And I don't know when he's gonna pick me up so..."

Baekhyun laughs. "As soon as his flight lands, probably." He and Yixing share a look that Junmyeon doesn't understand and then one of them tells Sehun they've known Kris for years.

"Wait, am I a sugar baby now," Sehun asks.

Yixing blinks and then shakes his head. "I think the label boyfriend trumps the label of sugar baby." Sehun nods, smiles, and shares a sweet look with both of his boyfriends. Junmyeon feels uncomfortably like an outsider. A stranger intruding on an intimate moment.

He thinks that maybe he should leave and give them space, but then Baekhyun is saying that they should probably go. They all bid Junmyeon goodbye and leave the apartment holding hands. Junmyeon watches from the hallway and wonders why his mouth won't smile for them. Does that make him a bad person? He doesn't know why it hurts to watch them but he thinks that makes him a bad person.

Kyungsoo waves at him from the couch. He and Chanyeol are looking at him with strange, sympathetic smiles. They pat for him to come sit between them. "Wanna watch us play Mario," Kyungsoo asks. And his smile is so sad and pitying. Junmyeon doesn't understand why. "Chanyeol has been teaching me how to be an excellent respawn point."

"The _best_ respawn point. And the prettiest." Junmyeon huffs out a quiet laugh as the smile on Kyungsoo's face brightens and his cheeks blush pink. But he nods and Kyungsoo goes to set everything up. "So another hour or two, right, Jun?" Junmyeon nods absentmindedly. "Sounds good."

"Thank you," Junmyeon says, even though he's not quite sure what he's thanking them for.

Kyungsoo is a wonderful respawn point, and he hands his controller over to Chanyeol the second Chanyeol runs out of lives so he can keep playing. It's sweet. It makes Junmyeon feel worse, somehow. An hour and thirty-two minutes after Kyungsoo and Chanyeol start a new file on Super Mario, his phone dings.

**From: Kris**

_Outside your building_

Junmyeon remembers leaping off the couch and rushing to get dressed and brush his teeth as fast as he can. "Bye," he calls as he disappears out the door with his shoes in hand. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol watch him go with nearly identical smiles and he smiles back. A real smile.

Jongdae and Minseok are still having sex, but he hears muffled goodbyes from their room too.

Kris is right at the curb when Junmyeon runs out the door of the apartment building. The car window is rolled down and Kris is staring out the window, scanning the sidewalk like he expects Junmyeon to just magically appear. His face breaks into a smile when he sees Junmyeon though. He grins so wide and Junmyeon can feel himself mirror it.

He runs across the sidewalk with bare feet. Like an idiot. The sidewalk is freezing cold under his feet, but it fades away when he slides into the passenger seat of Kris' car. The window is already rolled up to keep the heat in, but Junmyeon doesn't even notice. How can he when Kris is right here? "Hey."

Kris leans across the console and cups Junmyeon's cheek to press their lips together. Junmyeon leans into it. He missed it so much. He didn't realize how much he missed it. "Hey," Kris whispers as he pulls away. Junmyeon chases after for just a second and Kris giggles. "Missed you. You were the only thing I could think about when the plane was landing."

Junmyeon's chest doesn't hurt anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junmyeon sits up. He squeaks as big hands wrap around his waist and pull him to sit comfortably in Kris’ lap. Kris holds him tight. He presses kisses to his temple and hums a Christmas song Junmyeon can’t remember. The low light reflects off the Christmas tree set up in the corner of the living room. Junmyeon smiles, closing his eyes to watch the memory of the two of them putting it up together last weekend play behind his eyelids. When he opens his eyes, he sees that the star is just as crooked as it was when he first put it in place. He remembers apologizing and Kris cackling about the star reminding him of Mufasa before the stampede.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the angst train...choo choo! (wanna hear something hilarious? I was discussing how I wanted to end this story with Aarushi and it turned out that I couldn't remember what chapter I was working on. I am Losing My Mind.) 
> 
> Thank you all for the love and support you've given this fic! It'll probably be finished by the end of June (sad, right?)
> 
> As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18) for being the best beta in the world and putting up with me <3

Finals week comes and brings hell down upon Junmyeon like the ancient furies of old. Or it used to. Finals week _usually_ brings down hell and brings up every moment Junmyeon was a bad noodle and wasted time being an idiot who didn’t do their homework. He’s usually running around like an idiot, shrieking about the end of days and crying because he has to study for final exams while writing final papers and planning for when he is finally removed from the tortuous mortal coil.

Kris makes it better.

He encourages Junmyeon to be a good noodle – the _best_ noodle. Some nights Junmyeon would come over, ready to spend time with Kris and essentially earn his keep, and then remember that he had a paper or a test or an assignment that was just about to roundhouse him in the neck. And Kris would frog-march him to the dining table or the couch or, sometimes if he was very, very lucky, Kris’ desk, and tell him that education is important. And he did his work as best as he could, because he wanted Kris to be proud of him.

He doesn’t tell Kris that though. That part of the reason he studies so hard is because Kris gives him giant, squeezing hugs and says that he’s so proud whenever Junmyeon comes back with an A.

When finals week came, Junmyeon thought that it would be a Kris-free week. Kris probably wouldn’t want Junmyeon in his apartment, always thirty seconds away from tears and surrounded by mounds of notes and textbooks.

Kris invites him over for the entire weekend before finals week instead. “I want to help you study,” he says when he calls Junmyeon after Junmyeon’s last class of the semester. “You said finals week stresses you out and I want to help you.” He sounds so sincere, so sweet, and Junmyeon’s whole face feels like it’s on fire. His stomach fills up with bees instead of butterflies. “If you have any plans to study with Minseok, Jongdae, or Sehun I understand, but my apartment is open.”

Junmyeon laughs. Minseok? Study? He has a photographic memory. He’s going to spend all of final’s week binge-watching _Great British Bake-Off_ and laughing as he watches Junmyeon and Jongdae struggle. Or maybe he’ll help Jongdae study and laugh as Junmyeon struggles. Both are very likely options.

And Sehun is going to Baekhyun and Yixing’s house for finals week. Junmyeon gets stressed during finals week, but Sehun becomes incapable of taking care of himself. Junmyeon gave Baekhyun and Yixing his blessing to take care of Sehun for the week, sending him off last night with a list tried and true methods to calm Sehun down when he decides to drop out of college and join the circus.

“I…I’d like to come over. Can you pick me up after work tonight?”

The smile on Kris’ face is almost audible, “Nothing would make me happier. I’ll be there by five-thirty. Have a good day, baby.” Junmyeon mumbles a goodbye and hangs up, burying his face in his hands and hoping that his face will eventually cool down. He has never been so glad that theory of mind is a thing and that other people can’t hear what’s inside his head.

Because his head is replaying _baby_ over and over and over. Because he is a glutton for punishment and it feels nice when Kris calls him _baby_.

* * *

 

The studying starts right away. Junmyeon got a kiss in the car when Kris picked him up and they held hands in the drive-thru of Burger King because it’s Kris’ one day of absolute garbage food for the month. But the moment they step into the apartment, Kris steers him to the couch and tells him to get out all the stuff he’ll need to study.

“But I just got here,” Junmyeon whines. Kris is all the way across the apartment, unpacking their food and _not_ pulling off his tie or pulling of his blazer like he does when he’s getting ready to cuddle. “I can start studying a little later.”

Kris shakes his head. He comes back to Junmyeon to put his burger and share of the fries down on the coffee table; he dances away when Junmyeon reaches for him though. Kris laughs and shakes his head again. “Which one of us cried over his last chemistry test? Not me.” Junmyeon pouts. He’d only cried a little bit. And that’s not fair, using a moment of weakness against him. “If I start cuddling with you, neither of us will want to stop and then how will you study? If you have any flashcards or notes you want me to quiz you on, I’m happy to help.”

Junmyeon wants to be mad. He wants to be grumpy. Kris invited him over just to withhold affection in the name of getting work done. But then Kris is ducking down to kiss him on the cheek. “I’m here for you if you start stressing yourself out, but not I’m gonna be the reason you don’t study, baby.” And Junmyeon’s a weak bitch. What is he supposed to do? Be mad that Kris is the nicest person on the planet?

Junmyeon huffs out a sigh and grabs his chemistry notes out of his backpack, pulling his legs up on the couch with him and starting to read. Kris hums, so goddamn happy, and kisses him on the cheek again. As much as Junmyeon loves it, he isn’t sure if he’ll survive the weekend if he gets a kiss every single time he does something good.

Kris disappears into the bedroom and leaves Junmyeon to his notes. Junmyeon watches the bedroom door close and pouts. Why did Kris invite him over if he just wanted Junmyeon to study? He could just as easily do that back home. Junmyeon looks over to the window and watches the snow fall. The view is nice, at least. If Kris came back out, it would be even nicer. But Kris is a real adult; he’s responsible and actually cares about Junmyeon’s future. Junmyeon grumbles and tries to focus on the different chemical reactions he’s supposed to memorize before Wednesday.

Is it bad – _needy_ – of him to want Kris’ attention? Just for a little bit? Maybe, he’s pretty sure Kris only puts up with him because he thinks he’s pretty or something.

“He’s not yours – you’re not _dating_. Remember that.” His words bounce back at him in the empty room and make his chest ache.

“Oh,” Kris calls from the bedroom. “I forgot I got you this!” Kris runs out in bright red and green button-up pajamas. The hems are a good two inches about his ankles and the sleeves don’t exactly hit his wrists. It still looks good though. It looks stupidly good. Junmyeon thinks that maybe Luhan and Baekhyun think that Kris should be the model for his own designs sometime. Junmyeon stops looking at Kris’ body to see what he’s holding out in his hands.

And it’s the same pajamas, Christmas tree pattern and all, hopefully in a smaller size. Junmyeon opens his mouth and can’t find the words he wants to say. His chest is all full of warm, squirmy feelings that make him feel like he might explode. It would be a good kind of exploding though, a wonderful way to go. Death by affection, not a bad way to go at all.

“Are those for me?”

Kris nods. “We can match! I know you like ugly Christmas sweaters, but there’s no way in hell I’ll be caught dead in one, so I thought ugly Christmas pajamas would be a good compromise.” Junmyeon isn’t crying. He is _not_ crying. He’s just allergic to kindness and forgot to take a Benadryl. “Do you like them?” Junmyeon nods.

“Give ‘em here,” Junmyeon says, “I’m gonna wear this all weekend.” Kris laughs and his cheeks get a little pink.

But he does wear them all weekend. He rushes into the bathroom and puts the ugly – _wonderful_ – pajamas on and refuses to take them off. Kris says they were just supposed to be a joke. Too bad. Junmyeon loves them and everything they stand for and will _not_ take them off. Kris snaps a selfie of the two of them on the couch later that evening, tired and snuggling as Junmyeon sleepily recites all that he knows about Gibbs free energy.

“Why,” Junmyeon mumbles and tucks his face against Kris’ neck. “No pictures, Kris. I wanna sleep.”

Kris laughs. He turns on his side and pulls Junmyeon closer, pressing kisses all over his face even when he whines and tries to swat him away. “No more, I promise. I just wanted to get one picture of us matching. I think we make a pretty cute couple, don’t you?” Junmyeon cracks open an eye and his heart cracks too. There, in Kris’ phone, they do look like a cute couple. They look like _a couple_. Junmyeon is smiling sleepily and Kris – he’s so fond. Kris looks so fond, like Junmyeon is his favorite person in the entire world.

Junmyeon mumbles something noncommittal and squeezes his eyes shut. He squeezes his eyes shut and hopes that maybe he can squeeze out all the hurt too.

* * *

 

Kris is the best thing that’s ever happened to Junmyeon. He knows this. He thinks Kris might know it too. Kris cheers him on as he studies, a self-appointed flashcard quizzer and textbook holder. After a full half hour goes by and Junmyeon can’t manage to get a single question right, he buries his face in his knees and cries. “Why am I taking chemistry when I’m majoring in fucking _literature?_ I’m so fucking stupid! God, I wanna die!”

The practice worksheets that are all marked-up in red pen to show his countless fucking mistakes are pulled out of his hands. Junmyeon looks up just in time to see Kris pushing all his textbooks and papers off the couch and onto coffee table. “Wha- I’m supposed to be studying,” he says as Kris pulls him close. “No cuddling, because it’ll distract me.”

Kris just shushes him and tips them both sideways on the couch. “Fuck studying. For now, at least. Just let me lo- lay here with you, please? Until you feel better?”

“How about after? Can I stay here with you even after I’m feeling better?” Kris laughs long and loud and presses a kiss to Junmyeon’s cheek, mumbling that he’s ridiculous. But he doesn’t say no. Kris just holds him until the tears dry up. He never says Junmyeon can’t stay.

Junmyeon picks at one of the buttons on Kris’ Christmas pajamas. He tilts his head up and his heart starts doing backflips in his chest. Kris is just smiling down at him like a sunbeam, one long-fingered hand brushing Junmyeon’s hair back. “You’re incredible, you know? Sometimes I look at you and it’s just like _wow_. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I don’t think I tell you that enough, but I am lucky, so, so lucky,” Kris leans in for one kiss, and then another, and then another. Junmyeon kisses him just _one_ more time.

“You too,” Junmyeon mumbles, “I’m lucky to have you too.” There’s more he wants to say, but the words get stuck in his throat. He isn’t sure he has the words for what he wants to say anyway.

Kris hums. Junmyeon rests his head on Kris’ chest and smiles. The sound echoes and calms him down, lulling him into half a dream. Kris chuckles and he whines, waving a hand to try and shut him up. “I think you’ve earned yourself a nap. I’ll set a timer for us.”

“My hero. A knight in ugly pajamas.” Kris laughs and Junmyeon laughs with him, squeaking when Kris pinches his side in retaliation.

* * *

 

Sunday morning, Kris puts all of Junmyeon’s books and study materials on top of the fridgeto give him some space from studying. Why can’t he take that space in Kris’ arms? They’re still in their matching pajamas, and Junmyeon spends the first hour after waking up trying to keep Kris in bed with him. When that doesn’t work, he attaches himself to Kris’ side and refuses to let him get anything done.

“You are a menace,” Kris says, but he doesn’t try to pull Junmyeon’s arms from around his waist. They shuffle around the apartment in bare feet and complain about cold floors. Junmyeon ends up stepping on the hems of Kris’ pants and slowly pulling them down his hips. “Menace!” Kris swats gently at Junmyeon’s hands.

Junmyeon wants to say that he’s Kris’ menace. That Kris has always known he was a menace. But he doesn’t. Because he’s not Kris’ menace, he’s not Kris’ at all.

The thought makes him pull his hands away and step back, stomach flipping uncomfortably. Kris turns around and tips his head to the side. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, baby, come back.” Junmyeon tries to smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He turns away, floundering for something to do. Anything to distract them both. But the part of the kitchen counter next to him is empty so he just ends up staring at the counter space and wringing his hands. “Junmyeon? If you don’t come to me I’m coming to you.”

“I’m fine,” Junmyeon stutters. Kris wraps him a hug anyway, squeezing him tight. It just makes him feel worse, because Kris is so wonderful and perfect and Junmyeon isn’t his. No matter how much he wants to be, Junmyeon isn’t his. “W-what do you wanna make for breakfast?”

Kris sighs. He rubs his hands up and down Junmyeon’s arms. He wants to say something. Junmyeon can feel it. But he doesn’t. Kris doesn’t say a single word, just turns Junmyeon around in his arms and holds him. Junmyeon leans into it, because like this he can almost pretend that they’re a real thing. That this isn’t temporary. God, when did he start caring so much about whether this thing with Kris was temporary? When did he starting care about Kris so much?

Eventually, Kris lets go. “You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right,” Kris murmurs into Junmyeon’s hair. “ _Anything_.”

“Yeah…I just don’t wanna talk right now. Okay? Maybe later?”

Kris nods. “Whenever you’re ready.” And Junmyeon realizes that he probably started caring for Kris from the moment the man opened his mouth and started being so infallibly good. How can he not care? “Cereal sound good for breakfast? We used all pancake mix last week when we tried to follow those pancake art videos.” Junmyeon nods and goes when Kris shoos over to the kitchen table. He watches Kris shuffle around the kitchen and make them breakfast. He pulls out the bowls, the cereal, the milk, and then turns to look at Junmyeon with the strangest smile.

“What,” Junmyeon asks.

“Nothing, just…I dunno, it’s nothing.”

Junmyeon and Kris don’t eat at the kitchen table. They never do. They tried once, but sitting across from each other was strange. Junmyeon doesn’t like being so far away from Kris. Kris doesn’t like being far away either. That’s how it seems, at least. Kris is always the first one to wrap an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder and pull him close. He’s the one who grabs the cereal bowls and gestures toward the couch. When Junmyeon sits on the couch first, Kris is the one to plop down next to him so close that their thighs touch. He’s the one who hands Junmyeon the bowl of cereal with a playful, “For you, my dear.”

Junmyeon smiles and tucks himself against Kris’ side, careful to not spill milk on the cushions. They eat cereal and watch the morning sky in content silence.

“So,” Kris starts. He trails off and shoves another spoonful of cereal in his mouth. Junmyeon hums to try and get him to finish, but he just shrugs with a smile. He taps the TV remote with a big toe, pressing button after button until music starts to float through the speakers. Kris hums along and rests his cheek on Junmyeon’s head, eyes scrunched up with happiness.

Junmyeon giggles quietly and closes his eyes. He listens to the music, Christmas music because Kris loves Christmas more than anyone else Junmyeon’s ever met. Because it’s Chris-tmas and Kris is so corny sometimes it physically hurts. When Junmyeon told Kris that, Kris parroted back the jokes Junmyeon had said the first time they met.

Junmyeon concedes that they are both very corny. Not that he’ll tell Kris that, because that would be admitting defeat.

He likes the Christmas music though. He likes that Kris isn’t self-conscious about his voice when it comes to Christmas music. He _really_ likes it when Kris raps Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. He has that last one on video and has _definitely_ sent it to Baekhyun. Kris called him a bully when he found out; he demanded kisses and an hour of Junmyeon sitting through a very strange Chinese drama as payment. It certainly wasn’t the worst hour of Junmyeon’s life.

“How are Sehun, Baekhyun, and Yixing doing,” Kris asks as in the transition from one song to the next. Junmyeon startles and blinks his eyes open. Kris grabs his hand and interlocks their fingers together with a squeeze but continues on. “I mean I hear _more_ than enough from Baek, but how’s Sehun feeling about it all? That’s a pretty big shock, you know? It seemed like he was pretty cool with our relationship but it’s always different when it’s your own life.”

Junmyeon stopped paying attention after Kris asked how they were doing. He knows Kris is saying something else, probably elaborating further. But he doesn’t hear it. The words are just nonsensical mumblings, like the adults from _Peanuts_ or that vacuum from the _Teletubbies_.

Sehun, Baekhyun, and Yixing. Also known as the people Junmyeon should be happy for but can’t because he’s an awful fucking person. Sehun is so fucking happy. He came home one night after Baekhyun and Yixing dragged him along to an event for restauranteurs and flopped onto his bed face first. When Junmyeon asked if he was okay, he squealed and said that the whole night Baekhyun and Yixing told everyone about their intelligent boyfriend who’s an honors student busting ass through his chemistry degree.

Baekhyun and Yixing are everything Sehun has ever wanted. They’re everything he’s ever needed. Junmyeon can _see_ how good they all are for each other. But he has to force himself to smile when Sehun talks about them, when Baekhyun or Yixing stop by to pick him up or stay over for a few hours to get to know everyone. And he knows he is happy for them. He is so, so happy for them; it’s just hard to remember when he sees them together.

“Good,” he says, “Sehun’s happy. Baekhyun and Yixing – they make him really happy.”

Kris nods his head and smiles. “That’s good. That’s really good. I’m happy for them. I’ve never seen Yixing so excited like this about someone since Baekhyun.”

And Junmyeon just nods. He doesn’t tell Kris about the uncontrollable sadness that bubbles up when he thinks about all of them together. He just nods along and pretends because he doesn’t want Kris to worry. Kris worries about him enough as it is. Junmyeon just wants to keep this happiness for as long as he can.

* * *

 

“What do you want for Christmas?” Junmyeon looks up from his phone with a very dignified noise of confusion. He’s officially done with studying. He gave up at eight-thirty and decided that whatever grades he gets on his exams are the grades he’s earned. And words stopped looking like words at around eight-fifteen, so he figured it was about time to call it quits. The past hour has been spent half-watching _It’s a Wonderful Life_. “Christmas? What do you want? Have you thought about it yet?”

“No-not really,” it sounds more like a question than he meant it to, and Kris laughs. His long fingers coming down to comb through Junmyeon’s hair. “I don’t really think I want anything. You’ve really given me enough.”

Kris looks a little strange like this, upside-down because Junmyeon is lying on the couch with his head in Kris’ lap and the TV casting grey tones onto the man’s face, but the eyebrow raise of disbelief is unmistakable. Junmyeon feels the blood rush to his face and he tries to nonchalantly throw an arm up to hide his red cheeks. It doesn’t work; Kris catches his hand and plays with his fingers, leaving his warm face painfully vulnerable.

The volume on the Christmas movie gets turned down. “Mind running that by me again?”

“You do enough for me already? Because the whole paying for my rent and tuition thing?” Junmyeon cringes as he remembers how much Kris does for him and wonders if the couch would be so kind as to swallow him whole.

He isn’t sure how Kris even managed to do it, but Junmyeon went to see how much he was going to need to pay for next semester and found that it had been paid in full. When he’d asked, Kris hadn’t even tried to deny it, just said that now Junmyeon didn’t have to worry about his tuition anymore. He asked Junmyeon to let him know when tuition for next fall was due. “ _I’ll forget if you don’t remind me_.” Junmyeon is going to do no such thing.

“You mean things I do because I _want_ to do them? Because you work your ass off in college and I enjoy being able to reward that hard work?” Strange way to describe being a sugar daddy. It’s a _really_ strange way, more like taking care of a partner than paying a sugar baby. Junmyeon stomps that thought right down, locks it up in the place where all the repressed issues go. “You act like your tuition isn’t mostly covered by scholarships. I don’t pay much at all, and you still won’t let me touch your student loans. I could probably pay those off for Christmas, but I wanna get you some _actual_ gifts.”

Junmyeon just stares at Kris. What is he supposed to say in return? His student loans are horrible, awful things that he can’t think about without crying a little. And to Kris they’re barely anything. Junmyeon _knows_ Kris doesn’t think it’s that much money because Kris had managed to weasel out exactly how much Junmyeon owed one day and shrugged, saying that he could take care of it if Junmyeon wanted.

Junmyeon sighs and gently pulls his hand out of Kris’ to rub at his eyes. Fucking rich people.

Kris hums and then another hand joins the one already in Junmyeon’s hair. “You probably already bought me a bunch of gifts,” Junmyeon starts. He pulls his hands away from his eyes. “Right?” Kris nods. “See? That’s enough.”

“Nope. I bought you things _I_ thought you would like, that’s different than getting you what you want. If you really don’t know what you want yet, that’s fine, but I _will_ spoil you this Christmas. That’s a promise. You deserve to be taken care of.” Junmyeon’s chest feels all funny. It’s nothing like butterflies or wasps or any other winged insect buzzing around inside him. It’s just warm, like he swallowed a sunset. It’s warm like Kris’ smile right now. Junmyeon’s finding it a little hard to breathe, but maybe the feeling in his chest is worth losing a little oxygen.

“You do take care of me,” he murmurs, pulling Kris’ hands out of his hair to lace their fingers together. “You’re always taking care of me, that’s why you don’t need to get me anything for Christmas. I don’t need anything.” Junmyeon looks up, away from their hands, and feels his face melt into a soft smile at the pout on Kris’ face. He pulls on hand away to thumb at Kris’ lower lip and giggles when he pushes it out more.

The movie switches into commercials and they blink at the too-saturated colors washing over them. Kris uses his free hand to fumble for the remote and turn the TV off, leaving them in the darkness with only the glow of the moon and city at night to see by.

Junmyeon sits up. He squeaks as big hands wrap around his waist and pull him to sit comfortably in Kris’ lap. Kris holds him tight. He presses kisses to his temple and hums a Christmas song Junmyeon can’t remember. The low light reflects off the Christmas tree set up in the corner of the living room. Junmyeon smiles, closing his eyes to watch the memory of the two of them putting it up together last weekend play behind his eyelids. When he opens his eyes, he sees that the star is just as crooked as it was when he first put it in place. He remembers apologizing and Kris cackling about the star reminding him of Mufasa before the stampede.

He remembers Kris sitting up with him and watching the first snow fall outside the apartment windows, listening to Kris explain why he loves Christmas so much. It was the only holiday his parents would always make sure to be home for. How it was always the best time of the year for him.

Junmyeon remembers how quiet Kris became when he talked about the first Christmas after his parents passed, how he works hard now to make sure he never spends Christmas drunk and alone again, crying on the bathroom floor because it had been seven months since they died and he thought he could handle it.

“I’ll tell you if I think of something, okay? But for now, whatever you’ve already gotten me is enough.”

“Promise?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon laughs, “I promise. I’ll tell you the second I think of something.” Junmyeon wants to give Kris the best Christmas he possibly can. There isn’t much Junmyeon can give Kris, but he can give him this. Kris’ humming turns brighter, happier, and Junmyeon smiles. “What do _you_ want though?”

Junmyeon expects a shrug or an _uh_ in response because Baekhyun told him Kris is _horrible_ to buy gifts for. He gets, “Will you spend Christmas with me? If you’ve already got plans, then don’t worry about it, but – I just think it’d be nice to spend Christmas together.” Junmyeon’s heart twists a little in his chest. He doesn’t have any plans for Christmas. Usually he spends it with Minseok and everyone else, but they’re all going home – Jongdae is meeting Minseok’s parents, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are spending Christmas with the Park family like they do every year, and Sehun is going to Baekhyun and Yixing’s apartment. Junmyeon had planned to spend Christmas alone this year; spending it with Kris sound so much better.

“I’d love to. I can probably come over on the twenty-second – if that’s okay. Everyone else will be gone by then so…”

Kris smiles so wide Junmyeon can see it even in the dark. “You can come over after your last final if you want. The more time you’re here, the better.” And Junmyeon thinks he really means it. He really thinks Junmyeon’s presence during Christmas is a gift.

That’s all he asked for this Christmas. Kris has enough money to buy whatever he wants, Junmyeon knows that, but still. When asked what he wants for Christmas, all Kris said was Junmyeon.

Snow begins to fall down over the city. Junmyeon watches the flakes float on the wind and presses himself as tight as he can to Kris. Kris asks if he’s cold. Junmyeon nods because it’s easier than trying to explain what’s actually going on inside his head. Kris asks if he wants to get up and go to bed. Junmyeon shakes his head; he just wants to stay like this for a little while longer.

Snow falls down over the city. Junmyeon watches it and realizes he knows exactly what he wants for Christmas, but he doesn’t think he has the right to ask for it.

* * *

 

“I still can’t believe _I_ am the one stuck in the backseat.” Junmyeon stares out the passenger window and tries not to feel guilty. Luhan huffs from the backseat and Junmyeon winces. Kris reaches over the center console and settles a hand on Junmyeon’s knee, squeezing gently and rubbing his thumb back and forth over the fabric of Junmyeon’s jeans.

Junmyeon looks over and attempts a smile; Kris mirrors him and then glares up into the rearview mirror. “What the fuck else did you expect? That I would put Jun back there?” Kris makes a sound between a laugh and a scoff and Junmyeon can feel the tension grow.

He presses himself further into his seat and hopes it will yawn open and swallow him whole. He should’ve been more insistent about walking to campus or taking the bus. But the windows in Kris’ apartment were frosted over and Kris was so, so adamant about driving Junmyeon to campus. “ _It’s too cold to walk, even to the bus stop. Let me drive you, please?”_

Junmyeon would’ve held his ground if he’d known Luhan was going to show up and decide to hitch a ride with Kris to a meeting they both have at ten.

He looks up in the rearview mirror and sees Luhan squished in the backseat. Junmyeon told them to put his backpacks in the trunk. The one sitting as his feet is the one he actually needs; the others are full of textbooks and extra clothes. They don’t _need_ to be taking up all that space in the backseat.

“Junmyeon rides shotgun,” Kris says when Luhan starts protesting again. There’s a quiet murmur of Luhan wondering why Junmyeon didn’t just take the goddamn bus because campus is so far out of Kris’ way. “Would _you_ want to walk in this, Lu? No? Didn’t think so. Now quit making Junmyeon feel guilty before I kick your mooching ass out of my car.”

“I’m not upset with Junmyeon!” Luhan leans forward and Junmyeon startles when arms come around from either side of his seat to hug him. “Really, I’m not. You’re a lovely human being. Not your fault Kris is a whipped bitch for you.”

Junmyeon buries his face in his hands to hide his smile as Kris makes an angry little noise in the back of his throat. Luhan laughs, grabbing one of Junmyeon’s hands to force a high-five. The hand on Junmyeon’s knee comes up to intercept. The stoplight goes from red to green and Kris and Luhan have to stop their little fight over custody of Junmyeon’s left hand to make Kris doesn’t crash the car. Kris does end up with Junmyeon’s hand held protectively in his own.

Luhan makes another quiet comment about Kris being whipped. “Break check!” Luhan, who refused to put on a seatbelt for reasons Junmyeon can’t understand, goes flying forward and then back, yelping about mistreatment and abuse. Junmyeon stays perfectly settled; Kris presses their joined hands to his chest and makes sure of it.

When they finally get to campus, Kris weaves his way through the roads running next to the buildings to get as close as possible to Junmyeon’s exam. “You don’t have to,” Junmyeon says when he realizes why Kris didn’t park near the university’s big, flashy front entrance. “I can walk.”

He leans over the center console and rests his head on Kris’ shoulder in gratitude anyway, ignoring Luhan’s soft cooing in the backseat and his own blush.

“I know. I wanted to. It’s icy out and I don’t want you to fall. Less you walk, less chance you have of slipping and concussing yourself on the frozen sidewalk. And it’s easier to walk you to class if it’s close.” Junmyeon glances up at Kris and smiles when he sees the pink in his cheeks. The butterflies in his stomach start flapping double time. It’s like he’s back in high school being walked to class by his crush.

Junmyeon doesn’t even attempt to dissuade Kris from walking him. Why bother? Kris wants to walk him, and he isn’t ready to say goodbye to Kris. It just makes sense to take that extra little bit of time.

Junmyeon wants to take all the time Kris will give him, greedy and desperate for something he doesn’t want to name.

So they walk hand-in-hand to Junmyeon’s exam, Luhan trailing after them because he said he’s never been to this campus and wants to stretch his legs before the meeting. He doesn’t say anything when all three of them come to a stop outside the building housing the chemistry department and Kris leans down to start the long, long process of saying goodbye.

It’s mostly Kris’ fault. Kris is the one who keeps asking for _one_ more kiss. Just _one_ more – that turns into five more kisses that are supposed to end with another _just one more_. Junmyeon isn’t sure how much of it is to make him laugh and how much of it is Kris genuinely not wanting to say goodbye. But maybe it’s Junmyeon’s fault that they’ve been standing out in the cold for five minutes too, because he doesn’t tell Kris that he said one more kiss five kisses ago, just rises up on his toes and giggles when Kris’ cold nose brushes his cheek.

“Oh shit,” Luhan gasps and startles them out of their twentieth ‘last’ kiss, “he’s fucking _gorgeous_.”

Junmyeon blinks and tries to follow Luhan’s gaze, half-falling into Kris when he sees Minseok rounding one of the other science buildings with his face buried in his phone. Kris kisses the shell of his ear and whispers, “Isn’t that your best friend?” Junmyeon nods. “The one dating your other best friend?” He nods again. “He’s taken, Lu. And from what I’ve heard, not likely to be single anytime soon.”

“You know him?”

“Yeah, Junmyeon’s friend. Dating Junmyeon’s other friend.” Luhan swears. “Man, you really gotta be lucky to catch a good one. They just get snatched up, you know?”

Kris mumbles something in Junmyeon’s ear that he only half-understands about Kris being so, so, _so_ lucky. He wraps his arms around Junmyeon and squeezes until Junmyeon squeaks, lifting him up off the ground. “Put me down,” Junmyeon giggles, “this makes me feel short!”

Kris just laughs and hugs him tighter, kissing him wet and sloppy on the cheek. “Mm, I have the _best_ luck.” Luhan gags and Kris sets Junmyeon down to turn around and swat Luhan upside the head.

And then Jongdae appears from the music building. Luhan makes a sound like he’s being strangled and Junmyeon doesn’t have the heart to tell him Jongdae’s taken too. By the same guy Luhan was just ogling. He waits for some downtrodden sigh as Jongdae yells Minseok’s name and nearly busts his head open on the icy sidewalk running into Minseok’s arms. Minseok catches him; they both go sliding and giggle as they just barely keep themselves from falling over.

Junmyeon, Luhan, and Kris watch on as Minseok and Jongdae meet halfway for a kiss and laugh into each other’s mouths. Luhan makes a noise in understanding. He narrows his eyes, sucks his lower lip between his teeth, and shrugs. “All real shapes have at least three sides.”

Kris chokes on air and Junmyeon watches in awe as Luhan goes jogging after Minseok and Jongdae, calling that he’s a friend of Junmyeon. That he’s heard about them and wants to get to know them better. It’s poorly disguised flirting and Junmyeon expects it to get shut down _hard._ He expects Luhan to come scuttling back with his tail between his legs.

The last thing – the _last thing_ Junmyeon expects is for Minseok and Jongdae to look Luhan up and down, share a look, shrug, and wave for him to walk with them.

The last thing Junmyeon expects is for his stomach to twist painfully. “ _Luhan’s been looking more at the long-term lately, looking more for real partners. I think he wants to settle down and have someone who loves him enough to suffer through the old shitty westerns he loves_.” Kris’ words from a few weeks ago come to mind and Junmyeon throws them right back out. Not that does anything. They ring around in his head and remind him that Luhan is looking for _boyfriends_. He wants to _date_ Jongdae and Minseok, at least until he really gets to know them and realizes Jongdae’s insane and Minseok’s even more insane for thinking Jongdae’s insanity is cute.

But Sehun, Jongdae, and Minseok, people just like Junmyeon. Junmyeon’s _best friends_. Baekhyun, Yixing, and Luhan, people just like Kris. Kris’ _best friends_. Dating, being boyfriends, having _real_ relationships.

If they can, why can’t Junmyeon? Why can’t he have Kris? Really, really have him? He doesn’t need much to be happy. Doesn’t want money or anything. He just wants Kris. Why can’t he have that?

“I gotta go,” Junmyeon forces out. His voice trembles and he pulls away from Kris, darting up the front steps of the building. “My exam starts in fifteen minutes.” Kris calls after him but Junmyeon is already crying, little, selfish, ungrateful tears falling down. He can’t turn around and really say goodbye, because then Kris would see the tears and ask why he’s crying and Junmyeon would confess. He’d spill his guts and ruin everything. Kris would leave and then he’d have nothing. At least he can happy sometimes right now, when he’s with Kris and isn’t thinking about what their relationship really is, he’s happy. He’s _happy_.

So why can’t he stop crying?

Junmyeon hides in a bathroom stall and cries, ignoring how his phone won’t stop vibrating with messages from Kris. Asking if Junmyeon is okay, what’s wrong, will he come back out and say goodbye, if he wants Kris to come pick him up after his exams and Kris’ meeting.

**From: Kris**

_Just say when and I’ll come get you_

_You can come to the office and see what I do for a living_

_Or we can go back to my place. Take a nap or watch movies or something_

_Just let me know_

_Good luck on your finals <3_

Junmyeon tucks his phone away and wipes furiously at his tears. It’s everything he’s ever wanted from someone. And God, he’s so selfish. He can’t even be grateful for what he already has, which is more than he ever expected. But God fucking damn all he wants is for this to be _real._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're starting to get close to the end (sort of...kind of...like 3-4 chapters off, can you feel it?) I might post a poll on twitter soon to see what people would like to see first out of the WIPs I have, so if you're interested in that my twitter link is down below! (I get final decision, of course, because I'm the one working on it, but I am a sucker for outward validation, so seeing that people have an interest in something really gets me going lol)
> 
> Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Kris just hands him a plate full of food and tugs him close. Junmyeon buries his face into Kris' chest as casually as he can and sniffs quietly. Kris smells like Kris. It's not an identifiable smell; Junmyeon can't think of anything that smells quite like Kris does. People usually don't smell like anything in particular, they just smell like them. Kris smells like Kris.
> 
> Kris smells like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thank you all for all the love and support you've given this fic. I always love reading all your commetns and seeing how many people are coming back to read more of this <3 it makes my heart happy.
> 
> This chapter is unbetaed, life gets in the way and both Aarushi and I are sick at the moment so like..RIP us. So if you notice that this chapter is a bit....less grammatically sound than the others, that's why. 
> 
> As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18) for being the best beta out there, and for not getting mad when I send you like 10 texts at 2 AM your time bc i've lost all control of my own characters.

They don't talk about it. Junmyeon texts Kris later on after his chemistry exam that he's fine, that he thinks he did well on the exam. Kris doesn't push. He lets Junmyeon's minor breakdown fade into the past. Junmyeon isn't sure if he's happy about it or not. Doesn't matter either way, really, because they don't bring it up again.

Kris picks him up from his apartment a few days later after his last final. When he slides into the passenger seat, Kris greets him with a kiss. And everything is back to normal. Junmyeon stuffs how badly he wants his relationship with Kris to be real as far down as it'll go, and everything goes back to normal. They pick up dinner on the way to Kris' apartment – Junmyeon's pick because Kris says they're celebrating the end of finals season. And everything is back to normal.

"Anything special you wanna do tonight," Kris asks on the elevator ride up. He's got one arm around Junmyeon's waist, holding him close. His fingers drift up and down Junmyeon's side, ticklish and wonderful.

Junmyeon never wants to leave. He thinks that he could probably stay right here in this moment forever and be perfectly happy. Just him and Kris, together. If time would stand still for him, he'd ask it to freeze and leave them here. Where Junmyeon can almost pretend that Kris is his boyfriend and that Kris feels the same fluttery, fluffy feelings in his chest.

But time can't stand still. It has to keep going and Junmyeon has to keep pretending that he doesn't feel like he's being filled with sun from the inside out whenever Kris smiles at him.

The elevator dings and the doors open to Kris' apartment. "Sleep. I really want to sleep." _I want to lie down with you and imagine a future. I want to love and be loved_. Junmyeon smiles ruefully at Kris' back as the man digs out chopsticks and sets up dinner. "Yeah, I think just sleep," he says.

And Kris just hands him a plate full of food and tugs him close. Junmyeon buries his face into Kris' chest as casually as he can and sniffs quietly. Kris smells like Kris. It's not an identifiable smell; Junmyeon can't think of anything that smells quite like Kris does. People usually don't smell like anything in particular, they just smell like them. Kris smells like Kris.

Kris smells like home.

Lips press against Junmyeon's forehead and he closes his eyes at the sensation. "My poor little worker bee. Never stopping until the job is done." There's a black hole in his chest that sucks it all in, a void that will never be filled up no matter how much affection Kris gives him.

Junmyeon leaves the plate on the counter and wraps his arms around Kris' middle. He wants to be as close as physically possible, until their bodies are pressed together from chest to thigh. Because maybe, just maybe, if Junmyeon can press them close enough together, some of his feelings will rub off onto Kris and Kris will want to keep him forever. Kris will really, truly _want_ him.

"I'm so proud of you, you know that? I'm so, so proud."

He lets out a shuddering breath. "Thank you," if Kris notices how his voice shakes, he doesn't mention it. He just squeezes Junmyeon tighter and leans down for a kiss. Junmyeon pushes up on his toes and twists his fingers into the fabric of Kris' shirt, trying to hold him there for just a few minutes. He just needs a few more minutes.

When Kris pulls back, his eyes are filled with concern. He opens his mouth and Junmyeon just shrugs, pushing himself further up on his toes to rest his head on Kris' shoulder.

He's fine. He'll be fine. He just needs to stay in Kris' arms and soak in the warmth for a few more minutes.

They eat on the couch, legs tangled together underneath a blanket and one of those old stop motion Christmas movies playing on the TV. Junmyeon doesn't know which one it is; he's too busy watching Kris. The light from the TV casts harsh shadows, but Kris still looks beautiful. So beautiful it hurts a little. Every once in a while Kris will look away from the screen and catch him staring, but all he does is smile.

Junmyeon could imagine spending every day like this. Not the Christmas decorations or movie on the screen, but just this. Settling down after a long day, eating dinner on the couch together. Staring at Kris' smile.

Kris puts his plate down when he's done and opens his arms. When Junmyeon hesitates, mouth half full of noodles, Kris smiles so wide his eyes crinkle in the corners and does a weird little shimmy. "Wanna cuddle with you, c'mere. You can cuddle and eat at the same time," he giggles and wiggles his fingers.

Hard to argue with that. Junmyeon crawls across the couch and settles against Kris' chest. Kris hums happily, kissing the side of his head and ghosting fingertips down his arms. It's ticklish and Junmyeon squirms at the sensation.

"Don't tickle me," Junmyeon whines, "I'm trying to eat!"

Kris just chuckles and nuzzles their noses together, completely shameless in his affection. Junmyeon wishes he could be that shameless, could just go throwing himself over Kris whenever he wanted. He thinks that he would – maybe if they were _real_ he would. If they were real. Junmyeon can think of a million and one things he would do if they were real - scream, jump up and down, kiss Kris until they both run out of breath. But they aren't real, so he won't do any of those things. He'll just lie here and savor each second as time ticks on leads them closer to their inevitable end. Kris won't keep him forever. He's going to want to get married one day and that means leaving Junmyeon behind.

"I'm so happy I get to spend Christmas with you," Kris sighs. Kris is going to leave him one day, maybe sooner, maybe later. There's no telling if Junmyeon will still be here for next Christmas, but he's here now, so he savors the affection and tells Kris he's happy too.

Because he is. He's always happy when he's with Kris. He doesn't think he's ever been happier than when he's with Kris. It makes the knowledge that Kris doesn't want him back even harder to swallow. But Junmyeon is still happy. He's miserable, but still so goddamn _happy_.

Junmyeon eats slowly, staring at the screen and ignoring the storm of his emotions in his chest. He just needs to _be_ right here in this moment, rest his head on Kris' chest and just _be_. Thinking about the future and all the inevitable endings and pain is a waste of the time he still has with Kris, so he just needs to be here and enjoy every last second.

"You're crying." He sits them both up and stares at Junmyeon with concern written in the lines of his face. Kris wipes at Junmyeon's tears, cupping his face in gentle hands and brushing his thumbs under Junmyeon's eyes. "What's wrong? First the thing before your chemistry final and now this. Something's bothering you. What is it?"

Junmyeon forces half a smile, "I'm fine."

"Bullshit." Junmyeon's stomach twists at the vehemence in Kris' voice. His eyebrows tilt down and his nose screws up as the frown grows more pronounced. "You're not fine. I know you're not."

No, Junmyeon's not fine, but there's nothing either of them can do about it. Junmyeon's forced smile falls and he leans forward until he can rest his head on Kris' chest. "Yeah, I know."

"Then tell me what's wrong. Let me help you."

"It'd be waste of time." A waste of the time Junmyeon has left with him. If Junmyeon's opens his mouth, he'd be wasting those last few minutes; Kris will ask him to leave and then it's all over. He'd have wasted his time with Kris and he just - he doesn't think he can handle that. "There's nothing you can do," Junmyeon whispers. Unless Kris can suddenly decide that he wants Junmyeon for real, there's nothing he or anyone else can do. "It wouldn't make me feel better."

Kris sighs and Junmyeon hates himself a little for shoving his sadness onto Kris. He's the last person Junmyeon wants to see upset.

"I'll be here if you change your mind. I'm always here for you. Even if it's my fault - _especially_ if it's my fault, I'll be here to listen," Kris says after a few minutes. Junmyeon nods and breathes out a _thank you_. If it was anything, any other problem, Kris is one of the people Junmyeon would pour his heart out to. He hopes Kris knows that. "Will you feel better if I hold you?"

" _Yes."_ Arms wind around Junmyeon's waist and tug him in closer. Junmyeon wraps his own arms around Kris' shoulders. He takes back wanting to freeze time in the elevator. Here, now, _this_ is where he wants to be for the rest of his life. In Kris' arms, feeling cared for and special.

He'll get this for the rest of winter break. He gets to be here with Kris all Christmas. It's not enough, not when he doesn't know if he'll be here for the next one, but it's something.

He's with Kris, and that's something.

* * *

 

Junmyeon is more himself the next morning, can look at Kris without feeling like he's a step away from bursting into tears. Kris is still gentle with him though, treating him like he's fragile. He stays close to Junmyeon's side, always touching him in some way. Junmyeon doesn't mind. His heart skips a beat whenever Kris reaches for him, skin warm and tingling wherever they touch.

Junmyeon smiles at Kris every second he can. He needs him to know that he's okay, that _they're_ okay. Whatever they are. Junmyeon really, truly is happy when he's with Kris, he wants Kris to know that.

They start breakfast on opposite sides of the table, but they gravitate towards each other. Kris will reach over tuck Junmyeon's hair behind his ear and Junmyeon will give him a smile in return and all the sudden they're a little closer than they were before. It happens again and again and again until they're pressed together, Junmyeon half in Kris' lap.

It's somehow still not close enough.

So Junmyeon wraps a hand around the nape of Kris' neck and tugs him down for a kiss. Kris makes a soft noise of surprise but doesn't hesitate to kiss him back. The kiss is innocent for a little while, not much more than lips sliding past each other and soft hums of contentment. Then Kris is tilting his head and nipping at Junmyeon's bottom lip. Junmyeon squeaks against Kris' mouth as hands wrap around his thighs and haul him all the way into Kris' lap.

Even as hands wander up under shirts and fingers twist in hair, there's no urgency. Kris' plays with waistband of Junmyeon's pajama pants, but it's all just play. Junmyeon can feel Kris' dick hardening against his thigh; Kris would stop him if he went to touch it though. This isn't a lead up to sex, this is just kissing, just affection and warmth and needing to touch and be touched.

This isn't a preamble, it's the main event. Junmyeon doesn't have to plan ahead or pull himself out of the moment to decide how far he's willing to go. He can just enjoy Kris, enjoy himself, and take the soft affection he craves and give affection in return.

Kris had given him the reigns for this, told him to go as slow or fast he wanted. Kris said he was happy just to have Junmyeon here. Whatever's enough for Junmyeon is enough for him.

This enough for Junmyeon right now.

Kris pulls away first. His eyes trace the lines of Junmyeon's face as he squeezes Junmyeon's waist. "You're so goddamn perfect," Kris whispers in something that sounds like awe. Junmyeon tucks his face into Kris’ neck with a soft whine, heart fluttering in his chest and cheeks burning. Kris kisses the tip of his ear. “You’re so, so perfect, baby. I’d spend all day like this if you’d let me.”

“I’d let you,” Junmyeon wriggles in closer, “I _will_ let you right now.” The wooden chair unforgiving on his knees and his feet are starting to fall asleep and tingle, but Kris’ arms are so warm, hands hot against his skin, and his lap is so comfortable, that Junmyeon doesn’t really want to move.

“Mm, I like the sound of that.” Junmyeon settles in for some much needed cuddle time – it doesn’t matter if he’d spent all of last night wrapped up in Kris’ arms or if they’d slept snuggled together, Junmyeon _always_ needs more cuddle time when it comes to Kris. And then hands fit under his thighs and he’s being lifted into the air. He shrieks and clings to Kris’ shirt as Kris laughs. He snickers in Junmyeon’s ear, “You’ll hurt your knees on the kitchen chair, baby. Snuggles are for couch, floor, or bed only.”

That’s understandable, but, “You could have _warned_ me!”

“If I’d warned you I was going to pick you up would you have let me pick you up?” Junmyeon pulls his face away from Kris’ neck to complain but stops when Kris kisses the tip of his nose. “The answer to that is _no_ , you would not have let me pick you up. And I wanted to carry you.”

“And here we are?” Junmyeon’s cheeks feel warm and he can’t stop a goofy smile from spreading over his face. This close, Kris looks fucking ridiculous, especially when Junmyeon leans in and touches the tips of their noses together. Kris _is_ ridiculous, but so is Junmyeon and he thinks that ridiculous is good.

“And here we are,” Kris confirms. He hefts Junmyeon higher and carries him all the way to the bedroom. They fall backward onto the bed. Kris lets go of him as they fall and catches most of his weight on his forearms. And Junmyeon lands on his back in the pile of blankets they’d left behind that morning when they stumbled out of bed for breakfast.

Kris is a welcome weight on top of him, so close Junmyeon would barely have to push himself up for a kiss.

He doesn't even have to do that. Kris cups his face with one hand and holds him in place, lips soft and warm and familiar against his own. As if Junmyeon _needed_ to be held in place.

"We're not getting anything done today, are we," Kris asks when he pulls away. Junmyeon shakes his head. He doesn't want to get anything done today unless it's soaking in every ounce of affection Kris is willing to give him. Junmyeon is so so needy today. He's spent all day in Kris' arms but it doesn't matter, he still wants more. Happiness blooms warm and happy in his chest when Kris chuckles and leans in for another kiss.

They end up on their sides eventually. Kris' arms get tired and Junmyeon is too lazy to bother rolling on top of him. The kisses are sweeter like this, Kris' arm around his waist, keeping him close. Junmyeon tugs the blankets on top of them to shut out the cold – Kris says it's good Junmyeon has him around to keep him warm.

Junmyeon thinks it's just good to have him around.

"We should grab one of our laptops." Junmyeon just grumbles from where he'd gotten comfy under the covers, head pillowed on Kris' arm as he dozed. It's almost impossible not to feel sleepy like this – warm, comfortable, cared for.

Kris laughs and long fingers come to card through his hair. There's a gentle tug on a few strands that makes Junmyeon look up at him with one eye cracked open and a pout on his lips. "I'm sleepy."

"I can tell. But I'm not."

And that's enough to make Junmyeon stretch and start really trying to wake himself up. Kris' wants are supposed to come first. They don't usually, but they're supposed to. So Junmyeon starts sitting up because he's a good sugar baby companion goddammit.

Kris pushes him to lie back down. "What are you doing?" His eyebrows furrow together and he frowns. His arm is heavy over Junmyeon's waist like he's daring him to try and get up again.

"You aren't tired," Junmyeon says very slowly. Kris nods but doesn't explain and Junmyeon's thought process turns into a long line of question marks and vague muffled screeching.

"But you are. That's why I'm going to grab my laptop and work or watch something while you take a nap," Kris says like it's the _only_ logical conclusion anyone could have. Junmyeon's mind-reading powers are shit apparently. "Duh," Kris adds with a little smirk. Junmyeon grunts and swats gently at his face, smiling at the yelp Kris lets out and how he pretends to bite at Junmyeon's fingers.

Junmyeon watches as Kris gets out of bed and shuffles across the room to grab his laptop. A feeling he doesn't want to name pulls insistently at his heart and he waves it away. He doesn't want to be sad right now. He just wants to curl into Kris side and take a nap. So he focuses on the moment, on the warmth under the covers and how it's so much better when Kris is under them with him. He focuses on the sparkle of mischief in Kris' eyes when he turns around with his laptop and apparently decides the only way he can get back into bed is by leaping across room.

Laughter is shrieking its way out of Junmyeon's mouth before he can stop it, bouncing along with the mattress when Kris lands. Kris is laughing too, so loudly that Junmyeon wonders if the downstairs neighbors can hear them both laughing like fucking idiots.

Then he decides he doesn't care. He and Kris are happy and that's what matters.

When the laughter finally dies down and Kris gets settled with the laptop, Junmyeon wiggles his way over and rest his head on Kris' thigh. There's something playing on the computer screen, just a show or movie; it means Kris' hands are free to touch. And they do. Kris rests a hand in Junmyeon's hair and scratches gently, thumb smoothing over the shell of his ear.

Junmyeon's never fallen asleep so fast.

* * *

 

Christmas morning comes faster than Junmyeon expected. He wakes up one morning and Kris is pulling presents out from the top shelf of the closet to shove under the tree. Junmyeon’s presents for him are already there, and Junmyeon _thought_ all the presents Kris got for him were there too. Turns out Kris had hidden some so Junmyeon wouldn’t have time to worry that he hadn’t gotten Kris enough and run himself ragged trying to find last minute gifts.

“You’re spending Christmas with me,” Kris says as Junmyeon sits up and rubs at his eyes with a pout, “that’s already the best gift ever.”

Junmyeon still thinks he hasn’t done enough. It’s not too late for him to run to the nearest convenience store and find something small. Except Kris shoves Junmyeon’s shoes on the top shelf of the closet where the presents were hiding and they both know he can’t reach that without a chair or something to stand on.

He tries though. He shuffles out of bed with tired frown and jumps up and down in front of the closet. If he puts all his energy into the jump, he can just brush the edge of the shelf, but there’s no fucking way he’s going to actually get to his shoes.

So he resorts to whining. Because he’s tired enough that things like pride and dignity don’t really matter. And because he really does feel bad that Kris doesn’t have a whole lot of gifts to open on Christmas, his _favorite_ day of the year. “Kris,” Junmyeon turns around and directs the full force of his pout at the man standing in the bedroom doorway with an enormous smile. “Gimme back my shoes.” Kris shakes his head and Junmyeon groans. “This isn’t fair.”

“What’s not fair? Me wanting to give you lots of gifts on Christmas?”

“Yes, exactly that. It’s not fair that I can’t give you stuff in return.”

“But you did. There are five presents under the tree with my name on them. I’m _very_ excited to open them.” Kris has the biggest, stupidest, most infuriating, beautiful smile on his face. He’s literally a kid on Christmas morning, except he’s thirty years old and a grown man. It’s really fucking cute and Junmyeon kind of wants to die a little.

But there’s the principle of the thing, and the principle of the thing is that he won’t let Junmyeon go get him something else for Christmas. “You know that’s not what I meant. You hid all these presents up here and got me _way_ more than I got you.”

“I’m still failing to see a problem here.”

Junmyeon hobbles over to Kris. He isn’t sure what he’s planning on doing. Arguing his case? Whining at point blank range? Whatever he had planned, it doesn’t happen. He ends up walking right into Kris’ arms and resting his head against Kris’ chest instead. Kris’ arms wind around him in a wonderfully warm hug and Junmyeon can’t really find it in him to do anything but return the hug.

He’s so fucking gone on Kris. It’s a little pathetic.

“Merry Christmas, baby. I’m so happy you’re here,” Kris voice goes soft and quiet, emotion Junmyeon doesn’t recognize bleeding through and making his heart do triple backwards somersaults in his chest.

“I’m happy I’m here too.” So goddamn happy.

Less than half an hour in and this Christmas is already better than any others Junmyeon can think of. Mostly because Kris is here. Junmyeon’s pathetic and so attached but Kris makes him so happy. Kris just makes things better, even things Junmyeon thought were already pretty good.

He can feel Kris’ smile against his forehead when the man bends down to press a kiss there – Junmyeon just hums. “Merry Christmas, Kris.” He giggles, “Ha, _Kris_ -mas.”

“Never heard that one before,” Kris grumbles. But Junmyeon can still feeling him smiling. “Just for that, you have to open up all your presents first. _And_ I’m gonna take as many pictures as I want and send them to our friends. Wait – a _video!_ ”

“What? No! That’s not fair! My face is gonna be all red and I’ll look stupid!”

Kris doesn’t even dignify him with a response. He just pulls out of the hug and starts walking towards the living room. Junmyeon clings to his waist but Kris just drags him along. “Kris, tell me you’re joking! _Please?_ ”

“What do you want for breakfast, baby? I was thinking we do something besides eggs and rice because it’s a special day. How about pancakes? I’m taking your whine as a ‘yes’.” Kris is a horrible, horrible, awful monster from the deepest depths of hell. He’s a gigantic bully who wants to embarrass Junmyeon until he falls over and dies. And then he offers pancakes like none of it even happened. Who even does that?

But Junmyeon would very much like pancakes.

He also very much likes when Kris finally succumbs to his unending whining. That’s the thing about whining, it’s all about perseverance. He can break anyone if he just whines long enough. But Kris turns around from where he’s flipping pancakes, Junmyeon still holding him around the middle, and gently bops him on the nose with the spatula. “Come on, we both know I would send any picture you weren’t happy with out to friends. Any pictures I take will be for _me_ and me alone.”

“Why do you even want the pictures?”

Kris’ cheeks turn pink and he shrugs, “Sometimes when I get stressed at work I like to look at pictures of you. Calms me down.” Junmyeon’s face _burns_ and he hides it against Kris’ chest. His stomach is twisting itself in knots even as his heart grows four fucking sizes, too full of the warm, fuzzy feelings that he can’t keep from growing.

They eat breakfast on the floor in front of the Christmas tree. Junmyeon leans his head on Kris’ shoulder and watches the twinkling lights. They reflect off shiny wrapping paper that makes him think about how many more presents he has to open than Kris.

He should’ve gotten Kris more. But then it’d really just be Kris buying Kris more gifts because the money Junmyeon has is Kris’. It’s not Kris’ though, because Kris made it crystal clear that it is Junmyeon’s money. Junmyeon’s brain tries to throw him into a unending spiral of terror and depression about how it’s Junmyeon’s money because Kris is paying him to be here and nothing they have is real – Kris kisses him on the cheek, lips sticky from syrup, and all his thoughts disappear.

He looks up at Kris and it’s hard to think of anything else but him, of anything else but how goddamn _happy_ Junmyeon is to be here right now. Kris is paying him, yeah, but he’s paying _him_. Kris wants _Junmyeon_ here right now. He’s the one Kris chooses over and over and over.

Words Junmyeon isn’t ready to say try to leap out of his throat. He leans up and kisses Kris instead. Kris smiles against his mouth and Junmyeon gives a content little sigh, fingers curling the fabric of Kris’ pajama shirt.

“Alright,” Kris says almost as soon as Junmyeon shoves the last bite of food into his mouth, “present time! You sit right here and I’ll pass them to you.”

Junmyeon tries to make a noise of protest, but between the pancake in his mouth and Kris’ sheer determination, he knows there’s no point in trying to delay this. Kris is already sorting out the presents, shoving his own to the side and creating a neat stack for Junmyeon to open. He looks so happy to be handing out gifts that it’s actually a little hard for Junmyeon to feel guilty about not getting him more; one present he picks up and makes a little _ah_ sound at, keeping that in his lap and telling Junmyeon he has to open it last. Then he settles next to his own haphazard pile of gifts and motions for Junmyeon to start.

Junmyeon picks one of the smaller packages out of his pile and slowly peels back the wrapping paper. Kris watches on, gaze settled on Junmyeon’s face and waiting to his reaction. It makes his cheeks heat up before he even sees the actual present, makes him want to be over the top to make sure Kris knows everything is appreciated. But that’s not him, and Kris knows that’s not him.

So when he unwraps what turns out to be a keychain of a little Bunneary, he just gives Kris a soft smile and scoots across the floor so he can lean against Kris’ side. “Thank you,” Junmyeon murmurs, “I love it.”

“I’m glad. I’d hoped you would. Remembered you said you liked it.” Nearly everything Junmyeon opens is something he vaguely remembers mentioning to Kris, games that he’d wanted to play, a pair of new boots because his have a hole in the heel. There are two sweaters wrapped together that Junmyeon recognizes from Kris’ own closet; they’re sweaters Junmyeon’s borrowed on the few mornings Kris drove him to campus. “We can have joint custody of them. You like it when they smell like me and I like how you look in them.”

When Junmyeon reaches the end of his pile of presents, he reaches over and pulls Kris into the tightest hug known to man. He’s just too full of gratitude and affection that he has to move and let it all out before he explodes. Kris giggles, high-pitched and happy, “You’ve still got one more!”

Junmyeon pulls back and blinks at the box Kris holds out to him. He’d forgotten about that one. Honestly, he doesn’t want it. Kris has already given him more presents than Junmyeon had planned and every single one was so thoughtful and carefully chosen. He really doesn’t _need_ anything else. But Kris looks more excited about this present than he did with any of the others.

And Junmyeon figures out why when he opens it. It’s a laptop. “Holy _shit,_ Kris! What – why – you,” Junmyeon splutters. He can’t even look at Kris’ face, too focused on the box in his lap. Most of the gifts honestly hadn’t been that expensive – that’s good, because last time Kris mentioned getting Junmyeon something ridiculously expensive he’s pretty sure he broke out in hives. But this laptop is _nice_ and that means it must’ve been pretty fucking expensive.

“You needed a new one,” Kris waves a hand to where the prehistoric artifact Junmyeon refers to as his computer is sitting on the kitchen table. The fan makes a sound like it’s dying almost on cue. Junmyeon feels a hot wave of embarrassment, but Kris just shrugs. “I wasn’t sure what kind of computer you’d like, so I just went with what Baek and Yixing got for Sehun. We can exchange for it a different one though.”

"No, this is already more than enough."

"You sure," Kris asks, "It's okay if there's another one you like more."

Junmyeon shakes his head, "I'm sure." It's so hard to accept expensive gifts. He stares down at the box for his new laptop and struggles to find the words to express how _grateful_ he is. This is so, so much more than he expected. Which was kind of stupid of him, honestly. He should've known Kris would take the opportunity to spoil him.

He rubs at the shiny designs on the cardboard and doesn't know how to feel. He's so grateful, but there's something swirling under the surface, something terrible and wonderful. He looks up and sees Kris staring at him with the most hopeful smile Junmyeon's ever seen. Kris has been so focused on making him happy, putting so much time into getting him just the right gifts, comforting him when he won't even say why he's sad.

An emotion that tastes like warmth and sunshine bubbles up in the back of his throat. "Thank you. This is - it's more than I expected. Thank you so much, I really, really love it."

Kris' face splits into a smile like the sun. "Yay! A good Christmas then?"

"The _best._ And it'll be even better after you open your presents."

"Oh yeah," Kris laughs, "got too excited about giving you your presents. Can't wait to see what you got me."

Kris leans forward to grab the five gifts still under the tree. Junmyeon sets the laptop down and crawls across the carpet first. "No, let me play Santa this time." Kris nose crinkles up in happiness and Junmyeon wonders if this is what it's supposed to feel like. He won't admit to himself what _it_ is, but he's pretty sure this is _exactly_ what it's supposed to feel like.

He hands the gifts to Kris one at a time. They're not all that much, mostly little inside jokes. A stuffed helicoprion he commissioned one of the Minseok's friends in the art department to make wearing a shirt that says _Nothing but respect for MY favorite shark_.

"What the hell," Kris laughs so hard he falls over, clutching the stuffed animal to his chest and _howling._ "How did you even get this? It's beautiful. This is so fucking funny, Jesus Christ, I can't believe you managed to find something like this. Wow... Wow, _fuck_ , I love it. C'mere, let me kiss you."

Junmyeon is already moving, cheeks warm in pleased embarrassment. Kris presses their lips together. He grabs the collar of Junmyeon's sleepshirt when they pull away. He doesn't need to, Junmyeon's not going anywhere if there's a chance for more kisses.

But then Kris takes the helicoprion and pretends to attack Junmyeon, yelling about buzzsaw teeth. "It's going in for the kill! Junmyeon doesn't stand a chance!" Junmyeon squeals and tries to squirm away, but Kris keeps him in place and pokes him in the neck and belly with the stuffed animal.

"You're ridiculous!"

"Is that news to anyone?"

Kris eventually lets Junmyeon go after Junmyeon yells that yes, helicoprions are sharks and yes, they're the _best_ sharks.

Kris likes the other gifts Junmyeon got him, a really soft blanket, a hat Junmyeon has been knitting for the past few weeks, but nothing gets a reaction like the stuffed animal. Nothing until Junmyeon hands him a pretty heavy box.

"What's in this," Kris asks even as he's tearing off the wrapping paper. Junmyeon weights, stomach filled to bursting with butterflies.

"You'll see."

Kris levels him with a look. Then he opens up the box and gasps quietly. "Oh, baby, you didn't have to." He pulls out the stack of papers, all stapled and carefully held together with binder clips so it's easy to tell the different stories apart. "Is this all of them?" Junmyeon nods. All the stupid short stories he's written since starting college, printed out and organized just for Kris. He'd only mentioned wanting to read Junmyeon's stuff once or twice, just in response to Junmyeon talking to himself about a plot point or launching out of bed early in the morning because a scene came to him in a dream and he _had_ to make sure he got down an outline before it disappeared.

"Thank you," Kris sets the box to the side and squeezes the air out of Junmyeon's lungs with one of the best hugs Junmyeon's ever received. "I'll take very good care of them, I promise. Thank you for trusting me."

Junmyeon just shrugs shyly. There's no one else on Earth he'd trust to read his stories. Minseok and the rest of them have been his editors and beta readers for as long as can he remember so they've read everything in that box and more, but no one else. No one else until Kris.

Junmyeon watches Kris gently thumb through the pages with a soft smile. And he makes a decision. "There's something else."

Kris makes a noise in surprise as Junmyeon stands and walks back into the bedroom. Junmyeon remembers making it a few weeks and immediately regretting it, wondering if he could convince Jongdae to set it on fire. But Minseok had convinced him to wrap it; Sehun convinced him to at least take it Kris' apartment, just in case he changed his mind about incineration.

Junmyeon digs the gift out of his bag and runs his hands over the shiny foil. "Okay," he whispers, "no chickening out."

He walks back into the living room. Kris looks up from the first page of one of the stories, legs stretched out in front of him. Junmyeon takes the image of it in, morning sun shining in through the windows and making Kris glow a pretty gold. Junmyeon takes a breath, heart thudding in his chest, and then he lets it out with a smile.

He's already trusted Kris with all his stories, what's the harm in trusting him a little more?

"You had hidden presents too," Kris accuses with a laugh. He takes the package with a pretty smile just the same.

Junmyeon nods. "Yeah, I'm just as bad as you." Kris swats at his ass as he walks by, but it's all good-natured. Junmyeon sinks down next to him and watches his face as he rips open the wrapping paper. He can see the moment Kris realizes what it is he's holding.

"You said that your desk at work is pretty boring," Junmyeon waits for some definitive sign of whether Kris likes the simple picture frame, a selfie Kris had taken of the two of them together at the last charity event Junmyeon had accompanied him to behind the glass. It's not anything special, just them being silly together, but it's one of Junmyeon's favorite pictures. "So I thought that this might help a little?"

Kris sighs and looks over, "You just want me to not get any work done." Junmyeon flounders for a response. That is not what Junmyeon wanted _at all_. "How am I supposed to focus on anything when I can just look at you instead?"

"So you like it?"

Kris laughs. He sets the picture frame down and cups Junmyeon's face to pull him in for a kiss. Junmyeon can feel him smile against his lips. "I _love_ it."

Junmyeon smiles so wide his cheeks hurt. "Good Christmas?"

"The _best_ Christmas." Then Kris pulls back to look Junmyeon in the eye, face almost overflowing with an emotion Junmyeon can't name. "Any day I spend with you is the best."

And yeah, Junmyeon thinks that this is how it's supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're almost to end the of the fic you guys! 2 more chapters! I hope you guys enjoyed this little christmas diversion. I wrote this when it was actually Christmas I think lol and then it ended up begin posting in May/June.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the dinner passes in somber half-silence. Forks and knives clink against the plates, someone will ask for a dish to be passed around, but no one really talks. It sounds like Yixing is acting as a telephone for Baekhyun and Sehun, who are whispering furiously at each other about something Junmyeon can’t hear. Which is strange, considering how unnervingly quiet it is.
> 
> Junmyeon is the last one to finish eating, mostly picking at the cake Kris had yelled at for three hours the night before. It’s good – Junmyeon was the one who had to keep tasting crumbs and extra pieces to reassure him that it was good. But it sits bland and unappetizing in his mouth. Each bite he takes just adds to the rock sitting in the pit of his stomach and eventually has to put his fork down before he makes himself throw up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Are you guys excited for this chapter? I know I was excited to write it! We finally get smut in this chapter! After 8 chapters of angst and my bad sense of humor! *confetti* anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Thank you so much for loving and supporting this fic like you have <3
> 
> As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18) for being the best beta in the world!

“Do Kyungsoo and Park Chanyeol,” Kris repeats into his phone, leaning against the kitchen island and adjusting his dress shirt. Junmyeon leans up on his tippy-toes to try and listen in. Kris looks over at him with a fond smile before tipping his head down and tilting the phone out. “You’re ridiculous.” Junmyeon shrugs. He’s always been ridiculous. If Kris is just figuring that out now, that’s on him.

“ _Yes, Mr. Wu, Kyungsoo Do and Chanyeol Park.”_ Junmyeon rocks back onto the balls of his feet with a grin. Kris frowns. He’s repeatedly asked the doorman to put family names first – nearly every goddamn person living in the building is Eastern Asian, as are most of the staff, but the doorman _refuses_ to do something as simple as repeat names the way they’re said _._ And his pronunciation sucks ass. He once pronounced Junmyeon’s name as Joon-me-on and Kris nearly had a fucking conniption.

“Send them up, please. And would you mind taking their pictures and having them added to my list of approved guests.” There’s some sort of tinny reply and Kris’ frown deepens. Junmyeon pushes up on his toes again to put his ear to the phone but he’s gently pushed back down. “Yes, I know I’ve had quite a few people added to my guest list today. Haven’t been able to have Junmyeon’s friends over to get them added until today.”

Junmyeon shrugs when Kris gives him a look. It’s not his fault that he’s been avoiding every single opportunity Kris has given him to have his friends over. And even if it is, he’ll never admit it.

Kris hangs up after moment. He sets his phone onto the counter and reaches out for Junmyeon. He goes easily, letting Kris hook him by his belt loops and pull him in. “I’m so excited,” Kris murmurs, pressing their lips together, “Finally getting all our friends together.” He squeezes Junmyeon into a hug and Junmyeon makes a noise like he’s suffocating. “You’re so dramatic.” Junmyeon just grins. Has there ever been a moment since they met when he _wasn’t_ dramatic?

“Hey, quit fucking! Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are here and I’m hungry.” Junmyeon startles just as he’s leaning up for another kiss and nearly headbutts Kris in the jaw.

He twists around in Kris’ arms with a scowl. He knows that obnoxious whine very well. “Get the fuck out of here, Dae! You have to wait just like everyone else.” Jongdae cackles from where he’s circling the food on the counter. Junmyeon tries to lunge out of Kris’ arms to tackle Jongdae before he starts inhaling everything in sight. For someone so small, he can put away massive amounts of food in a miniscule amount of time.

Kris holds Junmyeon by the waist though, giggling as he squirms and makes grabby hands at Jongdae. “Kris, let me go! He’s going to eat _everything!_ Ugh – Minseok, come get your boyfriend!”

“Let him snack on something if he’s hungry, baby,” Kris whispers. “We made more than enough for everyone to eat.”

Junmyeon looks back at Kris over his shoulder, entirely unimpressed. He has no idea the havoc Jongdae can cause if given the chance. He’s heard stories, yes, but he doesn’t _know_. Junmyeon has seen Jongdae eat a whole box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, seen him devour a tray of Kyungsoo’s brownies in the span of two hours. None of them have ever really seen it, but Sehun _swears_ that Jongdae can unhinge his jaw like a snake. Minseok says that he deepthroats like a champion – easily one of the worst things Junmyeon has ever heard Minseok say in his entire life, but it supports Junmyeon’s point. And so he pouts at Kris for a moment and then shouts, “ _Minseok!_ ”

Luhan appears instead. “I got him, Myeon, don’t worry.” He grabs Jongdae around the middle and drags him out of the kitchen even as he whines. “Patience, DaeDae.”

“No patience,” Jongdae whines and tries to wiggle his way out, “only food! Luhan, you are an evil, awful, terrible boyfriend!”

And that stings. It shouldn’t, but it’s like someone has jammed a knife into his chest and twisted it, satisfied smile at Jongdae being removed like the pest he is turning into a grimace. Because there’s nothing different about his Jongdae’s situations; they’re both broke ass college students being held around the waist against their will by two men who are older, wealthier, and very much attracted to them. There is _nothing_ different about their situations, except that there is and it’s the one aspect that actually matters – Jongdae is Luhan’s _boyfriend_ and there’s commitment and trust and relationship, and Junmyeon is Kris’ fucking sugar baby with no idea how long their arrangement is going to last. Jongdae has a relationship with two other men who, for some reason, love him to pieces, and Junmyeon has a fucking _arrangement_.

It’s Junmyeon’s fault that they didn’t have this dinner sooner. He’s the one who came up with excuses or tried to change the subject whenever Kris mentioned it. He tried to put this gathering off for as long as humanly possible because he knew this would happen. He knew he’d catch a glimpse of how his closest friends are thriving in happy, healthy relationships with Kris’ closest friends, and he knew it would kill him inside.

His chest aches, ribs pulling so tight he wonders if they’ll crack and he’ll implode like miserable balloon. Kris notices. He can feel how Kris pulls him in closer, kisses the side of his head. And it just makes everything hurt that much worse.

The elevator dings. “Sorry we’re late! We got lost, not used to this side of town,” Chanyeol yells, voice booming off the walls.

“Let me go,” Junmyeon whispers. The arms around his waist tighten. He can hear Kris whispering back, telling him that they’ll both go greet them in a moment. Like a couple welcoming people into their home. He can’t play pretend, not tonight, not when every ounce of affection Kris rains down on him makes it so hard to breathe.

There are shards of glass in his throat, rubber bands around his lungs. He’s honestly not sure if he’ll make it through the night without snapping into pieces. God, why did he let Kris talk him into this?

Junmyeon knows exactly why, because Kris said that getting all their friends together would be fun and it would make him happy and there is nothing Junmyeon wants to do more than make Kris happy. Even if it means shredding his own heart in the process.

So he lets Kris hold for a few moments more even though he really wants to go hide in the bathroom and cry until his body literally runs out of water to make tears. And Kris smiles so wide as they walk hand-in-hand into the living room to greet everyone, dining table extended and set in the middle of the room to fit them all. He’s so happy when he pulls Junmyeon’s chair out for him and sets out what food they can fit on the dining table.

“Junmyeon will say that I helped cook,” Kris says as they’re passing around dishes, “but I really just stood there and did what he told me to do. He worked his ass off.” He reaches over and squeezes Junmyeon’s hand with a dazzling, heart-stopping smile, and for a moment it’s almost enough to breathe some sincerity back into Junmyeon’s own.

“We’ll hold the next one then, give him a break.” He looks down the table and sees Baekhyun grinning back, eyes twinkling with excitement. “Sehun’s getting pretty good in the kitchen now so maybe we can get him to do most of the work,” Baekhyun laughs and leans over to kiss Sehun’s cheek when he whines about not being _that_ good.

Junmyeon can hear Minseok and Jongdae cooing, can see Kyungsoo smiling fondly and nudging his shoulder against Chanyeol’s. He doesn’t do anything at all, just turns to look down at his plate and gently pulls his hand out from under Kris’.

His discomfort is painfully obvious. A foot bumps into his own under the table and he looks up to see Minseok staring at him, eyebrows pulled together in concern. The easy, friendly air that had been hanging over the table falls away. And that’s not okay. They should all be enjoying their night, not sitting in awkward half-silence because he’s constantly on the brink of a DEFCON 1 meltdown. But he isn’t sure if he can sit and watch without losing his fucking mind.

So he stands up, plasters half a smile on his face, and asks, “Does anyone need anything? I think there’s more meat in the kitchen.” He can hear how tight his voice has gone, the way it jumps up in pitch as forces the calm.

“No,” Luhan waves for him to sit down. “Kris just said you cooked it all, so sit down and relax and make him play host.” There’s a murmur of agreement around the table and Kris starts to stand.

Junmyeon stops him with a hand on his shoulder. Kris puts a hand up to rest over his almost immediately, looking up with big eyes that scream for Junmyeon to cave and let Kris help. All it does is make his stomach twist so hard he gets nauseous. His voice goes up and up until he feels like he’s squeaking. “No, no, I don’t mind. I like to help.”

If he’s busy playing host, he won’t have to sit down. If he doesn’t have to sit down, he won’t have to watch all their friends be happy in their relationships like the envious, self-pitying, little goblin he is. It’s like that one meme with the guy pointing to his forehead, except sad and hopeless and really just a poor attempt at using humor to cope with his problems – which is honestly and accurate description of nearly every meme in existence.

His plan doesn’t work at all. He really only has to make one trip to bring out the extra meat He has lived with Jongdae, Minseok, and Sehun for so, so long, long enough to know that they won’t hesitate to take advantage if someone gets up during a meal. He’s expecting seven different requests that they only remember just as he’s sitting down. He’s _counting_ on it.

But they don’t say anything. When he comes back with the meat and asks if anyone needs anything, they all shake their heads. Kris pushes Junmyeon’s chair out for him with a foot and offers a hopeful smile.

He sits down, because what else is he supposed to do?

"Seems like you really know your way around Kris' kitchen," Yixing says after a moment, gentle smile on his face and eyes curving into sweet half-moons. Junmyeon shrugs even as his cheeks start to burn.

"Better than Kris, that's for sure," Baekhyun barks out a laugh and bows in his seat as Jongdae puts a hand up for a high-five. Kris scoffs and rolls his eyes but doesn't protest.

Jongdae's eyes sparkle with mischief and what's probably the promise of a slow, painful death. He winks, "I wonder how well he knows Kris' bedroom." Baekhyun grins so wide Junmyeon wonders how his face isn't splitting in two and cackles – Junmyeon is _convinced_ he's actually a swamp witch. Sehun leans against Yixing's shoulder and whines, but Yixing just looks at the scene in front of him with resignation.

Sehun's complained more than a few times about how quickly Jongdae and Baekhyun became friends. It's like they could sniff out each other's need to cause suffering and decided to join forces to torture everyone in the general vicinity.

Junmyeon remembers calling Minseok one night to let him know he was staying the night at Kris' and his eardrum exploding from the sheer volume of Baekhyun and Jongdae 'having fun' in the background. Junmyeon still isn't sure how imitating a fucking supersonic jet is fun.

But between their energy and Chanyeol's inability to be sad, the somber, suffocating atmosphere starts to lift.

As the sadness dissipates, it's like everyone at the table starts to come alive. Yixing offers a story from work at the restaurant that has Kyungsoo snorting and hiding his face in Chanyeol's sleeve. It makes Minseok, Sehun, and Jongdae break into hysterics because they _never_ get to see Kyungsoo laugh like that.

Junmyeon doesn't really join in, still lost in his own head. The sadness is still there, just simmering under the surface, but it's not the overwhelming, all-consuming misery from just a few minutes ago. And he'll take it, he'll take anything but that deep, dark, sadness eating him from the inside out. He watches everyone else laugh together and picks at his food; maybe, if he's lucky, he'll absorb some of that happiness through emotional osmosis and stop being such a fucking buzzkill.

He's barely paying attention to what's going on besides the sound of laughter and silverware clinking against plates. He doesn't think there's really anything for him to pay attention to. It's pretty obvious that they're just sharing stories and roasting each other at every single opportunity.

He should've known that he'd end up in the line of fire eventually. He's quite literally a sitting duck, staring down at his food. They must've been talking about jobs or careers, something with money. Because he tunes at the sound of his name just in time to hear Chanyeol say, voice rushed and breathless like he's speaking before he can give himself a chance to think, "Well Junmyeon's got the easiest job of all. He's a boyfriend-for-hire!"

The silence is deafening.

He can hear Kyungsoo quietly scolding Chanyeol, voice hushed but _seething_ with rage. Kris is at Junmyeon's side, whispering something. He doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to hear _anything_.

Junmyeon doesn't even think before he's pushing away from the table with some weak, watery, warbling excuse of having to use the bathroom.

He doesn't even get the chance to close the bathroom door before Minseok is coming in after him and closing the door for him. It's a good thing too, because Junmyeon isn't sure if he'll able to see how to work the lock through his tears.

Junmyeon collapses into Minseok's arms and _sobs_.

"I know," Minseok whispers, "God, I know. He didn't mean it. He was trying to keep up with Baekhyun and Jongdae and you know how competitive he is. He doesn't think before he speaks." Junmyeon nods. He knows, he's been at the receiving end of Chanyeol's intense need to win more times than he can count. But it's never hurt like this before. "That was still a shitty thing to do. Don't just give him a pass for being a dick because he's competitive; just keep in mind that he really wasn't trying to hurt you."

"B-but it still _hurts_." And Junmyeon hates that he sounds so whiny. "God, Minnie, why does it hurt so _bad?"_

Minseok doesn't answer, just hums and rocks them both back and forth. Junmyeon buries his face in his best friend's shoulder and cries himself out, soaking in the familiar comfort.

His chest aches and he wonders if it's possible for a heart to actually break. He thinks it is, because it feels like his has split itself into a million little pieces. Chanyeol is right, he's a fucking boyfriend-for-hire. And maybe that works for Zitao, who's on a date right now with another sugar baby named Jongin, but it's tearing Junmyeon apart.

"Myeonnie?"

"Yeah," Junmyeon hiccups.

Minseok sighs and pulls back. "You love Kris, don't you?" Junmyeon tries to laugh the idea off, but it comes out like a sob.

"Please don't ask me that. _Please_ , please don't ask me." Because he can't love Kris. If he did, he wouldn't be able to live like this anymore. If he admits that he loves Kris, he'll have to leave. Because he can't be with Kris, he can't have someone so wonderful and perfect hold and kiss him if they don't _mean_ it. He can't love Kris when Kris doesn't love him back.

And Minseok just nods, because that's an answer in and of itself, isn't it?

"You're so stupid," Minseok says so sadly. Junmyeon nods and they both laugh because Junmyeon is so fucking stupid for getting himself into this situation and even stupider for not getting himself out when he has the chance. But Minseok helps him wipe away the tears and splash cold water in his face until there's no sign that he was crying at all.

Chanyeol knocks on the door eventually, already babbling apologies. "I'm so sorry, Junmyeon. I didn't mean, I really, really, really, really, _really_ didn't mean it. It was so stupid – _I'm_ so stupid."

Junmyeon pulls open the bathroom door before Chanyeol works himself into tears and opens his arms for Chanyeol's requisite apology hug. "'s okay. I-I can't say that I'm okay, but I know you didn't mean it."

"You get five free insults on me. They can be redeemed whenever and as mean as you want. You can even have Jongdae come up with them for you."

Junmyeon laughs and sniffles, squeezing Chanyeol tightly. "No, I'm not gonna make fun of you. You're too cute to make fun of."

"I'm still super sorry. But I mean...if it really hurt you that bad maybe you should do something about it?" Junmyeon freezes and Chanyeol's voice goes quieter, less confident. "M-maybe...maybe you should tell Kris how you feel."

And Junmyeon just shakes his head because that – it's simply not an option. He's not sure it ever will be. If he tells Kris how he feels, even that he just really, _really_ likes him, he risks losing him. And even though holding everything in is killing Junmyeon right now, he's pretty sure that losing Kris would destroy him.

The rest of the dinner passes in somber half-silence. Forks and knives clink against the plates, someone will ask for a dish to be passed around, but no one really talks. It sounds like Yixing is acting as a telephone for Baekhyun and Sehun, who are whispering furiously at each other about something Junmyeon can’t hear. Which is strange, considering how unnervingly quiet it is.

Junmyeon is the last one to finish eating, mostly picking at the cake Kris had yelled at for three hours the night before. It’s good – Junmyeon was the one who had to keep tasting crumbs and extra pieces to reassure him that it was good. But it sits bland and unappetizing in his mouth. Each bite he takes just adds to the rock sitting in the pit of his stomach and eventually has to put his fork down before he makes himself throw up.

And then it’s like a mass exodus. Chairs squeak across the floor and everyone is making quiet, hurried excuses about why they have to leave so soon.

Junmyeon bites down on the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood. He wants to – he should tell them that they don’t have to lie, that he knows that he’s the reason they all want to leave so soon. He ruined the entire night because he’s a fucking disaster who couldn’t keep it together for one single night because, what, because his sugar daddy doesn’t want to date him? He’s pathetic for ruining everyone’s night and even more pathetic because he’s just sitting here while all his friends are leaving.

A hand settles on his thigh and he quickly rubs at his eyes and sucks in a breath. Kris hasn’t gotten up either, probably waiting for Junmyeon if the expectant smile on his face says anything. “I’ll go see everyone out, alright? Then we’ll clean up and go to bed?”

Junmyeon can’t believe that Kris still wants him to stay. He ruined the dinner, the thing Kris has been talking about for the past few weeks because he was so, so excited for it.

And maybe that’s why Kris doesn’t want to date him, because he throws fits in the middle of parties like a fucking toddler.

But Junmyeon isn’t a toddler, he’s a mostly grown man who can at least _try_ to make up for causing a scene by walking everyone to the door. “No,” he says, “I should go tell everyone goodbye.” He doesn’t want to, but he should and so he will. He pushes himself out of his chair and takes a few deep, steadying breaths as he catches up to where everyone is putting their shoes back on next to the elevator.

Chanyeol lunges for him the second he sees him. “I’m still really sorry, Myeon,” he mumbles. Junmyeon shrugs and waves it away. It was just a joke, kind of cruel, but still just a joke. “Are you going home tomorrow? I’ll let you beat me in whatever video game – _all_ the video games.”

“Yeah? I get to win,” Junmyeon laughs even as he feels tears well up. He’s teetering so close to the edge of a breakdown that his tears on a hair trigger.

Chanyeol nods so hard Junmyeon’s a little scared he’ll concuss himself. He only pulls away when Kyungsoo makes him, tugging him toward the elevator after throwing an arm around Junmyeon for a loose hug.

Sehun takes his place almost immediately. He shoos Baekhyun and Yixing away with a pout and then wraps his entire noodley body around Junmyeon in some attempt at a hug. “You gotta stop lying. And don’t try to tell me that you aren’t, because you fucking _are_. And it’s gotta stop before it tears you both apart.”

“I don’t even know what I’m lying about,” Junmyeon doesn’t want to talk about this. He wants to push this entire conversation somewhere far, far away where it can’t hurt him. But Sehun won’t let him. Sehun has never been good at letting anything go.

“Bullshit. You know exactly what I mean. You just keep pretending and pretending that nothing is wrong and – God, it’s pissing me off. I love you so much, Junmyeon, but you have got to stop lying, to Kris _and_ to yourself.”

The elevator dings as it reaches Kris’ floor and everyone rushes in, leaving Junmyeon staring at the floor, absolutely gutted.

Kris and Junmyeon clean up in silence. Junmyeon is on the edge of tears and Kris keeps trying to take over tasks and gently nudge him to go sit and calm down until it's all done. But the last thing he needs to do right now is sit and give his brain the space to think. He's done enough thinking in the past evening to last him the rest of his life.

So when they finally finish cleaning and collapse into bed, Junmyeon fits himself into the curl of Kris' body – _craves_ the physical comfort now that he doesn't have to watch it happen between anyone else.

Kris doesn't push him away. Junmyeon almost expected it. He'd been pushing Kris away and avoiding his attempts at affection all evening, so it would sort of make sense. But Kris pulls him closer with an arm around his back and lets him bury his face in his chest.

"What did I do," Kris asks, voice small, quiet, _vulnerable._ Like Junmyeon's meltdown had somehow been his fault. "I'm sorry and I won't do it again, just please tell me what I did."

" _Nothing_. You – none of this was your fault. You were perfect – you _are_ perfect. You did everything right, Kris." He doesn't know how many times he has to say it, if there's any perfect phrase that will pull all the guilt out from Kris' bones and put it back in Junmyeon's where it belongs.

Kris laughs hollowly, "All I want to do is make you happy. So I'm obviously not doing that right."

Tears finally spill over and Junmyeon clings to Kris as tightly as he can. "You _do_ make me happy. You make me so happy."

"Then what happened? Why are you so sad all the time? God, please _talk to me,"_ Kris tightens his hold and it feels like heaven. "I know I can't fix everything and that a lot of this is just – it's not going to go away just because you tell me. But I'm here and I want to help. I care about you a lot. It hurts me to see you hurting like this."

Junmyeon nods. He knows it hurts him. He would have to be a fucking idiot to not know. Junmyeon is just so goddamn selfish that he'd rather hurt them both than let Kris go. He isn't sure if he can keep making that choice though, not when Kris is here and saying that he's hurting. "I care about you too. A-and I'll tell you. I _will_ , I-I just...I'll need some time. Just a little bit more time."

He just needs a little more time with Kris before he loses him. Just a little more to really savor it, and then he'll let go.

Tears roll down his cheeks and soak into Kris' shirt. He cares about Kris so, so much, likes him so much that he can't think about it without his chest seizing up in panic.

"Okay," Kris says, "Take your time, baby. I'll be right here when you're ready." Lips press against Junmyeon's forehead. "You're stuck with me, remember? Neither of us are going anywhere anytime soon."

Junmyeon winces, heart twisting into knots in his chest. How can he say something like that and sound so sure about it when Junmyeon feels like they're three seconds away from breaking apart. Still, he curls up in Kris' hold and prays to whoever's listening that he'll be able to stay here for just a little while longer.

* * *

 

Junmyeon isn't sure what starts it. They're lying in bed, early summer heat settled over them as moonlight shines through the window, trading kisses in the dark. Junmyeon should probably tell Kris to turn the fan on, body hot and sweat beading along his hairline. But that would mean pushing Kris away and breaking their kiss, and that's just not an option. He isn't sure the fan would do much anyway. It's not the summer that's making him so hot.

They haven't done much physically outside of making out. In Junmyeon's expert opinion, Kris is the best kisser in the entire world. He can never get just one kiss from Kris. When they don't have a lot of time, like at the end of a date or when Kris was dropping him off before class, he'll still manage to weasel out one, two, three more kisses just by pouting and asking as sweetly as he could manage.

When they're just lazing in around Kris' apartment like this, it feels like they kiss for hours.

But that's all they do. Sometimes he'll be in Kris' lap, pressed chest-to-chest with Kris' hands up his shirt or slipping just under the waistband of his pants, but nothing further. Kris has started going shirtless more and more as spring turned to summer; Junmyeon has noticed and taken advantage of any opportunity to touch. But once dicks get hard, they pull apart, take a breather, and cuddle as chastely as they can.

That's where it's going now. Junmyeon's dick is hard and sensitive where it's pressed up against Kris' thigh and he can feel Kris' against his hip, hot, hard, and heavy. So Kris starts to pull back, kissing him on the tip of his nose with a smile and pulling his shirt back down. "Wanna turn on a movie?"

No, Junmyeon does _not_ want to turn on a movie. He's the reason they haven't gone any farther than this, Kris waiting for him to make the first move, until he was ready and he wanted it. And now he _wants_.

So he shakes his head and grabs Kris by the shoulders. "I'm ready," he says.

Kris blinks. "Ready for...?"

Junmyeon's cheeks start to feel hot, and not in a sexy way. He thought that that would be enough, he would tell Kris he was ready and they would immediately progress into sex. That's what happened the last few times he had sex. But no, Kris is hovering above him, noses touching, eyes wide in confusion, and not catching on in the slightest.

"S-sex," Junmyeon stutters and presses his hips forward into Kris' leg in an attempt at being sexy. And then feels his entire face burn because he feels ridiculous.

Kris' mouth drops open. His eyes flash with something that looks promising but doesn't lead anywhere. "Oh, baby, are you sure? We haven't talked about sex yet.”

Junmyeon nods. He's never wanted anyone as badly as he wants Kris' right now. They've been waiting for him to make the first move. And here he is, making the first move. "I'm sure, please?" Silence hangs over them both and Junmyeon chews on his lower lip as it stretches on. There could be a million thoughts going through Kris' head right now , but all Junmyeon can think about is how much he wants him and how much he hopes Kris wants him back.

A cloud must pass in front of the moon. The entire room plunges into darkness and Junmyeon stares up at Kris, a little nervous, but warm and safe underneath his body. And maybe that's what started making Junmyeon want Kris so bad, the all-consuming safety he feels even as he's trapped under Kris' weight.

When the moonlight floods back in, Junmyeon gasps. There's no time to react, not when Kris is dipping back down to kiss him breathless.

"Yeah," Kris sighs against Junmyeon's lips, eyes dark and reflecting moonlight, "yeah, fuck, want you too." It's like when Junmyeon's cousins dared him to lick an electric fence when he was little; a shock zips through his body and makes his heart skip a beat, thrilling like nothing else he'd ever experienced.

He meets Kris kiss for kiss, trying to give just as much as he gets. It's hard because he's so inexperienced and excited that he can't focus for shit, but he's trying. And he thinks Kris knows it, because he smiles into the kisses even as he's biting at Junmyeon's lips or licking into his mouth.

Junmyeon's heart is racing and he has to pull back to catch his breath. He's just so nervous and excited and it's all knotting together in the pit of his stomach and making him want Kris even more.

When he pulls back, Kris starts trailing wet, sucking kisses down along his jaw and down his neck, making him squirm and pant like the unexperienced, over-eager, little goblin he is.

"Baby, Junmyeon," Kris murmurs. Junmyeon moans back softly. "You gotta tell me if it's too much, understand? Too much, uncomfortable, you just don't like it, tell me. There's no such thing as no turning back. You say stop and we stop."

Junmyeon nods, heads, both of them, focused on how horny he is even as his heart flips with warmth. "I'll tell you, promise."

Kris grins softly and kisses him on the lips once more. Hands slip under Junmyeon's shirt, "Then let's get this off, hm? Wanna touch you." And Junmyeon is wholeheartedly up for that. He lets Kris pull it up and over his head, tossing it somewhere in the dark room.

It's so dark that it's a little hard to see things that aren't right in front of his face, but he can feel Kris' eyes as they travel down his body, lasers mapping out new territory. "Perfect," Kris breathes, "I'm pretty sure it's illegal to be this perfect." Junmyeon's face burns, heart fluttering with pride. He's pretty sure that he should be the one saying that to Kris though.

He pushes himself up on his elbows and kisses Kris on the mouth. He has to; he's so full of affection that he feels like he'll explode if he doesn't do _something._

He trails fingers down Kris' chest just as Kris does the same to him. It's smooth, soft skin and resting his palm against Kris' chest to feel his heartbeat, blinking in the dark as lips move from his neck down to his collarbone and then even further. Junmyeon gasps and grips Kris' shoulder hard as the man kisses a line down his chest, cock twitching in his pants.

"Too fast?"

"N-no," Junmyeon sucks in a breath and wonders when he got so sensitive, like everything is brand new. Probably because of Kris. Everything he does with Kris feels like first time, so excited and eager that he's not sure if he'll last. "Just – I like it."

Kris laughs and his face is settled right in the moonlight so Junmyeon can see how he smiles until his nose crinkles and his eyes squish at the corners. "Good, that's the whole point."

"But I wanna touch you too."

And then the world is spinning, rolling until Junmyeon is settled on top of Kris, straddling his hips. "Go ahead and touch, I'm not gonna stop you," Kris purrs.

Junmyeon bites at his lower lip, nerves making his hands shake. He traces shapes across Kris' chest, committing the curves, lines, feel of him to memory. He gently draws a finger across one of Kris' nipples and gasps when Kris' cock twitches underneath him. Kris huffs out a laugh, hands coming to grab Junmyeon's hips and hold him in place even as he presses his chest up into Junmyeon's hands.

Junmyeon experiments. He tries being gentle, tries rolling, pinching. He freezes when Kris hisses and pulls away. "Gentle, baby," Kris murmurs, "anything else hurts." Junmyeon nods and leans down to kiss him in apology.

A burst of confidence comes out of nowhere and tells him to lick once just to see what'll happen. His tongue barely brushes against Kris' nipple before Kris is gasping and swearing, hips thrusting up as Kris' hands push Junmyeon's hips down.

"Good," Junmyeon asks, blinking up at Kris as innocently as he can, head resting against Kris' chest.

"Very good, you praise hungry little goblin." Junmyeon giggles and grins, darting up for another kiss.

Slowly, Junmyeon works his way down Kris' body until he's face-to-face with his belly button. His mind spins. Kris' dick is _right there_. And he's never had the urge to suck someone's dick before, but holy shit does Junmyeon _want._

He looks down and sees the bulge in Kris' sweatpants. Saliva gathers on his tongue. He plays with the elastic of Kris' sweatpants and swallows nervously. "Can I, uh... I wanna suck your dick."

Kris chokes on air and his dick visibly twitches. Junmyeon feels nervous pride build in his chest because _he_ did that. He's the reason Kris is so hard, why his dick is pushing at the fabric of his sweatpants like it wants out. He traces one finger along the outline and listens as Kris swears.

"Y-yeah, fuck – _please_."

Junmyeon pulls Kris' sweatpants down and blushes when his cock springs free, larger than Junmyeon expected. "Didn't feel like wearing underwear around the house," Kris explains, sounding a little embarrassed. "Know you're not wearing any either." Junmyeon doesn't respond, just keeps pushing Kris' pants down until the man kicks them off.

And then it's just Junmyeon staring at Kris' dick, arousal making his stomach twist uncomfortably. He hasn't sucked dick much, or really at all besides one disastrous attempt back in high school, but he _really_ wants to try again. So he leans down and licks a stripe up the underside, and then another when Kris moans in surprise and long fingers slide into his hair.

"D-don't push yourself too hard," Kris breathes.

Junmyeon nods. "I know. I won't. I just wanna try."

So he tries, taking the head of Kris' dick in his mouth. Kris groans and twists his fingers in Junmyeon's hair, hips straining like he's trying not to thrust. Sucking dick doesn't seem so bad, not when Kris is so careful to not push, to let him go at his own pace. It makes Junmyeon want to please him even more, he _wants_ to push himself and see how good he can make Kris feel.

So he tries to take Kris' dick as far as he can and gags so hard he nearly throws up.

He doesn't even get a chance to try again, hands fitting under his arms to haul him back up the bed. Junmyeon blinks and then he's on his back. Kris is above him, eyebrows creased in worry even though it's obvious he's trying to not laugh. "Oh, Myeon, I told you not to push yourself too hard. You've never blown anyone before, you're not going to deep-throat me on the first try."

"But I want to try," Junmyeon pouts. Kris leans down for a kiss and then pulls back with a smile. "Let me try again. I won't go so far this time." But Kris just stays above him, eyes dark.

"How about I take care of you instead?" And Junmyeon inhales sharply, nodding slowly because that also sounds very nice. "I'd rather let you learn how to suck dick when I'm not so turned on I'm about to explode."

Kris shifts onto one arm and reaches over into the nightstand on his side with the other. He fishes around for a few moments before pulling out lube and a condom and dropping them on the bed next to Junmyeon. "I've never cared for anyone like I care about you," Kris whispers after another soft, slow kiss. "I just – I just wanted to tell you that."

Things are so soft after that, just touches and kisses. Sweet, slow, golden around the edges like a sunrise. Junmyeon's head goes a little fuzzy, and basks in the sensations and affection.

Eventually the lube clicks open and slick fingers press against Junmyeon's hole, but it's a little lost under everything else. When Kris finds his prostate, he moans so loud it scares him. Kris laughs and showers the area with careful attention until Junmyeon's dick is twitching and leaking against his stomach, moans tapering into whines, and hips fucking back onto Kris' fingers for more.

"Ready," Junmyeon forces out, teetering to close to the edge for comfort. "I'm ready."

Kris slowly withdraws his fingers and moves back up the bed. Junmyeon catches his breath as he listens to the crinkle and rip of the condom wrapper being torn open. Not that it does any good because he loses all his air in a big rush as Kris positions himself and then slowly pushes in.

"Oh," Junmyeon moans, stretch aching in the best possible way, "Oh _fuck_." Kris echoes his moan right back at him. The hands on his hips tighten as Kris bottoms out. Junmyeon can hear Kris trying to ask if he's okay, voice lost in breathless pants and moans. "Good, really good."

Kris grins. Junmyeon can't see it every well in the dark, especially with his eyes squeezed shut as he adjusts, but he knows it's gorgeous. It's probably bright and breath-taking like a sunbeam or something else ridiculously romantic. Junmyeon just grabs hold of Kris' forearms and breathes through the stretch, moaning softly when Kris leans down to kiss him.

Moments pass as they kiss and the ache turns _nice_. It's not enough and Junmyeon wants more, squirming and pushing his hips back into Kris'. "Move please. I'm ready."

"Okay," Kris whispers. He kisses Junmyeon on the cheek and then sits up, slowly pulling out. Junmyeon blinks his eyes open and takes a few deep breaths to try to clear his head. It's all so much and he doesn't want to miss a single moment of it, but there's something in him that says something isn't right. His eyes slowly adjust to the dark.

And on the ceiling, right above them, is a black blob that has to be a fucking spider. Junmyeon _screams_.

"What? Did I hurt you? Oh my god, baby, are you bleeding?" Kris leaning back over him and cupping his face with one hand as the other reaches down to probe at his hole. The touch makes Junmyeon shiver deliciously, but he shoves the feeling aside.

"There's a spider on the ceiling," Junmyeon shouts. Kris sounds as terrified as Junymeon feels, and while it's nice to know he's not the only one afraid of spiders, it's a little worrying. If Kris is scared, then who is going to kill the spider? Because it sure as hell isn't Junmyeon.

"A spider?"

"Yes! Look!"

Kris almost collapses on top of Junmyeon with a sigh of absolute relief. "That's what you're screaming about? You're not in pain?" And that's when Junmyeon realizes Kris was panicking for a very different reason – one that makes a lot more sense.

"Oh… I'm fine – sorry. I just…I'm really scared of spiders. We gotta kill it right now."

"Right now? Baby, I'm literally inside you and the spider is all the way on the ceiling!" Junmyeon shrugs. That means _nothing_ to him, not with a spider on the ceiling.

"And what if it falls off? Do you know how many legs would be in this bed, Kris? Do you know how many _legs_ would be in this _bed_ , Kris? Too many! You need to kill it!"

And Kris just sighs and pulls out, mocking Junmyeon as he grabs a tissue off the nightstand. "Do you know how many legs would in this bed," he mimics. He laughs when Junmyeon kicks at him. He says something else, something that sounds earth-shattering and life-changing, but Junmyeon pretends he didn't hear it.

Instead, he watches as Kris has to chase the spider around the room. The little fucker is quick though, and nearly ten minutes pass before Kris manages to catch the spider in the tissue and release it on the windowsill.

By then, both of them are soft and the mood is completely killed. Junmyeon blushes in embarrassment and sits up, shoulders hunched in. "Sorry, kinda ruined the night, huh?"

Kris shakes his head and flops onto the bed next to him. He runs a hand through Junmyeon's hair and pushes himself up on his arms for a kiss. "Your spidey-senses were tingling, what could you have done?" Junmyeon groans and tries to push him away, but Kris just wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him close. "Maybe it wasn't perfect like it is in the movies, but it was perfect for me."

"Really?"

Kris nods. "It was with you."

Junmyeon's heart tries to jump out of his chest and launch itself into Kris' hands. "You're so cheesy."

"Cheesy for you," Kris says. "Never been like this with anyone else."

They share a grin and one more kiss. Junmyeon's heart flutters, his faces feels hot, and all he wants to do is spend the rest of his life right here, right now. Eventually, Junmyeon slides out of bed to get a shower and clean the lube out of his ass. He comes back in one of Kris' sweatshirts and sees that Kris is still awake, staring at him from underneath the covers.

Junmyeon watches Kris' eyes track him as he goes to toss his towel and their discarded clothes from earlier in the hamper. He stops at the foot of the bed with his hands on his hips, trying to force down a smile. "What? Why are you staring at me?"

"Nothing…just thinking about how much I…how cute you are," Kris replies, and the moonlight reflects off what looks like sadness in his eyes. He holds a hand out and Junmyeon scrambles into bed, tucking himself into Kris' chest and clinging like maybe he can suck all the sadness out of Kris and into himself. Like a little sadness shamwow.

Kris wraps his arms around Junmyeon and squeezes tight, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead. "Let's get some sleep."

* * *

 

In the morning, they wake up with the sun. Kris fishes another condom out of the nightstand and they have soft, slow, sleepy sex bathed in golden light. Thankfully spider-free.

Junmyeon is still coming down from his high as Kris kisses him on the forehead and starts pushing himself out of bed. "Gonna go clean myself up a little and then I'll start the shower for us. Can you strip the sheets?" Junmyeon nods but pulls Kris down for one last needy kiss. "Anything for you, baby."

Junmyeon lies there, chest heaving and cum cooling on his stomach. His mind is slow and quiet from sex and the early hour, but it just means that the realization creeps up on him like the dawn outside the window instead of crashing into him like a freight train.

He loves Kris. He has loved for him for quite a while and will likely love him for a long time. He just never wanted to admit it before.

The shower starts in the bathroom and tears start to slip down Junmyeon's cheeks. He loves Kris so badly it hurts, so much that he would move the sun and the stars to make him happy. Junmyeon loves him – Junmyeon _loves_ him.

He loves Kris, and that means he can't do this anymore. He can't just be Kris' sugar baby when he loves him. Junmyeon cries silently at the ceiling because he loves Kris and that's why he's going to lose him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...only one chapter left now! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Writing smut is not necessarily my forte, but I feel like this wasn't too bad hahaha. (and also I /promise/ we're almost off the angst train!)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junmyeon loves him so much. Loves his smile, loves his laugh, loves the way he clutches his chest whenever he sees Junmyeon wearing one of his shirts without any pants on underneath. Loves his patience and his thoughtfulness and every single fucking thing about him. Junmyeon buries his face in his hands, tears leaking out. He thought he ran out of those when he was in the shower. Junmyeon loves Kris, would love him so well and be so good to him. So why can't he? Why can't he just try?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are...six months after I started posting this hot mess express. I want to thank each and everyone of you for reading and supporting this fic. If you've been here since the beginning or if you just happened to stumble upon this fic now, whenever now is, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this fic and go on a little journey with me as we watched Junmyeon be very, very stupid. This fic was a labor of love and I honestly never really meant to write it in its entirety. I just started working on it one night, left it alone for a few months, and then decided to pick it up and run with it. And now it's turned into this lol. 
> 
> Regardless, I hope you have enjoyed the fic up to this part and that you will continue to enjoy it all the way to the end <3
> 
> As always, a big thank you to [Aarushi](https://twitter.com/Aarushi_c18) for being the best beta in the whole wide world <3

Junmyeon rests his head against the back of the couch, hair still damp from the shower. Water runs down the back of his neck and soaks into the collar of Kris' sweater. It's probably wrong, probably a little pathetic, that he's wearing Kris' sweater when he knows this could be the last time they ever see each other. His heart aches and he lets out a shuddering breath. This is probably the last time they ever see each other.

Kris had watched him from his spot on the bed as he dug through Kris’ drawers and pulled out the sweater with a big smile, a sudden call from one of his designers keeping him out of the shower. " _Looks good on you_ ," he'd mouthed.

Junmyeon loves him _so much_. Loves his smile, loves his laugh, loves the way he clutches his chest whenever he sees Junmyeon wearing one of his shirts without any pants on underneath. Loves his patience and his thoughtfulness and every single fucking thing about him. Junmyeon buries his face in his hands, tears leaking out. He thought he ran out of those when he was in the shower. Junmyeon loves Kris, would love him so well and be so good to him. So why can't he? Why can't he just _try?_

The shower is running in the bathroom, both the bedroom and the bathroom doors are open and Junmyeon see the steam spilling out from the shower. He tries to commit to memory, the sight, the sound, the way Kris' apartment feels more like home than his own apartment. Junmyeon wishes he didn't have to.

Kris doesn't have to love him back. Junmyeon thinks he could handle Kris not loving him back if they could date for real. If Kris wanted him as more than a sugar baby, Junmyeon would take it and _run_.

But if Kris wanted him as more than a sugar baby, there would've been _signs._ Kris isn't subtle, he says what he wants when he wants it. If he wanted Junmyeon, he would've said something. That's how this has worked between them, Kris taking the lead and Junmyeon happily following along. He would've followed Kris right into a relationship.

Instead, Junmyeon is the one leading them straight to the end. Leading them right off a fucking cliff.

He looks around the room and sees memories play out all around him. He can see them on the kitchen floor the first night Junmyeon ever came over, shredding catalogs and eating pizza. All the times they've cooked together, screeching when something doesn't go right or Kris accidentally flambés when he was supposed to not flambé. Junmyeon sees himself studying for finals on the couch, papers and books spread all over. Christmas morning spent on the floor next to the tree, opening present after present. He can almost _feel_ Kris wrapped around him during one of the countless mornings, evenings, days, nights – moments they spent cuddling on the couch together.

Somewhere along the way, he fell in love. He doesn't know when, probably won't ever know. But somewhere along the way, he fell so deeply in love that he had to shove it down so it didn't destroy him.

The shower turns off and Kris rummages around in the bedroom, drawers opening and closing. Junmyeon listens with his heart aching in his chest.

He remembers the first time he ever saw Kris outside Baekhyun and Yixing's restaurant, their first kiss in his car. God, he remembers _everything,_ right from the beginning. And now it's all going to end.

Kris steps into the living room as he tugs a shirt over his head. Junmyeon only half-watches, mostly staring into the void as he tries to come to terms with the fact that this is the end. How much time did he waste wishing that all this was real? He knew there was an expiration date on their relationship and he'd still spent so much time locked in his own head, hours, days, _weeks_ lost because he couldn't enjoy what he had.

And now he has nothing, because he loves Kris and he _needs_ this to be real to stay.

He feels hollowed out, chest cracked open and scooped clean. He expects tears but gets nothing. He doesn't think he can even feel sad anymore, just empty. He almost wishes he could cry to show Kris that something is wrong, that he'll do anything to stay. Kris doesn't have to like him back that much, just give him a chance to make this real.

The couch cushion dips next to him. Water drips down off the ends of Kris' hair and onto his shoulders, some falling all the way down onto the couch. One drop lands in Junmyeon's palm. He closes his hand on reflex, tries to hold it, but it slips between his fingers.

It's like a sucker punch to his chest, ribs collapsing under the weight of the realization that this what he's been doing for months. Trying to hold on to something that always slip away, something not meant for him to hold.

He was never meant to be as happy as he was with Kris.

All this time has been a fluke, a mistake in the universe. And it's going to fix itself whether he wants it to or not.

The morning light is too harsh now. It burns his eyes, illuminates all his flaws in harsh contrast to how perfect Kris is. Junmyeon should've known that this wasn't meant to last. Kris is successful, kind, patient, smart, funny, everything that anyone could ever hope to be; Junmyeon is Junmyeon.

Kris cups Junmyeon's face, smiling a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, and leans in to press their lips together. Junmyeon meets him halfway, greedy and desperate for one last kiss to burn into his memory. Their lips meet and it _hurts_. Aches like nothing he's ever felt before. They pull away and Junmyeon feels like he can't breathe, lungs shriveling up and seizing. Kris' hand falls away into his lap.

"I need to tell you something," Junmyeon breathes out. His heart slowly starts to snap apart. He stares at the rug because he isn't sure he'll be able to look at Kris without falling to pieces.

Kris sighs. "Me too." Their voices are so soft, barely audible even in the quiet apartment. "Mind if I go first?"

Junmyeon shakes his head, clinging on to the extra seconds, minutes, hours, _days please._ He wants to put the end far, far away where it can't hurt him.

Kris moves away too, leaning away and pull his limbs in close like he's trying to protect himself. Junmyeon watches out of the corner of his eye as Kris props his elbows up on his knees and buries his face in his hands with a shuddering breath. He runs his hands through his hair. A heartbeat passes, and then another, and then he straightens up.

"So, this is...not easy for me to say. I've been trying to think of the right way to say it for a long time, waiting for the perfect time," Kris laughs bitterly and Junmyeon looks up from the rug in surprise. Kris is staring out at the living room, mouth pulled into a grim line as he fists his hands in the fabric of his sweatpants. "Turns out there's no perfect time. The longer I waited, the harder it was to tell you until I thought I could just live without ever saying anything. But I don't think I can. I can't live like this anymore, it hurts too much."

Hope builds against Junmyeon's will. His entire body starts to tense, heart pounding and head reeling. It's like the uphill climb on a roller coaster, except he can't see the drop, doesn't know when he'll tip over and come rushing down.

"I love you, Junmyeon. I have for months. And I can't expect you to feel the same way, but I can't expect myself to stay in this kind of relationship anymore either. I need this to be _real_."

Junmyeon stares at Kris' face, watches as the man refuses to turn and look at him, staring out at the living room to avoid the consequences of what he's saying.

The cracked open, empty feeling slowly disappears; warmth, happiness he didn't think he deserved fills him up, stuffing the void in his chest so full it nearly overflows.

Kris continues to talk, reassurances about how he'll still help with money until Junmyeon finds a different job to support himself, about how he won't blame Junmyeon if Junmyeon doesn't love him back. So many needless reassurances that Junmyeon doesn't even hear.

Kris loves him. Kris _loves_ him. Junmyeon lets out one shuddering breath, and then another. Kris loves him back. Kris wants to be with him, wants to date him _for real_ , no arrangement or contract or expiration date. Junmyeon tries to take another breath and sobs. Hot tears well up and spill over before he can stop them, not that he would've even tried.

Kris slowly stops talking. Junmyeon watches through watery eyes as he finally turns to look at him. His eyes go wide and his jaw drops.

Junmyeon crawls into Kris' lap, winds his arms around Kris' neck, and clings. He twists his fingers into the fabric of Kris' shirt, buries his face in Kris' neck, and refuses to leave. This is where he wants to be, where he wants to _stay_. And by some fucking miracle, he _can_.

"Junmyeon?"

Junmyeon sobs so sharply it hurts, but's a good hurt, a good cry. These tears are excess relief, excitement, joy, _love_ spilling out. He's crying so hard he can barely breathe. "I love you," he chokes out, "I love you _so much_."

It's like he'd hit a button, Kris' arms wrapping around his back to keep him in place the moment the words leave his lips. Good, Junmyeon wants to be stuck here. He wants Kris to hold him here like he wants to keep him forever.

"I love you," Junmyeon says over and over, words pouring out endlessly. "I love you, Kris."

"Oh thank God." Kris' voice is thick with tears too, but he tries to soothe Junmyeon regardless. "Deep breaths, baby, it's okay."

"I thought I was gonna lose you."

Kris laughs, watery but so much happier than the laugh before. "Lose _me_? I was so scared because I didn't know what I would do without _you_. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'd have to be an idiot to not fall in love with you."

Junmyeon pulls away from hiding his face in Kris' shoulder for a moment to look Kris in the eye and make sure he understands how fucking backwards that is. He doesn't even get a chance to open his mouth before Kris is yanking him back in for a kiss that unweaves any of the fear or unhappiness still left in him.

He doesn't know how long they stay like that, only that Junmyeon can't make himself stop crying. The tears slow and soften to just steady stream, but don't stop.

"You kept them in for too long," Kris jokes as he wipes some of them away with his thumbs. "Is this what you've been hiding from me? The thing with the dinner and before your chemistry final?" Junmyeon nods and Kris just smiles fondly before peppering kisses all over his face. "We could've been doing this for so long if you'd said something."

"Crying?"

Kris throws his head back and laughs even though it's not that funny. "No, goofball, dating."

Junmyeon doesn't even think about the fact that Kris could've also said something, that he's just trying to get out of acknowledging the fact that he is also very bad at expressing himself. All he can think about is, "We're dating? Like for real?" His voice quivers a little at the end; Kris' eyes soften and he nods.

"Yeah, like for real."

The tears don't stop until Junmyeon is completely worn out, leaning all his weight on Kris' chest as he tries to stay awake. His eyelashes flutter and he gives up for a little while, resting his eyes. He opens his eyes to the front camera on Kris' phone trained on the two of them together.

Junmyeon whines, " _No_ , I look bad right now. No pictures."

But Kris just hums. "You look wonderful, just like you always do." Kris picks him up then and carries him to bed before flopping down beside him and gathering him close. "I owe Baekhyun a photo of the two of us anyway."

It's so warm under the blankets, tucked close to Kris' side and surrounded by the knowledge that he's loved. Junmyeon is so, so loved. He sighs and lets his eyes slide completely shut. His breaths slow and he feels his entire body relax.

"You're so tired," Kris' voice floats over him after a little while, soft and warm and full of love. "Crying really wears you out, huh?"

Junmyeon nods. "Did a lot of it today. Cried in the shower too."

"Oh, baby, no more tears. You're gonna break my heart."

Junmyeon giggles. He slowly starts to drift off, relieved exhaustion tugging him all the way down as Kris' fingers slide into his hair.

He wakes to a phone buzzing. He blinks his eyes open and winces when his eyelashes stick together from the dried tears. He finds Kris' phone lighting up right in front of his face and groans at the sudden brightness. The time on Kris' phone says he's been asleep for about three hours.

Kris is asleep too, wrapped around him like an octopus. Junmyeon smiles and leans back into Kris' chest. He feels a little like he's been wiped clean – not empty, just like a dirty, dusty window that's finally able to let the sunlight in.

He grabs Kris' phone when he sees the groupchat pop up in the notifications. His thumbprint is registered on Kris' phone, and Kris' thumbprint is registered on Junmyeon's. Junmyeon wonders if maybe that was supposed to be some sort of sign, but waves the thought away as he unlocks the phone and opens up the groupchat, where it looks like a fucking explosion went off.

**Kris:** _[one photo attachment] As per the agreement: Baekhyun was right and I, Kris Wu, am a dumb moron who should have told Junmyeon I loved him a long time ago._

**Baekhyun:** _does this mean what i think it means?????_

**Kris:** _yes. now im muting the chat. and leave junmyeon alone for the rest of the day because i want my boyfriend all to myself._

**Minseok:** _OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING. STAY CALM EVERYONE_

**Baekhyun:** _HOLY FUCKING SHIT_

**Sehun:** _oh woah!!!_

**Jongdae:** _NO TIME FOR CALM!! ONLY SCREAMS!!!_

**Jongdae:** _@Chanyeol STOP GETTING FUCKED AND CHECK THE CHAT IT'S HAPPENING!!_

**Luhan:** _why is jongdae screaming and minseok sobbing on the bed???_

**Luhan:** _WOAH WAIT WHAT_

**Kyungsoo:** _Chanyeol is napping but we are both very happy for you_

**Baekhyun:** _im gonna lose my fucking mind oh my god_

**Baekhyun:** _Junmyeon better be getting lots of affection bc it looks like he cried his fucking eyes out_

**Yixing:** _Congratulations!! Sehun and I are so happy for you! Baekhyun is too but he's writing an entire essay about it currently so I'll let him speak for himself_

**Kris:** _i promise he is getting all the affection. he's also trying to sleep bc apparently he cried in the shower too and he wore himself out :(_

**Kris:** _poor baby. i love him so much_

The group chat devolves into chaos after that. Junmyeon laughs quietly to himself as he scrolls through the keyboard smashes and text-screaming. There are a few messages close to the end for Junmyeon to call Minseok when he wakes up, a few more that call for another dinner.

Kris shifts next to him. He grumbles and presses a soft kiss to Junmyeon's cheek. "What's so funny," he murmurs.

Junmyeon drops the phone and rolls over and snuggles in closer. "Just the chat." He smiles, tracing the lines of Kris' face with one finger. Kris snorts but shuts his eyes and lets Junmyeon play. Junmyeon leans in for a quick, barely-there kiss. His heart stutters in his chest, swelling up with joy. He gets to have this, have Kris, for _real_.

Because, "I love you," Kris sighs and tugs Junmyeon in for another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

 

Kris joins him on the grand staircase outside of the main ballroom, a platter of fried shrimp in his hands. Junmyeon cheers and makes grabby hands for them. His stomach rumbles and the fried shrimp smells _divine_. All the food at these events smell good, but he missed breakfast because he woke up late and skipped lunch because he got held up in a meeting with his adviser.

The good part is that he's set to graduate a semester early, the bad part is that he hasn't eaten anything all day but a tiny bag of chips Kris bought him at a gas station on the way to the charity gala.

Kris steered him over to the staircase as soon as they got past security and took off to sniff out some free food. Junmyeon doesn't know why Kris is the one scrambling around the venue when Junmyeon's the one with the sixth sense for food, but it's sweet. It's a reversal of the first gala they ever attended together – except Junmyeon didn't refuse to hand over the food once he found it.

"Kris," he whines, "gimme!" Kris just shakes his head and plucks one shrimp off the platter, holding it out to Junmyeon with a smile. Junmyeon's cheeks feel hot. "We're in public!"

"And?" Kris holds the shrimp closer to Junmyeon's mouth, pulling back when he goes to grab it with his hands. "No one's looking at us, baby. They're all too busy trying to get a glimpse of Sehun."

And that's true. Sehun arrived with Baekhyun and Yixing a few minutes after Kris had disappeared. Junmyeon had waved from his seat on the stairs, and Sehun had tried to make a beeline over to join him, but Baekhyun and Yixing had tugged him away with apologetic frowns. Junmyeon had tried to warn Sehun about The Gauntlet beforehand, but Sehun had been _so sure_ that Baekhyun and Yixing wouldn't put him through meeting every nosy, high-society goblin at the gala like Kris had with Junmyeon the first even they attended after officially getting together.

And yet, here he is, being walked from room-to-room with Baekhyun and Yixing on either side of him. It looks like they're trying to make it perfectly clear that Sehun isn't a sidepiece or a toy, but a loved, treasured, valued, _spoiled_ partner. And they are, but they're also boxing him in to make sure he doesn't run away.

Sehun is attracting a lot more attention than Junmyeon did. Of course, Junmyeon had already been attending events as a date or partner for months before he became Kris' _boyfriend_ , but he doesn't think he ever had as many people trying to weasel into say hello to him.

And now he's old news. No one really cares what he and Kris do anymore.

Junmyeon finally opens his mouth and lets Kris feed him the shrimp, happily accepting the kiss on the cheek he receives for letting himself be babied.

Baekhyun and Yixing escort Sehun past the staircase. Junmyeon waves when Sehun looks up at him. His heart clenches for his favorite child; Sehun's eyes are wild and he looks a little like a cornered dog or a kid being held down for shots. Junmyeon can see Baekhyun and Yixing leaning in, probably showering Sehun in praise and apologies, promises to make it up to him later. Kris had done the same when Junmyeon had to officially run The Gauntlet.

"Poor kid," Kris sighs and settles next to Junmyeon on the stairs. He hands Junmyeon the rest of the shrimp. "You _did_ try to warn him though." Junmyeon nods. He did, but he didn't have _two_ boyfriends to make sure he stayed put and actually stuck through it.

Junmyeon dipped after the seventh person asking why it took so long for him to become Kris' official partner; he found Luhan lurking in the corner of the busiest room, texting Jongdae and Minseok, and hid with him until Kris finally came and found him. Sehun doesn't have that option.

"It'll probably be okay."

"You think so?" Kris looks at him with a confused frown. Junmyeon scoots closer and kisses the furrow of his brow just because he can. Kris is _his_ boyfriend. He can kiss him whenever he damn well pleases.

Junmyeon eats two more shrimp before he answers. Because he's fucking _hungry._ "Mhm. Remember when you went out of town on business last week and Baekhyun came by to make sure I didn't set your apartment on fire?"

" _Our_ apartment." Junmyeon rolls his eyes. He isn't sure when or why Kris started insisting that his apartment belonged to both of them, but it makes Junmyeon's stomach feel all fluttery. Yes, Junmyeon has a key. Yes, Junmyeon stayed there all last week even though Kris was out of town. But that doesn't make it _their_ apartment.

"But yeah," Kris says as he steals a shrimp, "I remember."

"Well, I got him drunk and he said that he and Xing are planning on asking Sehun to move in with them tonight." And Sehun will says yes, because he's at their apartment way more than he's ever home. "I think that'll more than make up for The Gauntlet."

Kris just hums, brows scrunching together the way they always do when he's thinking too hard. It's not a face Junmyeon has seen in a long time, not since they bought a desk for Junmyeon from IKEA and Kris refused to look at the instructions while putting it together. Junmyeon opens his mouth to ask what's wrong.

And then Baekhyun and Yixing go sprinting past the staircase – without Sehun. "I thought you were holding his hand," Baekhyun shouts.

"No, that was _your_ job. You love holding his hand, Baek, come on!"

Baekhyun just whines. "How did we lose our boyfriend?"

Junmyeon and Kris stay quiet until Baekhyun and Yixing are gone. Kris turns to him, hair falling into his eyes. Kris' hair has gotten longer recently, dark brown roots coming out even more. It's a good look. Most things are a good look on him though, it's why he's modeling for some of the designers at his company.

One of the designers tried to get Junmyeon to model as well, but he skeedadled the hell out of the building before Seulgi could decide what outfit to put him in.

Kris offered one humongous favor if Junmyeon would model _just once_ , still bothers him about it sometimes, but Junmyeon is holding out the best he can. Kris gives him anything he wants, favor or no favor – thinking about that is bad though, because Kris will do _anything_ he asks and that makes Junmyeon want to do this for him.

Junmyeon tucks Kris' hair behind his ear. Kris grins, eyes sparkling, and darts in for a kiss. "You're sleeping over tonight, right?"

"It's a Friday night," Junmyeon responds, "when was the last time I _didn't_ spend the weekend with you?"

Kris hums happily and leans in for another kiss. And then another, and then another. "So these galas are useless and I donate to this charity multiple times a year anyway. Wanna head home early? Your turn to pick what we eat."

"I've been waiting for you to ask me that all night." Junmyeon stands and pulls Kris up along with him. "But what are you feeling hungry for? The good Chinese Yixing introduced us to?"

Kris nods. They sneak down the stairs and slip out the front doors, giggling like children when they spot Sehun hiding behind a potted plant. "Take me with you," he whines. "I won't even complain if you guys have really loud sex."

"Yixing, I found him," Baekhyun screeches, face pressed to the glass of the front doors.

Sehun swears and takes off, sprinting away from Baekhyun and down the front steps of the venue to where all the cars are parked. Baekhyun throws open the doors and runs after him, Junmyeon and Kris watching from the sidelines as they walk hand-in-hand to their own car.

When they're finally driving home, after Sehun had been dragged out of the backseat by a very apologetic Yixing, Kris slows to a stop at a red light and looks over at Junmyeon. "What," Junmyeon asks, "Do I have fried shrimp crumbs on my face or something?"

Kris shakes his head. "No, I just really love you."

Junmyeon's heart swells. It's been months, but he's still not used to hearing Kris say those words. He's not sure he'll ever get used to it, if he's honest. And that's okay. He doesn't want to get used to it, wants to always feel his heart skip a beat and his cheeks heat up. "I really love you too. Love you so much that I'll sit through _The Walking Dead_ tonight for as long as you want."

Kris cheers and then hits the gas. "I have the best boyfriend _ever,"_ he shouts. Junmyeon laughs loud and hard, head thrown back against his seat as Kris shimmies in his own seat.

Kris is wrong though, because it's actually _Junmyeon_ who has the best boyfriend ever. He'll let it slide for tonight though.

* * *

 

"Baby," Kris calls from the kitchen, "I think the recipe is in my nightstand, not my desk! Sorry!"

"It's okay!" Junmyeon slowly, carefully replaces all the papers he'd pulled out from Kris' desk drawer. "Let me clean up and I'll grab it! Just don't burn anything!" Kris protests loudly. Junmyeon just smiles to himself and drops the newly signed document putting Junmyeon's name on the lease for Kris' apartment on top of the stack of papers.

Moving in with Kris just came naturally. Sehun moved in with Baekhyun and Yixing, and then Minseok and Jongdae spent two weeks at Luhan's place for a trial run that never really ended. By the time Junmyeon's winter graduation rolled around, he was the only one left in the apartment – not that he was ever even there.

Kris mentioned breaking the lease a few times offhandedly, saying he'd pay the fee if Junmyeon wanted to move in with him. " _I mean you're here all the time anyway, and I like the idea of living with you._ "

For Christmas, Junmyeon had showed up with a box of his things, another few already packed and ready to go back at the old apartment, and asked if it was a good present. If the way Kris ran around the apartment, screeching and throwing things around to make space for Junmyeon's belongings is anything to go by, it was a _very_ good present.

One of Kris' other presents was trying out the cop and robber role play he fantasized about, so it wasn't the _best_ present, but still pretty good.

If moving in with Kris came naturally, living with him is easy as breathing. Junmyeon gets to wake up to his face every morning, fall asleep next to him every night. Even if he painted moving in as a present for Kris, it really turned out to be a present for himself. Junmyeon didn't think he could ever love someone the way he loves Kris.

Junmyeon eases the drawer to Kris' desk closed and stands. A drawer on the other side is open, so he pushes the desk chair and walks over to push it shut as well.

Kris howls along with a song on the radio. Junmyeon can imagine the way he's dancing, long body wiggling and squirming around. He laughs out loud, chest so full of easy contentment that he could explode.

Junmyeon goes to push the desk drawer shut and stops. Inside the drawer is a little box, black and embossed with a silver label on the front. He knows he shouldn't, it's Kris' stuff, but he reaches in and grabs it, holding it up to his face and flipping it open.

"Oh." A pretty silver ring stares back at him, a metal band with pretty little blue gems dotted along its length. Junmyeon smiles, heart pounding with elation.

"Baby, did you find it?"

"Not yet!" Junmyeon puts the box back in the drawer and pushes it shut. Kris will do it when he's ready, and Junmyeon is happy to wait until then.

He runs into the bedroom and grabs the recipe where it had been sitting on Kris' nightstand the entire time. In the kitchen, Kris is surrounded by flour and powdered sugar. It's on his face, in his hair, covering his apron. Junmyeon leans against the counter with a soft smile. "Hey, Kris? I love you."

Kris looks up from his baking disaster with an equally soft smile. "Love you too. Oh, the recipe! Now sit at the island and wait, because these brownies are going to knock your socks off!"

Junmyeon settles at the island and watches Kris, love welling up until he doesn't think he can hold it all in. But he does, because he'll never run out of room in his heart for Kris. He wants to spend the rest of his life with him. And he will, ring or no ring, so he's happy to wait for as long as Kris needs. Until Kris is ready, Junmyeon is happy to just enjoy his company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking it out to the end <3 If you want to see more of my already published fics, go check out my profile (especially if you like krisho...because the majority of my stuff is krisho XD) My links are all in the end note underneath this, so if you enjoyed this story and want to see more of what I'm doing in the future, come talk to me on any of my SNS! Also, please leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, please leave a kudos and comment!! If you want to talk to me, please come join me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/killmeDO), [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/killmeDO), and [Tumblr!](http://killmedo.tumblr.com) I'll be updating this hopefully every other week until it's complete!!


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